Metallic Onslaught Show Archive

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Playlist
Black Sabbath "Tomorrow's Dream"
Tesla "Cumin' Atcha Live"
AC/DC "Walk All Over You"
Motley Crue "Slice of Your Pie"
Whitesnake "Slow and Easy"

Iron Maiden "Rhime of the Ancient Mariner"
Ratt "Scene of the Crime"
Slayer "Chemical Warfare / At Darn They Sleep"
Anthrax "A Skeleton in the Closet"

Badlands "Rumblin' Train"
Guns 'n Roses "Rocket Queen"
Lita Ford "Dancin on the Edge"
Black Sabbath "Lady Evil"

Cerebral Fix "Unity for Who"
Coroner "Reborn Through Hate"
Kreator "Riot of Violence"
Ludichrist "Most People are Dicks"
Razor "Evil Invaders"

Scorpions "Speedy's Coming"
Motorhead "Stay Clean"
Judas Priest "Dissident Aggressor"
Deep Purple "Storm Bringer"
Gillan "Lucitania Express"

Vendetta "Go and Live, Stay and Die"
Destruction "Bestial Invasion"
Wargasm "Bullets and Blades"
ZnoWhite "War Machine"
Legacy "Reign of Terror"

Corrosion of Confomity "Kiss of Death"
Suicidal Tendencies "Possessed to Skate"
S.O.D. "Milk"
Dead Kennedy's "Nazi Punks Fuck Off"
Negative Approach "Nothing"
Cro-Mags "Hard Times"
DRI "I'd Rather Be Sleeping"
Fear "I Don't Care About You"
The Exploited "Anti-UK"
Black Flag "TV Party"

Kix "No Ring Around Rosie"
Faster Pussycat "Babylon"
Shotgun Messiah "SexDrugsRockN'Roll"
Ozzy Osbourne "Rock n Roll Rebel"
Def Leppard "Hello America - Live"
Cycle Sluts from Hell "I Wish You Were a Beer"

Blind Illusion "Blood Shower"
Sepultura "Troops of Doom"
Death Angel "Mistress of Pain"
Holy Moses "Dear Little Friend"
Tankard "Zombie Attack"

Megadeth "Looking Down the Cross"
Flotsam and Jetsam "Iron Tears"
Diamond Tyr "The Restless One"
Saint Chaos "Pressure"
Scorcher "More Whiskey"
Krystal Synn "We are the Ones"
Immaculate Mary "Give It All You Got"

Mercyful Fate "Nuns Have No Fun"
Dangerous Toys "Scared"
Sword "Children of Heaven"
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Recap written by Randy "MetalWulf" Smith

Not a lot in the way of hijinks for this particular show, which was very much about the music.
So, I'd celebrated my...ummmm...well....sigh...
(46th... man, is that even fucking POSSIBLE? Damn...)
birthday on Tuesday. Not my best moment to be honest, as I was down with a dose of the plague right up through Wednesday. Not the first time I'd been sick on my birthday by any stretch, kinda goes with the territory of being born pretty much right in the heart of the winter season. Still, it sucked, and made me wish more than ever that I'd been conceived in...oooh, I don't know...July...August...hell, even an OCTOBER birthday would be more fun! Halloween-themed birthday parties? FUCK YEAH!!!!
Anyhoo, I'm digressing, so let's get that train of thought back on the right track before we completely derail. We all know how horrible that can be when that happens...
 In a nutshell, by the time last night rolled around, I was feeling much better, and was more than ready to take part in the show we'd planned on having to celebrate my birthday this year.
Many months ago (like, back in August or so...), we'd discussed the possibility of doing something called a Tribute To The Past show, which is something done on The Last Exit For The Lost at least a couple of times a year. The idea is that all the music played is of the old-school variety. Nothing played that came out after 1989 is the general rule of thumb, although the rules can be prodded and twisted just a tad.
So, at the time that the idea was originally breached, it just wasn't a good time. Bad time of year, way too many new releases coming up, but we'd agreed that maybe after the first part of the new year we could give it a try. And, since we always try to do something at least a LITTLE special for each of our birthdays, I decided that I'd like to try this format for mine.
So, we did, and it went amazingly well, if you ask me. It was honestly pretty damned incredible to just sit back and toss song  and band ideas around from that time period (60's, 70's, 80's...), many times surprising ourselves with tracks we'd completely forgotten about, or (for me, at least) being exposed to bands I'd heard OF but never got to enjoy back then (Coroner, Ludachrist, Shotgun Messiah, etc..., ). I think I actually shocked Azkath by having a copy of the first Crimson Glory CD. Actually, we never did get to play anything off of that disc. I'll have to tuck it aside and bring it again on another night...
Over all, the evening was a great deal of fun for all of us. Definitely will have to try that again sometime, especially on a night when Joe will be able to participate. (He was enjoying his final evening of a Florida vacation on the night of this particular show).

