Listen to the Show
Playlist
Slipknot - Disasterpiece
EdGuy - Rock Of Cashel
Girlschool - Hit & Run
L.A. Guns - Electric Gypsy
Opeth - Face In The Snow
No Redemption - Dying Day
Anvil - Mad Dog
Kyng - Pushing & Pulling
Arch/Matheos - On The Fence
Chickenfoot - Up Next
Immolation - Still Lost
Generation Kill - Walking Dead
Vangough - The Rabbit Kingdom
Tonight We Feed - Five Finger Priest Punch
Hammers Of Misfortune - Grey Wednesday
Myrath - Braving The Seas
Blizzard - 666 Angry Barbarians
Forgotten Tomb - You Can't Kill Whos Already Dead
Michael Schenker - Lover's Sinfony
Lou Reed & Metallica - The View
Bulletboys - Falling In Love
Five Finger Death Punch - Wicked Ways
Maylene And The Sons Of Disaster - Faith Healer
Immortal Souls - Nuclear Winter
Nothing Til Blood - Stands True
Kyng - Trampled Sun
Charred Walls Of The Damned - Forever Marching On
Judas Priest - Desert Plains
Fuck The Facts - Cold Hearted
Landmine Marathon - Knife From My Sleeve
Crowned By Fire - Witch In The window
Mortal Sin - Blood Of My Enemies
Isole - Black Hours
Machine Head - Be Still And Know
Mastodon - Stargasm
Dream Theater - Build Me Up, Break Me Down
Wayne Static - Chrome Nation
Warbringer - Echoes From The Void
Anthrax - Earth On Hell
The Devil Wears Prada - R.I.T.
Megadeth - Never Dead
Hull - False Priest
Sulaco - The Approach
Misfits - Land Of The Dead
Charred Walls Of The Damned - Zerospan
Insomnium - Meandering Through The Shadows
Slayer - Post Mortem
Slayer - Raining Blood
Skeletonwitch - Erased And Forgotten
Anvil - March Of The Crabs
_____________________________________
Recap by The Metal Wulf;
So, if you were tuned in this week, you know that I was ousted from
the show early. Somehow I ended up by the road with a For Free sign tied
around my neck...
Good thing Bill was passing by at around that time, 'cuz who the Hell knows where I may have ended up otherwise?
Thanks a bunch, guys, I won't forget this one...
Anyhoo,
I probably deserved it, considering I'd consumed some Zatarain's Red
Beans and Rice before the show, and the results were a little worse than
normal...
(Worse meaning that Jeffie ended up comparing the smell to dead Sea Monkeys...25-year-dead Sea Monkeys, to be precise...)
Okay,
I'm kind of a gassy guy, and yeah, everybody's right, it doesn't seem
to matter what I eat! Maybe I should just starve myself? Either that ,
or just accept things for what they are and just go for broke every
week. Maybe I'll have a whole bunch of broccoli and taco dip before the
next show!
Mmmmm...
(No worries, I'm not actually a big fan of broccoli...)
Anyway,
from a music perspective, there was a bit of a mixed bag for some of
us. I mean, Joe played "Mad Dog" by Anvil, a song I hadn't heard since
the 80's. Seriously, the last time I'd heard that song was on Bob
Appel's old show, The Rock Shop.
The good old days...
So,
yeah, that was pretty awesome. However, Joe decided that we deserved to
hear that Metallica/Lou Reed song again. Now, this collaboration has
officially been dubbed LuLu...although, as much as I love Metallica (and
I really do, don't get me wrong...), the majority of us on the
Onslaught seem to think that the name should be changed to PuPu...
Okay,
the music itself really isn't terrible. It's mostly Lou Reed's
involvement that turns this into a huge pile of shit, at least in my
book. And face it, Lars' drumming in recent years hasn't been so great.
Can't put my finger on it, but there is definitely something missing
from his old sound...
Now, as if that weren't bad enough, he also
tossed in some more Bulletboys from their recent cover album, as well as
some Michael Schenker with Robin McCauley (a little lame, I'm sad to
say, and I seem to remember that line-up of MSG actually being pretty
good...), Five Finger Death Punch (hate 'em, just don't care for this
band, never have...), and a truly awful track from Maylene and The Sons
Of Disaster, a band that Joe actually liked an album or so ago.
