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Showing posts with label silly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label silly. Show all posts

July 13, 2013 - What Jeffie Swallowed...

Listen to the Show





 Playlist
KISS - Young And Wasted 
KISS - Carr Jam 1981 
Manegarm - Hordes Of Hel 
Alice In Chains - Lab Monkey 

Judas Priestess - Hellion/Electric Eye 
Jorn - Cancer Demon 
Trouble - Sucker 
Philip H. Anselmo and The Illegals - Music Media Is My Whore 
Witch Cross - Axe To Grind 
Church Of Void - Son Of A Witch 

Havok - It Is True 
Moon Curse - Medicinecoma 
A Sound Of Thunder - Hello Nurse 
Sirenia - Cold Caress 
Lord Dying - Descend Into External 
Tank - Conflict Primeval 

They Might Be Zombies - Headshot 
Speedtrap - Battle Cry 
UnSaid Fate - Our Addiction 
Powerwolf - Nightcrawler 

Mercia - Misery Dispenser 
Goatess - Tentacles Of Zen 
Deep Purple - Perfect Strangers 
Tear Out The Heart - Only Posers Die 
Terror - Live By The Code 
Spirts Of The Dead - Song Of Many Reefs 

Butcher Babies - In Denial 
Queensryche - Vindication 
Max Pie - Earth's Rules 
Judas Priestess - You Got Another Thing Coming 

As They Burn - When Everything Falls Apart 
The Burial - Wretched Reckless Forms 
Scorpion Child - Antioch 
Brutus - Mystery Machine 
Colossus - Superficial Savior 

Venom - Leave Me In Hell 
Huntress - Spectra Spectral 
Orphaned Land - The Simple Man 
Into The Flood - Sacrificing The Worm 
Venomous Maximus - The River 
Kalmah - windlake Tale 

Trouble - When The Sky Comes Down 
Gorguts - Oceans Of Wisdom 
Witch Cross - Demon In The Mirror 
Stone Magnum - Lonely God 

Psychopath - A Myth For The Ages 
Ramming Speed - Under The Monolith 
Pasadena Napalm Division - All Of A Sudden Dead 
Satan - Time To Die
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Recap by The Metal Wulf

It was just Joe and I in the early going of the show, as Rick and Josh had gone to check out the Mercia CD release party at Water Street Music Hall, meaning they'd be joining us later in the evening.

An early discussion centered on the return of Judas Priestess to Seneca Falls, where they were to perform for their second year straight at the Women's Right To Rock Festival. Naturally, we were all pretty pumped up for the return of these ladies, especially considering that they were bringing along a new guitar player.

We were also intrigued by the fact that Judas Priestess would be followed up by a burlesque act to close out the evening.

Joe seemed a little worried that perhaps I wouldn't be able to restrain myself during the burlesque portion of the evening, and he didn't seem at all convinced when I told him I had better self control than that.

As a matter of fact, he had this image in his head of me running up to the stage in my mankini, and ultimately ending the evening by getting arrested.

Then he went on to mention how cool it would be for that to happen, and that I'd be able to give them an interview from my jail cell. He also mentioned something about me becoming a human Oreo, but I honestly don't want to think about that...

Anyhoo, I'm happy to say that none of that happened. We had a good time, got our second interview with the ladies, and hung out chatting with them for a bit afterward.

It was also very cool to have Dream Theater's John Petrucci in Seneca Falls, as well, as he was on hand to support his wife, Rena, who just so happens go be the previously mentioned new guitar player in Judas Priestess. 

COOL!

Azkath dropped in briefly. Very briefly, in fact. 

To be perfectly honest, he seemed to have dropped in just long enough to interrogate some of us as to our whereabouts on the night of July 6. Seems that some goof in a mask (calling himself Darksyde), broke into The Last Exit For The Lost that night and wreaked some form of havok, possibly abducting Justjoe...I can't remember, really...

Anyhoo, whatever form of mischief it was, Azkath proceeded to beat the crap out of me, to make sure that I wasn't Darksyde. I assured him (over and over again...) that I had gone to Gigantour that night, and that it wasn't me behind the raid. Fact is, Rick, Josh, Bill, and myself were all at Gigantour, so it couldn't have been any of us.

Whoever it was, I sure wouldn't want to be him...

Jeffie had dropped by once again, looking for revenge for the beatdown he'd gotten with all that styrofoam he'd brought with him the week before. 

This time he brought along an implement of violence that most of us dread. Not because it's overly brutal or intimidating...it's just...very...very...

...awkward...

So, it was with Dickbat (literally, a Whiffle bat with a plastic penis duct-taped to it...) that Jeffie attempted to deliver retribution. Thankfully I was able to get it away from him (because it's just weird having that thing flying at any part of your body...), and proceeded to pummel him back. During the scuffle, Jeffie proceed to wrench the dick from the bat, which really didn't make the situation any less awkward, because now Jeffie was running around with a small plasic cock in his hand...

So, if that weren't bad enough, Jeffie also mentioned that he was charging me for services rendered on No Pants Day.

Yeah, he's CHARGING me for the beatdown he and JustJoe gave me, if you can believe that. He wants $50.00 for enacting that hate crime upon my person, all because he claims to have been SAVING me from my Brony-ism.

I guess I just have to wait and see what happens when I don't pay...