Of course, that doesn't mean there wasn't a down moment or two. I admit, I was very, very bad in the relatively early portion of the show. I snuck a Guns N' Roses track ("Rocket Queen") into the mix right around the time that Azkath arrived, which earned me a beating at his hands. Not only for playing G N' R, though, but also for saying I wouldn't be attending his Last Exit For The Lost show. Seems there's going to be a rare performance by Worm Quartet at this show (which will be held next Friday night at The Haunt in Ithaca), but the truth is that Bill, Erica, and I had already purchased tickets to go to Cry To The Blind's CD release show in Rochester.
Yep, Azkath wasn't at all happy to hear that...
Well, what's done is done, and I can only hope that Worm Quartet will not completely pack it in any time soon, because I really WOULD like to see Shoebox perform at least once.
So, yeah, there was a beating in the early part of the night, with my name all over it.
Beatings I can handle, for the most part, though. What I'm really not prepared for are the series of verbal lashings that will be coming my way in two weeks. Seems that Azkath wants to have a Metallic Onslaught Roast, with me as the subject...
Yeah, maybe I'll stay home that night...I think I may feel a relapse of that plague hovering in the wings...

We celebrated Rick and Josh's birthdays this week with a Roulette show, but did it a little differently this time. More on that in a bit, though!

So, I don't know what the deal was, but somebody's got a weird sense of humor. On the lines of "Ha ha, it's the night before the full moon, so we're gonna mess with Randy some more". Now, it's been well established that I'm NOT REALLY A WOLF, dammit! I mean, don't people feel it's enough that I've had to cope with actually DYING AND BEING CLONED! Isn't that bad enough? But, noooo, once again I found myself all furry and fanged after blacking out periodically. I hope someone's having fun with all that super glue they're using as they go through all this trouble to mess with my head!
But, yeah, we had a little "Full Moon Madness" in conjunction with the birthday hijinks. It all just added to the chaos, as you'll soon see...

So, eventually Azkath arrived with Foul Mouth Girl and Kal from the Last Exit in tow. Ironically, Kal's birthday was Saturday, so he actually turned 18 while on our show! FMG was joking that we only had a limited time to take advantage of Kal before he turned "legal", but nobody was up for that kind of action.
Sorry, Kal, nothin' personal...

As far as the celebration went, Azkath decided to forego the usual array of "bullets" to be drawn, instead opting for something called the "Wheel Of Satan". Each spin resulted in a fun activity. Of course, there's a slightly different definition of "fun" on our show...

Let's see, first up we all sang "Happy Birthday"...as badly as possible! Which was pretty frickin' bad, I must say...

Next, there was a balloon squash. Kal was chosen to hold the balloon, and I was chosen to squash it on him, in whatever manner I chose. And I chose a standing, lunging maneuver that popped the balloon on the second lunge. Kal then had to endure some splashes as more balloons were handed to him. I'm happy to say that Kal didn't end up broken during this segment.

Tickle Fest was next, with a bunch of us ganging up on Josh and tickling the hell out of him. Poor guy could barely breathe when we were done with him.

This was followed by Hammer Smash with Will, which should be pretty self-explanatory. Basically, Azkath beat the snot out of Will using Thor's hammer.

Next up was Lift The Anvil. Once again, self-explanatory. I'll say this much, major kudos to Will and Joe, who both lifted that thing above their heads. I was happy to get that fucker up to knee level!

Our attempt at a Balloon Room on the Onslaught fell just a little short. We needed another hundred or so to really fill the room in question, but it was still fun. Especially when you consider we were all standing around singing "Mana Mana" while inside it. Added to the silliness nicely!

Next was the opening of the Room Of Jeffies. Yes, we were invaded not by one, not by two, but by FOUR Jeffies throughout the evening, each one dying in relatively short order, and in differing manners. And with Josh disposing of the bodies in some mysterious fashion that nobody was aware of until it was too late.
More on that later...

Rick actually volunteered for the next spin, which was Five Cane Shots. Now, I can attest to the fact that Azkath's Kendo stick is pretty damned solid, but Rick took those shots like a champ. Didn't even flinch, even as he was hit hard enough to actually break the stick...

The next spin had me dancing to MC Hammer's "You Can't Touch This". Badly, I might add. Twenty years and a hundred pounds ago I could have torn the floor up to that song, but my knees were really hating me Friday night, and I just sort of wobbled a bit. Actually, what happened next was probably for the best, because Joe started beating me with one of Jeffie's severed hands (we'd already killed a couple by this time...), and then Rick bashed me with a No Parking sign. That got me to stop. In all honesty, that pretty much knocked me senseless for a bit. Seems I had mistaken some of the green balloons for alien boobies, and I was licking them as well as making motor-boating sounds.

So, on to those Jeffie Deaths. The first one was taken out by Rick. I had actually gotten a fun, festive candy cane-shaped pinata and filled it up with enough chocolate to put us all into diabetic comas. I'd also thrown in some other...ummm...surprises...
Rick broke the pinata over Jeffie's head, spilling the chocolate onto the floor, along with four pairs of bikini briefs. Two of which I had worn for previous installments! Will got a mouthful of the infamous No Pants Day man-kini, courtesy of Azkath. Can't remember poor Kal's man-kini experience, but I personally assured him that I had NEVER worn the pair he'd been exposed to. I'd like to clarify, as well, that all pairs that had been worn prior to this show were all thoroughly laundered. No dirty skivvies were used in this segment, I assure you!

