Metallic Onslaught Show Archive

Listen to the Show

Playlist
Orchid - Black Funeral
Motorhead - Rock N Roll Music
Headcat - Let It Rock
Megadeth - 13
Hell - Plague And Fyre

Arch/Matheos - On The Fence
Uriah Heep - Money Talk
White Wizzard - Fall Of Atlantis
Iced Earth - Dystopia
Anthrax - I'm Alive

Lazarus A.D. - Light A City (Up In Smoke)
Anthrax - The Giant
Winds Of Plague - Drop The Match
Megadeth - Guns, Drugs & Money
Machine Head - Locust

The Rods - The Code
Chrome Division - Bulldogs Unleashed
Kittie - We Are The Lamb
Iwrestledabearonce - Karate Nipples
Evile - Centurion

Mastodon - Curl Of The Burl
Lazarus A.D. - The Ultimate Sacrifice
Diamond Plate - At The Mountains Of Madness
Pagan's Mind - Walk Away In Silence
Evile - Long Live New Flesh

Chthonic - Southern Cross
Ghost - Stand By Him
Chrome Division - Long Distance Call Girl
Megadeth - Public Enemy No. 1
Within Temptation - Faster

Anthrax - Fight 'Em Til You Can't
Machine Head - Pearls Before The Swine
Mastodon - Dry Bone Valley
Septic Flesh - Five-Pointed Star
Vektor - Dying World

Crowbar - As I Become One
Sulaco - Corridor
Ana Kefr - Thaumatrope
Unexpect - Unfed Pendulum
Vallenfyre - Ravenous Whore

The Bronx Casket Co. - Antihero
The Rods - I Just Wanna Rock
Deceased - The Traumatic
In Solitude - Demons
Gentlemans Pistols - Midnight Crawler
Arch/Matheos - Midnight Serenade

Warbringer - Living Weapon
Mortal Sin - Blood Of My Enemies
Isole - The Lake
Sulaco - The Approach

Reign Of Vengeance - She's Best Kept Headless
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Recap by Fire Eater Wizard
So, there is very little to discuss in this recap, as the majority of the evening was chock full of some GREAT music! Love counting down everybody's favorites from the previous year!
There were, however, some points of interest, and I'm going to touch on them before sharing everybody's favorites from 2011.

I'd mentioned in the previous recap that Tim seemed to have another side to him that was becoming more dominant. This "Other Tim" had assured the cast of The Last Exit For The Lost that he was going to do something that would "make Satan happy", but when confronted with it on The Metallic Onslaught, he claimed that the details were between the Devil and himself.
Yep, he was proving to be a hard nut to crack, but on the January 1st edition of The Last Exit, we got him to confess to some of his actions on that controversial Christmas morning. After much interrogation, we were able to piece together some of the following:

He'd been speeding...going about 35 in a 30 mph zone...
He may or may not have parked in a handicapped spot...
He removed a mattress tag...
I believe he may have stolen money from a Dunk N' Donuts tip jar, or perhaps a "take a penny, leave a penny" dish...
I know there was some more, but it escapes me at the moment.
Okay, I don't know how happy any of that would have made Satan, but I'm sure if there's a Hell and he exists, he's probably laughing his big red ass off...
He revealed even more on Friday's edition of the Onslaught, but, once again, the details escape me.

Azkath had expressed some curiosity as to how I'd been doing recently, and I explained that I'd pretty much become a new resident of Skyrim.
Yeah, that's what happens with this game. You don't just become addicted, you fucking move in. Welcome to your new life, whether it's as a Nord, Breton, Khajit, Argonian, or any other number of races available to you in what I beleive to be the greatest RPG ever made. Seriously, you think you've only been playing for two hours, and you realize it's actually four or five hours that have passed. It is the most immersive video game I've ever played.
Anyhoo, that brought on a full discussion of everybody's favorite old-school games. We basically ran the gamut of everything you could imagine from 80's arcade and console games.  Something was even mentioned  about a Cabbage Patch Kids game for Colecovision...
From there, it was generally agreed that most of us preferred Garbage Pail Kids (loved those disgusting little fuckers...). Strangely, it was during this part of the discussion that my tongue decided to betray me, and Garbage Pail started to come out as Gorbachev...eventually translating into Gorbachev Pail Kids...
Hilarity ensued...

So, finaly, onto the meat and potatoes of this recap. Here are the top albums of 2011 as picked by Joe, Rick, Josh, Bill, and myself, along with the songs we played to represent each album. Not necessarily in any specific order, mind you.
So, here goes!