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July 6, 2013 - Jayne Evil, Mercia and Order of the Dead

Listen to the Show




Playlist
A Sound Of Thunder - Queen Of Hell
Karnivool - We Are
Powerwolf - Headless Cross
Stone Magnum - The Gallows Of Ohrdruf

Lord Dying - Water Under A Burning Bridge
Tear Out The Heart - Coffin Eyes
The Burial - Of Jasper And Carnelian
Tank - Retribution
Carnivore - Inner Conflict
Huntress - Running Wild

Carcass - Captive Bolt Pistol
Deeds Of Flesh - Hollow Human Husks
Blood Red Throne - Torturewhore
Autopsy - Coffin Crawlers
King Kobra - Running Wild

Mercia - The Necromancer
Order Of The Dead - What Humans Remain?
As They Burn - Frozen Vision
Havok - Under The Gun

Mercia - Exile In Ruin
Terror - The Most High
Spirits Of The Dead - Golden Sun
Jorn - Traveller
Goatess - Full Moon At Noon

Ire Clad - Blindside
Gorguts - Forgotten Arrows
Butcher Babies - Grim Sleeper
The Things They Carry - A Million Different Places

Satan - Personal Demons
Kalmah - Pikemaster
Scorpion Child - Liquor
Orphaned Land - Our Own Messiah
Beyond Creation - Social Disability
Amon Amarth - Father Of The Wolf

A Sound Of Thunder - Trashed
Moon Curse - Brontis
Extol - Ministers
Brutus - Crystal Parrot
High On Fire - 10,000 Years
Continents - Regrets

Queensryche - Spore
Into The Flood - By Way Of The Snake
Venomous Maximus - Path Of Doom
Lonewolf - Raise The Flag
Snow White's Poison Bite - Count Dracula Kid!

Angel Dust - To Dust You Will Decay



 Recap by The Metal Wulf
Started the evening out getting Hell from Joe. Seems that he was serious about me posing as his body double for a certain birthday party, which he ended up missing because of a banana that he ate. Guess it didn't agree with him...
Hey, what can I say? I thought he was just joking around about that whole body double thing, I swear!
Anyhoo, to placate him, I went ahead and told him my plans regarding No Pants Day 2014. I assured him that he wouldn't have to show up, I'd take his spot, and that by doing so, there was no chance of me ruining the night by running around half-naked again, because I'd actually be HIM, and not me...
He seemed very intrigued by the whole idea, so we'll see how things develop.

Jane Evile joined us in the studio to promote her upcoming gig this Friday night at Women's Right 2 Rock 2014, held in Seneca Falls, right by the canal. Jane's band, A Taste Of Evil, will go on at 10:00 p.m., closing out the first night of the three-day event.
Speaking of Women's Right 2 Rock, Judas Priestess will return on Saturday night, hitting the stage at 9:00 p.m. We're hoping to get another chance to talk with some of the ladies before the show, so keep your eyes peeled for a YouTube interview.



We also had members of both Mercia and Order Of The Dead drop by. They were promoting Mercia's CD release party at the Water Street Music Hall in Rochester this Friday night.
Seriously, between the Onslaught, Women's Right 2 Rock, and the Mercia CD release... that's plenty of things to keep you occupied on a Friday night! If you're not enjoying one, you should take in one of the others, without a doubt!

The only other notable happening of the evening happened when Jeffie returned to get revenge on me for not saving him from floating down the canal in Joe's birthday cake...
Really? Revenge? ON ME? After what he and JustJoe did to me on No Pants Day? That shithead's lucky I didn't stuff him in a crate and toss him in the canal again...
Unfortunately, what DID happen wasn't nearly as cool as that. Instead, there was a very messy beatdown with styrofoam. Lots and lots of styrofoam...hard as hell to clean up, to be honest...

So, I'm pretty sure there will be plenty of discussion on Gigantour, as more than a few of us were present when it rolled into Canandaigua this past Saturday. Honestly, it was a damned good show, and I'm looking forward to hearing what some of the rest of the guys thought!

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June 1, 2013 - Phone and Powder for Randy

Listen to the Show





Playlist
Cathedral - Tombs Of The Blind Dead
We Butter The Bread with Butter - 1000 Volt
Megadeth - Cold Sweat
Dagoba - Kiss Me, Kraken
Evile - A Sinister Call

Kadavar - Black Snake
Kylesa - Low Tide
Tony Martin - Bitter Sweet
Satan - Personal Demons
Burning Rain - My Lust Your Fate

Timo Tolkki's Avalon - Avalanche Anthem
Demom Lung - Binding Of The Witch
Immolation - Echoes Of Despair
Doctor Butcher - The Chair
Deathening - The Living Burn

The Black Dahlia Murder - Goat Of Departure
Autopsy - Arch Cadaver
Draugul - One Rode To Asa Bay
Trials - With Only Sorrow Now

Dio - Rainbow In The Dark
Clock Strikes XII - Enter In
Philip H Anselmo And The Illegals - Walk Through Exits Only
New Keepers Of The Water Towers - Visions of Death

Svartcrown - The Therapy Of Flesh
Faith No More - Woodpecker From Mars
Colossus - Transgressor
Orchid - Wizard Of War
F.K.U. - They Feed In The Dark
Sodom - My Final Bullet

ASG - Castlestorm
Attacker - The Hammer
Church Of Misery - All Hallow's Eve
Feed Her To The Sharks - Death's Design
Anvil - Call Of Duty

Spirits Of The Dead - Red Death
A Pale Horse Named Death - Shallow Grave
Queens Of The Stone Age - I Appear Missing
white Wizzard - Strike The Iron