The next Jeffie was killed by, well, everybody to be honest. It was actually a Wulfie moment that took him down completely, but all were involved when it all boils down to it.

I hugged the next Jeffie to death, not really meaning to hurt him, but I guess I squeezed a little too hard, and he stumbled a bit, and proceeded to fall head-first into the anvil...

The next, and last, Jeffie had a fuse sticking out of his neck and was filled with explosives. Foul Mouth Girl got to handle this one, taking him to light outside.
On Joe's car...where Josh had stashed the rest of the Jeffie corpses...
So, the resulting explosion not only immolated Joe's car entirely, it also caused a bloody rain of Jeffie chunks to pelt the studio. Next thing we all knew, Josh was going outside and bringing in some of those chunks to feed upon. In fact, it looks like Josh and Kal found Jeffie to be more than a little tasty.
Personally, I've gotta say that Jeffie smells worse cooked than he does alive, which is saying something, so I honestly had to pass on the birthday cannibalism.
Really, not my thing... 

Listen to the Show

Pictures

Playlist
Redemption - Jane
Dream Theater - Bridges In The Sky
Rival Sons - Burn Down Los Angeles
Midnight Chaser - Awesome Party

King Diamond - Halloween
Anvil - Mad Dog
Opeth - The Devil's Orchard
Megadeth - Never Dead
Visions Of Atlantis - Change Of Tides
Iced Earth - Days Of Rage
The Elves - Four Day Creep

Sulaco - Corridor
Carnifex - A Grave To Blame
Holy Blood - Wind Of Death
As I Lay Dying - War Ensemble
Whitechapel - Strength Beyond Strength

Sulaco - It's Over Johnny
Ghoul - Blood Feast
Wizard - Hearth Eater
Riot - Whiskey Man
Cynic - Box Up My Bones

Sulaco - The Approach
BML - Thanks Jim, Thanks
Thousand Year War - Open Casket
Sincera - A Grievers Soul
Mortal Sin - Blood Of My Enemies
Warbringer - Living Weapon

Sulaco - Build And Burn
Confused Little Girl - We Got A Great Big Convoy
The Gardnerz - Lady In The Grave
The Horde Of Torment - Viral Malignance
Executioner - Victims Of Evil
Dead Horse - Reach Around

Misfits - Scream
Misfits - Cold In Hell
Entrench - Blind Illusion
Charred Walls Of The Damned - Avoid The Light
Ashes Of Your Enemy - Face Of The Flood
Diamond Plate - Pull The Trigger

Mercia - The BoomStick Shakedown
Ghost Thrower - Chemistry Sells
Skinny Puppy - Brownstone
Giant Squid - Snakehead
Kvelertak - Ordsmedar Av Rang

Charetta - Distraction
The Isotopes - Antiseptic Tank
Judas Priest - Desert Plains
Alice Cooper - He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask)
Kyng - Between The Blame
Generation Kill - Feast For The Wolves

Dub Trio - Ends Justify The Means
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Recap by The Metal Wulf

So, we returned Friday night after pre-recording the previous week. I believe Azkath and/or Jeffie took care of that show. Haven't listened to it yet...almost afraid to, to be perfectly honest.
Anyhoo...


So, on to the actual show recap!

So, in celebration of Halloween, I'd dressed as former ECW and WWE wrestler, The Blue Meanie. This came about from a discussion toward the end of summer when we were joking around about going as members of the Blue World Order (bWo). Joe suggested he could be Raven, and at the time we figured Josh could make a good Stevie Richards. Thing is, Bill could have pulled Stevie off as well, so either would have been great! I, of course, chose the Meainie, because with the right hair cut and the face paint (not to mention that I have his dance down pretty well...) I figured I'd pretty much own the costume.

And I did!

We had Chris and Brian from Sulaco in the studio, and they brought us up to date as we played some tracks from their newest release, Build And Burn. They were also kind enough to do a video interview with Rick and I.

Speaking of these interviews, you can see them on YouTube under the metalwulff page. You can also find a direct linik to that page at the main website. There you'll find all the aforementioned interviews, live videos from shows we've attended, not to mention some other crazy shit I've put up.

Jeffie, of course, was on hand. He was dressed as Azkath for Halloween, but you could still tell it was him. I mean, really, you just know...
He seemed a little confused by Bill, who was covered from head to toe in Cookie Monster attire. This meant that Bill was going as Jeffie for Halloween, by the way. Or maybe Bill had been afflicted with the dreaded Jeffie virus. Hard tellin'...
As for content, Jeffie just couldn't seem to shut up about this news feed he'd read about a fecal transplant. Kinda put the rest of us off, to be honest. I mean, I'm perfectly happy with my own poop in my own body. Don't want anybody else's poop inside me...EVER!!!
Ewwwwwww...
He also mentioned something about having a spectacular speculum, whatever that means. Probably best not to speculate...
Hmmmm...No Speculation About Jeffie's Spectacular Speculum...
Beyond that, I really don't remember much else about the evening, which is probably for the best!