Joe's Top Picks for 2011
The Bronx Casket Co.- Antihero (Antihero)
The Rods- Vengeance (I Just Wanna Rock)
Deceased- Surreal Overdose (The Traumatic)
In Solitude- The World, The Flesh, The Devil (Demons)
Gentleman's Pistols- At Her Majesty's Pleasure (Midnight Crawler)
Arch/Matheos- Sypathetic Resonance (Midnight Serenade)
Warbringer- Worlds Torn Asunder (Living Weapon)
Mortal Sin- Psychology Of Death (Blood Of My Enemies)
Isole- Born From Shadows (The Lake)
Sulaco- Build & Burn (The Approach)

Rick's Top Picks for 2011
Anthrax- Worship Music (Fight "Em 'Til You Can't)
Machine Head- Unto The Locust (Pearls Before The Swine)
Mastodon- The Hunter (Dry Bone Valley)
Septic Flesh- The Great Mass (Five-Pointed Star)
Vektor- Outer Isolation (Dying World)
Crowbar- Sever The Wicked Head (As I Become One)
Sulaco- Build & Burn (Corridor)
Ana Kefr- The Burial Tree (Thaumatrope)
Unexpect- Fables Of The Sleepless Empire (Unfed Pendulum)
Vallenfyre- Fragile King (Ravenous Whore)

Josh's Top Picks for 2011
Orchid- Capricorn (Black Funeral)
Motorhead- The World Is Yours (Rock N' Roll Music)
The Head Cat- Walk The Walk...Talk The Talk (Let It Rock)
Megadeth- Thirteen (13)
Hell- Human Remains (Plague and Fyre)
Arch/Matheos- Sympathetic Resonance (On The Fence)
Uriah Heep- Into The Wild (Money Talk)
White Wizzard- Flying Tigers (Fall Of Atlantis)
Iced Earth- Dystopia (Dystopia)
Anthrax- Worship Music (I'm Alive)

Bill's Top Picks for 2011
Lazarus A.D.- Black Rivers Flow (Light A City (Up In Smoke) )
Anthrax- Worship Music- The Giant
Winds Of Plague- Against The World (Drop The Match)
Megadeth- Thirteen (Guns, Drugs, & Money)
Machine Head- Unto The Locust (The Locust)
The Rods- Vengeance (The Code)
Chrome Division- 3rd Round Knockout (Bulldogs Unleashed)
Kittie- I've Failed You (We Are The Lamb)
Iwrestledabearonce- Ruining It For Everybody (Karate Nipples)
Evile- Five Serpent's Teeth (Centurion)

Randy's Top Picks for 2011
1. Within Temptation- The Unforgiving (Faster)
2. Megadeth- Thirteen (Public Enemy #1)
3. Ghost- Opus Eponymous (Stand By Him)
4. Chrome Division- 3rd Round Knockout (Long Distance Call Girl)
5. Chthonic- Takasago Army (Southern Cross)
6. Evile- Five Serpent's Teeth (Long Live The New Flesh)
7. Pagan's Mind- Heavenly Ecstasy (Walk Away In Silence)
8. Diamond Plate- Generation Why? (At The Mountains Of Madness)
9. Lazarus A.D.- Black Waters Flow (The Ultimate Sacrifice)
10. Mastodon- The Hunter (Curl Of The Burl)

So, before I wrap this up for this week, let's take a peek at those a little more closely. Last year, there was a great deal of overlapping. Not quite so much this year, but there is definitely some. Mastodon, Lazarus A.D., Evile, Chrome Division, Sulaco, The Rods, Machine Head, Arch/Matheos each appear on two separate lists, with Megadeth and Anthrax appearing on three lists.  Truth is,  if I'd been paying more attention when submitting my picks, Anthrax would have made it onto FOUR out of five of the lists for 2012!
So, I'd say Anthrax is back with a vengeance with what could be considered the best album of 2011 as picked by The Metallic Onslaught, followed closely by Megadeth,  and must-own albums by each of those acts that charted twice.
When it all boils down, you can't go wrong with any album on any of those lists! I'm pretty damned happy with the results!

Listen to the Show;
http://www.metalliconslaught.com/11/06-11.m3u
Playlist Below...

Recap by Randy aka MetalWulf aka Wulfie aka MetalHoax aka Hoaxie...phew...

This was one of those nights where the stupidity level went completely off the charts. I honestly don't know where to begin with this...

Let's see...Joe Marro joined us in the studio for his first visit in just a hair over a year. Our young guitar virtuoso seems to be doing well, although things with his previous band, Paradyme, kinda fell through. Luckily we've got some recordings that came from that particular meeting of the musical minds, and we've been playing some of them over the past couple of weeks. Joe's got other things goin' on, though, so there's no worry of him falling off the face of the planet, musically speaking. He'll be performing with In The Presence Of Enemies, part of a show that is headlined by Animals As Leaders, and takes place at Mohawk Palace in Buffalo, NY on July 18. He's also still contributing to Marrotech, which you can find right here on good ol' Facebook as well as MySpace. Good places to take a listen to Joe's work, to be honest. The kid is pretty damned phenomenal.