Alice In Chains - Phantom Limb
J.A.C.K. - Atomic Puppets
Diamond Tyr - Restless One
Liquid Me - Wrong

Satan - Incantations
Retox - Soviet Reunion
C.O.C. - Rabid Dogs
C.O.C. - LS 


Recap by The Metal Wulf

This week, we saw the return of Steve Papagiorgio, which was cool, since we hardly ever see him anymore. Always good for a few laughs!
Joe actually seemed a little surprised that Steve and I were getting along as well as we were. Probably because of that whole lawsuit thing a couple year's back. All water under the bridge, though, it's all good! No hard feelings at all!
(Your check's in the mail, you damnable, infernal, blood-sucking leech...hope you blow it all on hookers and get herpes...)
A request for Celine Dion prompted a short musical interlude on my behalf. The beatdowns ensued almost immediately...no big surprise, there...
Azkath had returned to visit us, seemingly a little miffed over the whole Brony thing. In fact, he'd told me that I had a call from that guy again, regarding that stupid My Little Pony convention. I don't remember much about that call, except that my head hurt afterward...a lot...not to mention the bruising...
And to make the evening even worse, Azkath had gotten wind that I'd snuck in a rare cigarette (it really is unusual for me to light up these days, just every so often if the mood strikes me...), and he decided to freshen me up by dumping athlete's foot powder all over me...
And that was where we left things off...


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May 25, 2013 - Jeffie wants to get Paid

Listen to the Show

Playlist
Alice In Chains - Breath On A window
U.D.O. - Never Cross My Way
Doctor Butcher - Season Of The Witch
Zed - Killing Machine

Megadeth - Kingmaker
Queensryche - Where Dreams Go To Die
Black Star Riders - Kingdom Of The Lost
Feed Her To The Sharks - Buried Alive

Spater - Here & Gone
Spirits Of The Dead - Red Death
Havok - Give Me Liberty... Or Give Me Death
Witch Cross - Axe To Grind
The Black Dahlia Murder - Raped In Hatred By Vines Of Thorn

Spater - Pummeled
Corrosion Of Conformity - Tell Me
Disfigured Dead - Cauterized
Kylesa - Long Gone
Thinning The Herd - Sludge
Horseface - Drown (The Siren Song)
Tormented - Funeral Fire

Alice In Chains - Stone
A Pale Horse Named Death - Devil Came With A Smile
Howl - Your Hell Begins
Dio - Like The Beat Of A Heart
Blinded By Faith - Shrivilled wings
Kings Destroy - A Time Of Hunting

HateFX - Play It By Fear
Lacrimas Profundere - Head Held High
Pamela Moore - Desperate By Design
Tristania - Cathedral
Anvil - Fire At Will
Lowkey - Devastation
Satan - Cenotaph
Morgengrau - The White Death

Ire Clad - God Of War
Queens Of The Stoneage - My God Is The Sun
Demon Lung - Hex Mark
The Isotopes - Odd Particle
Gama Bomb - Wrecking Ball
Meth Leppard - Rock N Roll Relapse

The Monolith Deathcult - s.A.D.M.
My Dying Bride - Only Tears To Remember
Black Cowgirl - Roadmaster
Orchid - Nomad
Kadaver - Doomsday Machine

The Organization - Bringer
Immolation - God Complex
Eviction - Struggle With Society
Svartcrown - Genesis Architect
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Recap by the Metal Wulf

Anyhoo, we'd previously left off anticipating Finger Lakes MetalFest, which we once again got to emcee on May 18 at Donselaar's in Clyde.



I know, I've said this the past two years running, but it always bears repeating: It's an HONOR to be part of this every year, we can't possibly thank Dave and the rest of Spater enough for allowing us to intoduce the bands, and it's always a good time.


This year's line-up was one of the best in recent memory, not that any have been bad by any stretch. And I've also gotta say, overall, this year's turnout seemed to be better than other years as well, as more people are attempting to come out and hang for at least a couple of hours, if not for the whole event. That just makes me all the more excited for future editions of MetalFest, and I know I speak for the rest of the guys when I say that we can't wait to come back next year!

This night also saw the return of Jeffie, who was really pushing his luck when you think about it. I mean, only a week earlier I had sworn vengeance on both him and JustJoe for the beatdown I'd been given at the end of our No Pants Day show.

In fact, that idiot had the audacity to suggest that I actually owe him money for SAVING me! Yeah, no shit, I OWE HIM MONEY! HAH!!! Yup, good ol' Jeffie is claiming that he "saved" me from my Brony-ism, and that I now owe him money for his services. Which is a load of crap, because if anyone is owed restitution, it's me, and I plan on receiving it, in huge quantities of flowing crimson... 

Truth is, his little game of "My Crotch, Your Face" is gonna turn into a round of "My Fist, Your Face". I even told him that I'd be glad to pay them both back. JustJoe will get paid back in Jeffie's blood, and Jeffie will get paid back in JustJoe's blood.

Hey, sounds fair to me! I even suggested juicing them with a wine press, just to be sure I got every little drop...


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May 4, 2013 - No Pants Day!



