Metallic Onslaught Show Archive

Listen to the Show;
http://www.metalliconslaught.com/11/04-16.m3u
Playlist Below...

Recap by Randy aka Wulfie, who is dreadfully afraid that the Croctosquatch may be real...

Before delving into the meat and potatoes of this weeks' recap, I'd like to point out that I have NEVER owned or worn a Tuggie...

We had members of Spater on hand, as we begin some serious promotion for the upcoming 2011 edition of the Finger Lakes Metal Fest.

Another upcoming event, one that we're really not as excited about, is No Pants Day, which is really beginning to creep up again. Hard to believe that it's just under three weeks away. I mean, just tossing around suggestions for this years' celebration was disturbing in and of itself. I mean, somebody actually recommended I wear a Tuggie!

(For those who have no clue as to what a Tuggie is, just think of a Snuggie for the male parts...)

Okay, granted the Tuggie suggestion came after I jokingly mentioned wearing a banana hammock for that show,but I can personally guarantee that the last thing I'm going to do on No Pants Day is subject folks to that sight. I mean, it may be all well and good for Dave and Just Joe to waltz around in their boxers, but  I'll probably just make due with a good ol' comfortable pair of shorts. Leave that other crazy shit for someone else!

(For those who have no clue as to what the big deal about No Pants Day is, feel free to check out the trailer on our Facebook page, or on the main web page. If you really feel the need to see more after that, check out videos from the past two celebrations, also on the main web page AND on YouTube!  Consider yourself warned...)

Sometime after the arrival of Azkath it was mentioned that perhaps we should do a No Pants Day invasion of The Last Exit For The Lost. Personally, I'm pretty sure that one night is going to be more than enough. Actually, I honest think No Pants Day has had more than enough mention for this recap. It'll be here soon enough, unfortunately.

Movin' right along...


So, one of the more humorous moments of the evening centered around the title of a song by a band I believe to be called Motherboar. The song title being (and I hope I've got the spelling right...) "Croctosquatch".
You can imagine the hilarity that ensued, seriously...
I mean, what the fuck is a Croctosquatch? The Satanic offspring of Wally Gator and Bigfoot? (As in, "Run for your life, it's the Croctosquatch"!
Or maybe some kind of diabolical form of STD? (As in, "I've got a really, REAAAALLLY itchy case of the Croctosquatch!")
The name just SOUNDS creepy! EWWWW!
Something tells me we'll be playing that one again. Probably frequently...

Moving along to the subject of my smoking!
I'm actually happy to announce that as of this writing I have not had a cigarette in two days. I'm betting Joe is pretty relieved, too, since things were starting to get a little out of hand during the week. I mean, for some bizarre reason every time I wanted a cigarette, I felt the urge to go to Joe's house and give him a hug. This resulted in an assortment of artillery being used. Rifles, shotguns, grenades...and a taser to the balls, which I'm still not exactly recovered from. Honestly, every time I get aroused, my hair starts to stand on end, and...well...
Just think of what happens when you touch something made of metal and that little jolt of static electricity jumps from your finger. Only it's not my finger that's involved...
Of course, as added incentive, I had some more tough love from Azkath, this time in the form of a barbed-wire wrapped baseball bat.
You may think I'm jesting, but the video will be forthcoming. I don't recommend being on the receiving end of such a device to be honest. Although, Will (aka Shades) was getting a good dose of the bat as well, and I got to be on the delivery end for a couple of shots.
Now THAT was fun!