So much for the serious portion of the show!

Seriously, things deteriorated very quickly on this particular evening. I mean, there's a perfectly good reason why we call our little section of the studio "The Stupid Room". It has more than earned that name, and probably long before it was ever dubbed as such. But there's stupid, and then there's STOOOOOOPIIIIID....

Bill's roommate Greg was briefly mentioned. Now, Greg was known as Dude On Couch (D.O.C. for short...) until Bill's previous roommate got the boot. Now Dude On Couch has his own room, so he's now known as Dude OFF Couch (so as to still keep the D.O.C. nickname...) Somehow this not only led to the mentioning of how I have a Moose On Couch (literally, a stuffed moose that was a door prize at a Christmas party many years ago...). A photo of that moose can now be seen on the Metallic Onslaught's Facebook page...
Now, that, on it's own, wasn't so terrible. It wasn't until Josh said something about DudeOnCouch.com that it got inappropriate. Yeah, we've got our minds firmly entrenched in the gutter, so of course we all envisioned dudes on their couches, in front of webcams...
Bleah...
That officially falls under the category of things that we should never mention on the show, ever again...

So, it was established that it was Will Polson's (aka Shades) birthday, and somewhere along the line I got nominated to be the one to administer the required number of birthday spankings. A mentally scarring process, I would much rather have left it all to Lindsey, who is dating Will. Problem is, they both would have enjoyed it too much, so it fell on me to the the deed...
Something about using Astro-Glide had been mentioned, which prompted me to state that were I to use that while spanking Will, I would likely end up with my arm up his ass to my elbow, and then we could have a puppet show on the Onslaught...
Totally, TOTALLY, unnecessary...
Anyhoo, Will got the required number of spankings, and then some. I don't know who was more damaged in the end, to be perfectly honest.

So, throughout the evening we'd been prompting listeners to "Like" our Facebook page. In recent weeks we've had a major increase in our numbers, and we had just cracked the 600 mark.
Now, understand that just three weeks prior, just before Finger Lakes Metal Fest, we were at 485. By the time we went off the air on the most recent edition of the show, we had hit 612. We were aiming for 666 by the end of the night, but that's still almost 130 new fans in three weeks time!
I'd also like to mention that Joe Marro offered to shave all the hair from his body if we reached our goal of 666. I'd almost have to say that we're probably just as glad that we didnt' have to endure that...

A number of us, particularly Rick, Joe Marro, and myself, were experiencing some gassiness. Now, if you're a regular listener, this should really not come as anything remotely close to a surprise, but thigs went way off kilter in that regard this week. Seriously, the smell was almost beyond unbearable at times. It was frequently mentioned that underwear should probably be inspected for poo fragments.
Now, I don't know why this popped in my head, but the subject of poo got me thinking of something I'd pondered while watching "America's Got Talent". I even mentioned this on the show.
For those unfamiliar with G.G. Allin, here's a little summary: Part punk performer, part performance artist, all disgusting. The guy was infamous for crapping on stage, rolling in it, and throwing it into the crowd. I'm pretty sure he may have even tasted and spit poo at certain junctures... Anyhoo, G.G. was also famous for promising to kill himself onstage someday, and suggesting he may take a "lucky" fan or two with him. Mr. Allin died of a heroin overdose before anything like that could happen. He may or may not have been covered in his own feces at the time...

Anyway, while watching America's Got Talent this week, I'd gotten to wondering how the judges would have reacted to G.G. Allin if he'd lived long enough to audition for such a show. Really, just picture the reactions of Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne, and Howie Mandell. ESPECIALLY Howie Mandel, who is a notorious germophobe.

C'mon, tell me that doesn't just tickle your funny bone...

In the end, one of those nights where we laughed long, loud, and frequently.
And to be completely honest, those really are the BEST nights!