Listen to the Show
 

Playlist
** Slayer Tribute **
Captor Of Sin
Die By The Sword
Hell Awaits
Raining Blood

War Ensemble
South Of Heaven
Silent Scream
Dittohead
Gemini
Scrum
War Zone
Jihad
Hate Worldwide
Agressive Perfector
Angel Of Death

Masters Of Metal - Chameleon
The Resistance - To The Death
Pamela Moore - Paranoia
F.K.U. - Scream Bloody Mosher
M:Pire Of Evil - Blackened Are The Priests

Atrocity - Death By Metal
Ark Of The Covenant - Transgressors
Vicious Rumors - Electric Punishment
Orchid - Mountains Of Steel

Black Water Rising - Show No Mercy
Death Dealer - Hammer Down
Gary Clark Jr. - When My Train Pulls In
Amorphis - Enchanted By The Moon

Iron Glove - Heaven Hellbound
Suidakra - Let Me Put My Love Into You
Trail Of Tears - Path Of Destruction
The Monolith Deathcult - Drugs, Thugs & Machetes

Starkill - New Infernal Rebirth
Killswitch Engage - Time Will Not Remain
Potential Threat - Written In Blood
Horseface - Succubus (I Warned You!)
Ghost B.C. - Depth Of Satan's Eyes
Arsis - Choking On Sand

Anciients - Faith And Oath
Kings Destroy - The Toe
Kadaver - Rythm For Endless Minds
Sodom - Tracing The Victim
We As Human - Dead Man

Skid Row - Get Up
Ugly Kid Joe - No One Survives
Pamela Moore - Melt Into You
Avantasia - Dweller In A Dream
Pushmen - The Year Of Hands & Neck

Stygian - Bloodlines
Blood Ceremony - Witchwood

Kobra And The Lotus - No Rest For The Wicked



Recap by The Metal Wulf...


So, as per tradition, the night of the 3rd was our annual No Pants Day celebration (being the first Friday of the month). And, in all honesty, the first couple of hours were pretty uneventful in the sense that there was no uncomfortable silly occurrences, of the type we are all too well known for on this particular evening.
In fact, Joe attempted a save by suggesting that No Pants Day was over by the time the rest of the crew arrived (Jeffie, JustJoe, and Arydaea), mentioning how it was officially Saturday, and therefore May 4th, which is apparently now Official Star Wars Day (May The Fourth Be With You...)
But, Jeffie and JustJoe proclaimed it to be No Pants Day Weekend, so there was no avoiding it...

Before I get into any more detail regarding the horrors that befell later in the evening, I should mention that we devoted the first hour of the show to paying tribute to Slayer's Jeff Hanneman, who had sadly passed the day before. 
Those familiar with Hanneman's story know that he'd taken ill a couple year's ago, contracting necrotizing fasciitis, possibly from a spider bite. The official cause of death, as of recently, seems to be pointing to cirrhosis of the liver, however.
No matter, you can't prepare yourself for anything like this. I mean, come on, Hannaman was part of a major movement in heavy metal history, being part of the early thrash scene and helping to pave the way for a completely new genre of heavy music. His contributions to Slayer are practically limitless, including both music and lyrics, especially in the early years. He will be deeply and sorely missed...

So, moving along to the horrors of No Pants Day...
Okay, I confess, even I found myself to be highly creepy in the aftermath of the whole thing, when photos and video were being shared on Facebook. I mean, I even kept my shorts on this year, literally NO boxers and NO man-kini! 
Can't say the same for the shirt, though. 
So, yeah, in a nutshell, I put rainbow stickers around my nipples to act as Pasties, strapped on an inflatable unicorn horn, painted a mop head in rainbow hues (a HORRIBLE paint job, by the way...), and wore Jeffie's blonde wig (my head's been itchy every since...) in the interest of putting forth my ultimate personification of what a Brony would be. And I'm kinda ashamed of myself...
Of course, shame doesn't make it okay that at the end of the evening Jeffie and JustJoe beat me down and violated me with my own unicorn horn...and I'm pretty sure there was some sincere attempts at tea-bagging me at the very end...
Ewwww...
And let's not forget Arydaea's assurances to the three of us that not only was there a No Pants Day bus outside waiting for us, but there was also a Brony bus, specifically for me.
We looked...long and hard...far and wide...there were no buses...
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April 27, 2013 - Horseface and Stygian Visit


Listen to the Show

Playlist
Amorphis - Hopeless Days 

Avantasia - Black Orchid 
Cathedral - Infestation Of Grey Death 

Howl - Down So Low 
Deep Purple - Blood From A Stone 
Ghost B.c. - Monstrance Clock 
Ark Of The Covenant - Parasite 
Vision Of Disorder - Colorblind 

Potential Threat - Written In Blood 
Killswitch Engage - No End In Sight 
Starkill - Immortal Hunt 
Arsis - Handbook For The Recently Deceased 

Stygian - Unholy 
Horseface - Ten Crowns 
Dust - From A Dry Camel 
Ugly Kid Joe - Devil's Paradise 
Skid Row - Let's Go 
Scanner - Across The Universe 

Stygian - Bloodlines 
Spater - Hot Rod Demon 
Horseface - Passion 
Queensryche - I Don't Believe In Love 
Russkaja - Barada 
Dead Horse Trauma - The Head Of The Snake 

Stygian - Sovereign 
Spater - Agony 
Horseface - Drown (The Siren Song) 
Amon Amarth - Deceiver Of The Gods 
Megadeth - Super Collider 
Mindless Self Indulgence - It Gets Worse 

Terror - Live By The Code 
Anciients - Built To Die 
Woe - Ceaseless Jaws 
Sodom - Into The skies Of War 
War & Peace - Snake Eyes 

Anvil - 666 
Anvil - Eat Your Words 
M:Pire Of Evil - Kissing The Beast 
Kadaver - Black Snake 
Gama Bomb - Metal Idiot 
Pushmen - Born Again Too Late 
While She Sleeps - Until The Death 

Dead Awaken - Venom OfThe Population 
Sacred Mother Tongue - Bird In Hand 
Spiritual Beggars - Kingmaker 
Kvelertak - Trepan 
Avenger Of Blood - Centuries Of Hell 
Suicidal Tendencies - smash It! 

Owl - Taking Over 
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Recap by The Metal Wulf

Fairly uneventful evening all told. David Henninger from Spater dropped by for more promotion of Finger Lakes Metal Fest. Yeah, time is flying, as of this writing the event is just a hair over two weeks away. Doesn't seem possible, but there ya have it!
Also on the Metal Fest end of things, we had Jesse Halstead, who will be singing for two bands at MetalFest this year. He'll be fronting his long-time band HorseFace, who will also be officially releasing their new CD ("Army Of Swine") that very day. He'll also be fronting Stygian, coming full circle from a year ago when that band asked him to be their vocalist following THAT Metal Fest.
Crazy how things happen, huh? Oh, and Stygian will have new music available, as well, to my understanding.

Azkath was also on hand, and proceeded to pummel me senseless when I'd admitted to liking The London Quireboys. Seems one of their songs had come up as a bullet on one of his Russian Roulette shows on The Last Exit For The Lost, and he had to rub it in my face....not to mention beat the snot out of me when I refused to denounce them...
Sorry, love that first album ("A Bit Of What You Fancy"), even 23 years after it's release. I've even done an edition of Randy's Rants talking about this whole debacle, so keep your eyes open on the ol' YouTube channel. I hope to have the latest clip up very soon.


Outside of that, the only really notable events occurred later in the evening. We've had a television in the Stupid Room for awhile, and Josh had been watching some basketball in between talk breaks. After it was all said and done, Eric from Ire Clad turned it to the Disney Channel...and subject us to an hour and a half of some of the lamest programming I've ever seen.
No beef against Disney, mind you. I mean, truth be told, if I had a choice, I'll always go with Warner Bros. and Looney Tunes over anything Walt ever concocted, but hey, it's still fun on occasion to take in some Disney animation.
But their other shows suck. Case in point, this thing that Eric was watching called "Good Luck Charlie"...god-awful...freakin' terrible...
Eric went on to describe to us his dream of recording an album of Demi Lovato covers, only giving it the extreme metal touch...you know, blast beats and such...and if that doesn't scare you, I'm pretty sure he mentioned an interest in doing something similar with the Lady GaGa catalog...
Utterly terrifying...

So, with all that being said, our next show will be No Pants Day. I think that pretty much says it all. Bunch of goofs running around in their boxers, maybe some ladies in their undies as well, you never know.
One thing that won't be making an appearance this year, though, is anything resembling a damned Bronie! Ain't happenin', not on my watch!
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April 13, 2013 - What Randy Did to Cuss Muffin...



Playlist
Lordi - I Luv Ugly 

Owl - Destroyer 
Ugly Kid Joe - Devil's Paradise 
Kobra And The Lotus - 50 Shades Of Evil 
Black Pyramid - Bleed Out 

Anthrax - Keep On Runnin' 
Deep Purple - Hell To Pay 
Queensryche - Cold 
Sodom - Stigmatized 
Ghost B.C. - Year Zero 

Scanner - Wizard Force 
Woe - All Bridges Burned 
The Black Dahlia Murder - Into The Everblack 
Mistress - Psycho Bat 

Terror - Invasion 
Execution - In The Name Of Metal 
Suicidal Tendencies - Who's Afraid 
Fallstar - It's In Our Blood 
Septekh - Apollonian Eyes 
Dead Awaken - Mudhell 
Anciients - Overthrone 
Anciients - Falling In Line 

Avenger Of Blood - Aggressive Psychotic Behavior 
Anvil - Jackhammer 
Kvelertak - Spring Fra Livet 
Black Summer - Letting Go 
Device - Out Of Line 

Melvins - Black Betty 
Chain Reaction - Down Below 
Dragonsfire - The Gunslinger's Fate 
The Ocean - Bathyalpelagic I: Impasses 
Rob Zombie - Lucifer Rising 

Alice In Chains - Stone 
Starkill - Sword, Spear, Blood, Fire 
Killswitch Engage - Turning Point 
While She Sleeps - Death Toll 
Crossfaith - Leviathan 

Stryper - To Hell With The Devil 
Spiritual Beggars - Turn The Tide 
Volbeat - Doc Holiday 
Ghost B.C. - Depth Of Satan's Eyes 
Sebastian Bach - Piece of Me 
Saxon - Guardians Of The Tomb 
High On Fire - Snakes For The Devine 
Hatriot - And Your Children To Be Damned 

Lynch Mob - River Of Love 
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Recap by The Metal Wulf
We had Cuss Muffin and Karma from Roc City Roller Derby on hand to bring us up to speed with derby news.
Truth is, there's a lot going on. They've recently moved to Monroe Community College (Bill Gray's Ice Plex) for future bouts, and are also now members of the WFTA (Women's Flat Track Association). 
There was brief mention of No Pants Day while the girls were there, and Cuss Muffin suggested that what we needed was a No Tops Day. Not sure how that would fly, though...hmmmmm...
Somehow something was mentioned about Karma jumping over Joe as a skate stunt. The catch being, Joe has to dress as a shark, and swim around in a dunk tank, and Karma gets to dress like Fonzie from Happy Days. Personally, I say we need to make this happen before the new season is over, preferably around Joe's birthday!
Later in the evening, after Karma departed, I felt oddly compelled to give Cuss Muffin a lap dance, which didn't go quite as well as one would think. As a matter of fact, I got hip-checked...twice...and went reeling into the large wall displays where large quantities of vinyl are stored. 
The day's going to come where all of those records come pouring down... 
Darrel Lake had also returned to further promote his Wounded Warriors Project show that was held this past Saturday in Geneva.