Playlist;
Rhapsody Of Fire - Ghosts Of Forgotten Worlds
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes - I've Done Everything For You
Trivium - In Waves
Within The Ruins - Carry On Wayward Son

Twisted Sister - You Can't Stop Rock 'N' Roll
Twisted Sister - Under The Blade
Who Cares - Out Of My Mind
Karma To Burn - The Cynics
Pyramaze - The Bone Carver
Cypherseer - Aftermass

Saxon - Hammer Of The Gods
The Muggs - Blood Meridian
Warrant - Cocaine Freight Train
TYR - I
Black Stone Cherry - Change
Alestorm - Death Throes Of the Terrorsquid

Morbid Angel - Beauty Meets Beast
Sepulura - Relentless
Herder - Heading South
Othin - Approaching Darkness
Spellcaster - Spellcaster

Paradyme - Distorted Reality
Job For A Cowboy - Execution Parade
Devin Townsend Project - Planet Of The Apes

Arch Enemy - The Book Of Heavy Metal
Order Of The Dead - Stab
Slayer - Behind The Crooked Cross

Cry To The Blind - Better Than Me
Nine Round - Soldier
Fleshburn - Amongst The Dead
Prong - Beg To Differ
Deceased - The Traumatic
In Solitude - Demons

Tombs - Bloodletters
INC - If I Were President
Black Sabbath - Digital Bitch
Thorr-Axe - Dragon King
The Black Dahlia Murder - On Stirring Seas Of Salted Blood

Ozzy Osbourne - No Bone Movies
Ozzy Osbourne - Steal Away (The Night)
The Rods - Fight Fire With Fire
Black'N Blue - Candy
Black Tide - Walking Dead Man
Black Country Communion - Man In The Middle

Unexpect - Silence This Parasite
IKILLYA - Razorblades
Vanna - I, The Remover

A Pale Horse Named Death - When Crows Decend Upon You

Listen to the Show;
http://www.metalliconslaught.com/11/04-16.m3u
Playlist Below...

Recap by Randy aka Wulfie, who is dreadfully afraid that the Croctosquatch may be real...

Before delving into the meat and potatoes of this weeks' recap, I'd like to point out that I have NEVER owned or worn a Tuggie...

We had members of Spater on hand, as we begin some serious promotion for the upcoming 2011 edition of the Finger Lakes Metal Fest.

Another upcoming event, one that we're really not as excited about, is No Pants Day, which is really beginning to creep up again. Hard to believe that it's just under three weeks away. I mean, just tossing around suggestions for this years' celebration was disturbing in and of itself. I mean, somebody actually recommended I wear a Tuggie!

(For those who have no clue as to what a Tuggie is, just think of a Snuggie for the male parts...)

Okay, granted the Tuggie suggestion came after I jokingly mentioned wearing a banana hammock for that show,but I can personally guarantee that the last thing I'm going to do on No Pants Day is subject folks to that sight. I mean, it may be all well and good for Dave and Just Joe to waltz around in their boxers, but  I'll probably just make due with a good ol' comfortable pair of shorts. Leave that other crazy shit for someone else!

(For those who have no clue as to what the big deal about No Pants Day is, feel free to check out the trailer on our Facebook page, or on the main web page. If you really feel the need to see more after that, check out videos from the past two celebrations, also on the main web page AND on YouTube!  Consider yourself warned...)

Sometime after the arrival of Azkath it was mentioned that perhaps we should do a No Pants Day invasion of The Last Exit For The Lost. Personally, I'm pretty sure that one night is going to be more than enough. Actually, I honest think No Pants Day has had more than enough mention for this recap. It'll be here soon enough, unfortunately.

Movin' right along...


So, one of the more humorous moments of the evening centered around the title of a song by a band I believe to be called Motherboar. The song title being (and I hope I've got the spelling right...) "Croctosquatch".
You can imagine the hilarity that ensued, seriously...
I mean, what the fuck is a Croctosquatch? The Satanic offspring of Wally Gator and Bigfoot? (As in, "Run for your life, it's the Croctosquatch"!
Or maybe some kind of diabolical form of STD? (As in, "I've got a really, REAAAALLLY itchy case of the Croctosquatch!")
The name just SOUNDS creepy! EWWWW!
Something tells me we'll be playing that one again. Probably frequently...

Moving along to the subject of my smoking!
I'm actually happy to announce that as of this writing I have not had a cigarette in two days. I'm betting Joe is pretty relieved, too, since things were starting to get a little out of hand during the week. I mean, for some bizarre reason every time I wanted a cigarette, I felt the urge to go to Joe's house and give him a hug. This resulted in an assortment of artillery being used. Rifles, shotguns, grenades...and a taser to the balls, which I'm still not exactly recovered from. Honestly, every time I get aroused, my hair starts to stand on end, and...well...
Just think of what happens when you touch something made of metal and that little jolt of static electricity jumps from your finger. Only it's not my finger that's involved...
Of course, as added incentive, I had some more tough love from Azkath, this time in the form of a barbed-wire wrapped baseball bat.
You may think I'm jesting, but the video will be forthcoming. I don't recommend being on the receiving end of such a device to be honest. Although, Will (aka Shades) was getting a good dose of the bat as well, and I got to be on the delivery end for a couple of shots.
Now THAT was fun!