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April 6, 2013 - Breaking Randy's Brain...


Listen to the Show

Playlist
    Kiss - I've Had Enough (Into The Fire)
Melvins - Warhead
Death Ray Vision - Not For Glory
Terror - Live By The Code

Spater - Sucker Punch
AC/DC - Let There Be Rock
Alice Chains - Stone
U.D.O. - Metal Machine
Crossfaith - Monolith

Cathedral - Pallbearer
Anthrax - Big Eyes
Nightshade - Apathy

Dead-Lift - Break-Down
Poetry In Black - Black Down
Cinderella - Bad Seamstress Blues/Fallin' Apart At The Seems
Clutch - Crucial Velocity
Adrenaline Mob - The Mob Rules
Witchburner - Spirit Of The Dead

Declarations - Exodus
Sworn To Remember - What's Left
Six Feet Under - The Day The Dead Walked
Avenger Of Blood - Spawn Of Evil
Kvelertak - Snilepisk
Dark Sermon - Carcass

Misfits - Scream!
Misfits - Helena
Misfits - Science Fiction/Double Feature
Anvil - Paper General
Lordi - We're Not Bad For The Kids (We're Worse)
Suffocation - Rapture Of Revocation
Volbeat - Room 24

Jungle Rot - Ruthless Omnipotence
Mortillery - Creature Possessor
Rotting Christ - Gilgames
Gloryhammer - Wizards!
Robot Lords Of Tokyo - Hell Will Have To wait

Cannibal Corpse - Nothing Left To Mutilate
Cannibal Corpse - Buried In The Backyard
Cough - Amaranth
Moss - The Bleeding Years

Iron Maiden - Heaven Can Wait
Lynch Mob - River Of Love
Black Summer - The Grind
Stryper - Soldiers Under Command
Krokus - Hardrocking Man
Hatriot - Weapons Of Class Destruction

Kiss - Heaven's On Fire
Deep Purple - Sail Away
Howl - Attrition
Pyrithion - Bleed Out
ASG - Avalanche

Saxon - Made In Belfast
Bring Me The Horizon - The House Of Wolves
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Recap by The Metal Wulf
Started the evening off with KISS's "I've Had Enough (Into The Fire)" from Animalize, mainly because I was pretty sure it had been quite some time since anything had been played from that disc.

And I was right...

Joe was having just a little too much fun, however, as he kept playing the intro to Heaven's On Fire...over and over again. You know, the one where Paul Stanley goes..."WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOAOOOOOOO!!!!"

Indeed, it got so bad that later in the evening, when Joe played the full song, Rick took it out on my hide in the closing moments of the show. Yep, he totally lost it and pummeled me like a baby seal...

And that wasn't the only weirdness going on. There was one entire set of music where I could have sworn Joe was playing some of the worst garbage imaginable. I'm talking The Bee Gees...Andy Gibb...ABBA (of course...sigh...), and David Geddes' "Run, Joey, Run", which is possibly one of the worst 70's songs ever written.
And yet everybody else claimed that that particular set of music was about as metal as you could get...I sure wasn't hearing it!

And, to make matters worse, by the end of the evening I was so conflicted that I didn't even believe myself! Literally, nothing that came out of my mouth seemed truthful! It was definitely one of those things that sincerely make you question your sanity! Wouldn't wish that on anybody!

So, regarding normal things, we had Darryl Lake on hand to promote the Wounded Warriors Project, which is being held at the Geneva American Legion on Saturday, April 20. Featured bands include Poetry In Black, Beneath The Words, Through Lifeless Eyes, Deadlift, Here's My Obituary, Declarations, and Sworn To Remember.
Pretty sure admission is $10, or $5 with the donation of non-parishable goods to be sent to our troops. NO FOOD PLEASE!!!
At least I think I've got that right, and if I didn't, I will clarify with Darryl once more, as he arrives again on Friday night for one more night of promotion.

Speaking on Friday night, looks like we'll finally be getting a visit from at least a couple of our favorite Roc City Roller Derby girls, as I believe Cuss Muffin and Karma may be dropping by.
Should be a good time!


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March 30, 2013 - Easter Jeffie


Listen to the Show

Playlist

Suicidal Tendencies - Smash It! 

Trouble - 'Scuse Me 
Bring Me The Horizon - The House Of Wolves 
Dark Sermon - Hounds 
Iron Maiden - Killers 

U.D.O. - Metal Machine 
Killswitch Engage - You Don't Bleed For Me 
Necrophagia L.A. - Tear Off Your Face 
War-Saw - Intro (Final Warning) 
War-Saw - Nuclear Nightmare 

Alice In Chains - Brother 
Ghost B.C. - Year Zero 
Queensryche - Redemption 
Dedvolt - Let It Burn 
Niacin - Krush 

Clutch - D.C. Sound Attack 
Anthrax - Smokin' 
Spiritual Beggars - Left Brain Ambassadors 
October Tide - Emptiness Fulfilled 
Left For Dead - Kill All Humans 

Lynch Mob - Wicked Sensation 
Robin Trower - Bridge Of Sighs 
Avenger Of Blood - Spawn Of Evil 
Kverertak - Nekrokosmos 
Jungle Rot - Rage Through The Wasteland 

Robot Lords Of Tokyo - Keepers Of The Night 
Saxon - Wheels Of Terror 
Gloryhammer - Magic Dragon 
Lordi - The Riff 

Hatriot - Blood Stained Wings 
Rotting Christ - Grandis Spiritus Diavolos 
Hatchet - Dawn Of The End 
Stryper - The Rock That Makes Me Roll 
Alice In Chains - Stone 
Flotsam And Jetsam - Ugly Noise 

Manowar - Manowar 
Soilwork - Realm Of The Wasted 
Ken Mode - The Terror Pulse 
Suffocation - Cycles Of Suffering 
Dark Throne - Valkyrie 

Mortillery - Madhouse 
Krokus - Rattlesnake Rumble 
Mad Season - I Don't Know Anything 
Terra Tenebrosa - The Compression Chamber 
Mothership - Angel Of Death 

Nightshade - Betrayal 
While She Sleeps - Death Toll 
Crossfaith - Jagerbomb 
Hope For The Dying - The Lost 
Psyche Corp. - Pound Of Flesh 
Godseed - This From The Past 
Avenger Of Blood - Centuries Of Hell 
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Recap by The Metal Wulf

There was a touch of the ol' Full Moon Madness goin' on, and I spent the evening partially fuzzy. Still kinda disappointed that nobody wanted to scratch me behind the ears...
You'll see what I mean when the video gets shared...

Had a brief visit from some of the extended Onslaught family, as Will and Lindsey dropped in to say hello for a bit. It had actually been quite some time since the two of them had dropped by, so it was fun seeing them. Hard to believe that it's been just over a year since they became parents!
Kudos to Lindsey for being the only person who was nice enough to scratch behind my ears. It felt very nice...

So, before getting to the meat and potatoes of crazy events for the evening, I need to discuss a strange phone call that came for me during the first talk break. 
Some person with a phony accent (think Apu from "The Simpsons"...) mentioned something about how he'd heard I was interested in My Little Pony. He even went so far as to extend an invite to a convention in Las Vegas, where he wanted me to be their keynote speaker for the event...
I was honestly perplexed at first. I mean, I was pretty sure somebody was just fucking with me, but let's face it, crazy shit happens with us sometimes, and I've approached a juncture where very little actually shocks me anymore. Hell, for all I know, there really COULD be some weird sort of Bronie-Con going on. 
Anyhow, I declined, politely explaining to this person that I wasn't remotely interested in anything Bronie-related, in fact I went so far as to inform him that I'd never even heard the term until this past December. 
The guy didn't seem to believe me. In fact, he told me to "stop being a Richard", which roughly translates to don't be a dick (short for Richard...)
I will say this, it was an amusing conversation. Rick and Joe were pretty much losing it based solely on what they could hear on my end of the conversation, which I ended by thanking the caller for listening.
Pretty sure this particular incident warrants an installment of "Randy's Rants", so be on the lookout for that.


Well, it really came as no surprise when Jeffie arrived. As a matter of fact, Azkath's abrupt departure was the first clue that trouble was on the way.
Yep, previously assumed to be shark-bait...imprisoned by Sloth, before he escaped (more on that in a bit...), Jeffie made his return to the Onslaught this past Friday night...and what a return it was...
He started parading around in his underwear (wearing a shirt, at least...), and started pelting us with empty plastic Easter eggs. And instead of fake bunny ears, he was wearing that silly dragon cap of his, which just looked really...well...
Okay, as stupid as it looked, it was pretty fucking funny, I can't deny it.
Still, he pelted us with EMPTY plastic Easter eggs! No chocolate, foiled-wrapped eggs or peanut butter cups, or Peeps (personally, I hate Peeps...), or jelly beans (can take or leave those, as well...), or...well, you get the point.
In all honesty, after getting blasted directly on the right cheek bone, I should be grateful that those eggs had nothing inside them...
Anyhoo, we proceeded to welcome him back to the show by beating the unholy fuck out of him, throwing the eggs back at him, kicking and stomping him into the ground, beating him with his own Easter basket.
Yep, welcome back, Jeffie!
So, once he was capable of movement and semi-coherent speech again, he brought us up to date on all the fun stuff that happened to him after following Joe to Florida earlier this year.
Seems that Jeffie got really bored and decided to take some Twinkies to Sloth. Now, bear in mind, at this point in time there were no Twinkies on the shelves. Oh, maybe some generic, store-brand equivalents here and there, but no real Twinkies. Jeffie managed to find an old box deep on a shelf.
And, for Sloth, this has been an EXTREMELY sensitive subject. I don't think I've ever seen anybody get so emotional over the loss of a snack cake before. The man has truly been in mourning...
So, apparently Jeffie came along with the Twinkie box, but accidentally ate them all on the way, and Sloth just lost it. Freaked out. Beat Jeffie mercilessly, and then locked him in the basement for a couple of months. 
Bear in mind, Sloth actually revealed to us that Jeffie was in his basement just a mere three weeks ago when he dropped in for Ayrdaea's birthday.
So, the following week was when Azkatch received the cryptic message stating simply..."I got out..."
And, that brings us up to date, with Jeffie officially returned to the Onslaught. With that being said, anybody with a secure basement can now feel free to abduct him again, it won't be necessary to inform us of where you're keeping him. 
Awwwww, Hell, who am I kidding...we're pretty well stuck with him again...




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March 23, 2013 - Tormenting Randy with ABBA



Playlist

    Queensryche - Deliverance 
Avenger Of Blood - Aggressive Psychotic Behavior 
Robot Lords Of Tokyo - Night Songs 
Stryper - Soldiers Under Command 

Anthrax - Keep On Runnin' 
NightShade - Betrayal 
Mudhoney - In This Rubber Tomb 
Atrocity - Haunted By Demons 

Iron Maiden - Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son 
Sepultura - Procreation (Of The Wicked) 
Cauldron - Nitebreaker 
Dark Sermon - Hounds 
Spiritual Beggars - Too Old To Die Young 

Hypocrisy - Soldier Of Fortune 
Jungle Rot - I Am Hatred 
Lost Society - Diary Of A Thrashman 
Byzantine - Soul Eraser 
Black Star Riders - Bound For Glory 

Torture Killer - March Of Death 
Throw The Fight - Breaking The Cycle 
Memory Garden - The King Of The Dead 
Orchid - Wizard Of War 
Sebastian Bach - Slave To The Grind 

Clutch - The Face 
Hope For The Dying - Reformation 
Horseface - The Nile 
Horde Of Torment - As I Lay Dying 
Avenger Of Blood - Centuries Of Hell 
Kvelertak - Tordenbrak 
Hatchet - Screams Of The Night 

Ghoultown - Drink With The Living Dead 
Grim Reaper - See You In Hell 
Anthrax - Jailbreak 
Cathedral - Cathedral Of The Damned 
The Accused - I'd Love To Change The World 

Blowsight - We All Fall Down 
Heaven Shall Burn - Hunters will Be Hunted 
Warbreath - Hell Fire 
Pretty Maids - Sad To See You Suffer 
NightShade - Creepy Crawlies 
While She Sleeps - Death Toll 
Crossfaith - Monolith 

Sevendust - Till Death 
Million Dollar Reload - Blow Me Away 
Black Actress - Mopar 
Lordi - I Luv Ugly 
Mortillery - Angel Witch 
Avenger Of Blood - Spawn Of Evil 
Hatriot - Suicide Run 

Krokus - Dirty Dynamite 
_________________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf

A highly sarcastic discussion centering on Iron Maiden occupied the early portion of the evening.

This coincided, of course, with the official release of Maiden England on DVD. Pretty sure this is the first time this concert video has been available on DVD in the states, and as such, the package is pretty damned solid. You not only get the original concert, but there are bonus performances from the same show that didn't make it to the original VHS release.

On top of that there's also a second disc which features The History Of Iron Maiden, Part 3 (1986-1988), not to mention 12 Wasted Years (a 2012 remaster of the late 80's documentary, also on DVD for the first time), as well as a number of remastered promo videos from that time period.

And that's not all! There's also a live CD version of the show available!

And, seemingly, this is part of the problem. Over-saturation of Iron Maiden in the metal market! 

Now, as Maiden fans, Josh and I are perfectly cool with this. I'm actually chomping at the bit to get my hands on it. Joe, on the other hand, has pretty much had enough. That, however, didn't stop the rest of us from teasing him on the air about how much he LOVES Iron Maiden. As a matter of fact, he likes the new live CD so much, he played "Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son" within the first hour of the Onslaught! I mean, that's the LONGEST track on the setlist, so he must really, REALLY dig that tune!

Further discussion of my supposed upcoming expression of Bronie-ism on No Pants Day was held, and I actually did confess to researching this bizarre phenomenon, just a little bit.

Personally, I just don't get it...

I mean, I don't have an issue when it comes to adults liking cartoons. Personally, I still love most of the old classics, Loony Toons in particular. Some of that stuff just never gets old. Flintstones, Scooby Doo, Underdog, Josie And The Pussycats, Tom And Jerry...all good, still love them, no problem.

Bronie's are an odd bunch, though. I mean, if you like the cartoons, fine, but holy shit, the money people are willing to drop so they can have a Rainbow Dash wig? Or socks? Or lunch boxes? Or a fucking $65.00 zipper hoodie? Really? Adult males are into this crap? 

Seriously, you have my assurance that No Pants Day is going to be 100% Bronie-free...

The only other major item of note that I can remember is hearing ABBA playing during most of the talk breaks. I mean, I KNEW I was hearing ABBA, but the rest of the guys kept saying I was crazy, and that there was no ABBA playing at all.

It all must have been too much to bear, though, as Rick finally lost it, claiming that he had heard enough, and yelling about how Abba sucked. He then came out and beat the snot out of me, throwing me around the studio like a rag doll, bludgeoning my knees with large metal pipes, and basically leaving me a bruised mess on the floor.

Now, considering who was running the sound board, I'm pretty sure it was Joe who should have received that beating. Not that I'd normally wish harm upon the guy, but I'm just saying that it certainly wasn't ME who was trying to be all deceptive and shit. As for the rest of the guys, well Hell, they were in on the joke as well, so I don't think they've got a lot of room to bitch!

Yep, definitely should have been somebody else on the other end of that beatdown...Where's Jeffie when you need him?

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