Oddly
enough, the best song that came out of that Set Of Pain (as I have
dubbed it...) was the Bulletboys track, a cover of Scorpions "Falling In
Love". In fact, we all agreed that Bulletboys actually IMPROVED on the
original.
(Honestly, not that big of a feat, if you ask me, and I'm actually a fan of the Scorps...)
Redemption
for this set came a little later, as Joe played some Charred Walls Of
The Damned, which features former Judas Priest vocalist Tim "Ripper"
Owens, and was pretty freakin' good! He also backed that up with some
classic Priest in the form of "Desert Plains", so the night really
wasn't a complete bust!
On to the usual, non-musicall insanity:
Jeffie
showed up with FMG, as well as Justjoe (from The Last Exit For The
Lost). Seems it was Justjoe's birthday, and we all got to sing "Happy
Birthday" for him!
As we all beat and kicked him into submission...
(Seriously, we clubbed him like a baby seal!)
We
didn't have any water to revive him, but there was a big ol' bucket of
cheese balls that he'd brought along! Oddly enough, pouring them on top
of his head seemed to help.
Go figure...
It was
shortly after this that I was forcibly ejected to the side of the road
with a For Free sign tied around my neck, so from there, I've no clue
what happened...
Recap by Fire Eater Wizard;
Jeffie arrived with Just Joe in tow. It was Just Joe's birthday! Jeffie said that, instead of
giving Just Joe birthday spankings, they should all sing "Happy Birthday" to him... While they all gave him a brutal beat down throughout the
entire song, which they all did. Just Joe wasn't too happy with this
birthday greeting for some reason. Next Jeffie said he had a new fun game
for them all to play... It was called Yearbook. Jeffie would give a
category of "who is most likely to...", and everyone would give their vote
for the person, there, or not there, that they thought best fit. So that
went on for a while, and they voted on stuff like who was the most likely
to have sex and not know it, who was the most likely to get set on fire,
the most likely to fall off a roof, to get really drunk and tear someone's
head off in a frenzied rage in a mosh pit, things like that. Then Jeffie
brought back a feature from almost a decade ago, where he tells us what he
did on each day of the past week, only, in Jeffie's week, there is no
Monday, he says Sunday lasts for two days. Dumbass! So Jeffie did things
during this past week like get naked and see how long it took someone to
start screaming (he claimed it took a bit over five minutes, but I, and no
one else, believes that, we're all sure it took WAAAAAYYY less time than
that, more like five seconds, and even that's a stretch!), go kite flying,
walk on a beach. Then Jeffie asked Just Joe to tell us what he had done
during the week... And, with the exception of his going to The Last Exit
For The Lost radio program, where he is a regular co-host, from midnight to
six A.M., Saturday night into Sunday mornings, all of the rest of his days
were exactly the same... He worked, he took care of his spawn, he slept. Oh
yeah, one of the days, between work, the spawn, and sleep, he did something
really different... He took a nap. Everyone pointed out to him how much his
life sucked. Just Joe became depressed and was pouting. Jeffie told Just
Joe that The Demon Azkath had told him what he needed to do to make Just
Joe feel better, that he had something for him that he would really like...
It was a board, covered in barbed wire. Jeffie said that Azkath had told
him that he needed to body slam Just Joe onto it, that that would make Just
Joe feel MUCH BETTER! Just Joe seemed somewhat doubtful that this would
make him feel better, but Jeffie insisted that it would. He body slammed
Just Joe onto the board. Just Joe's butt and crotch were firmly impaled on
the barbed wire. The screams of agony were quite something to behold, and
went on and on! Jeffie kept pushing Just Joe down onto the barbed wire,
making him scream more. Jeffie kept asking Just Joe which way he should
push. Just Joe shrieked not to push at all. Everyone explained to Jeffie
that he needed to get Just Joe's butt and crotch off the barbed wire.
Finally, after much agonized howling, Just Joe was free. It came out that
Azkath had told Jeffie to do that as pay back from when, a couple weeks
back, on The Last Exit For The Lost, Just Joe, and Shane, had teamed up to
blind side him, causing him to be impaled on the barbed wire board by Just
Joe, after Shane, who had been supposed to be providing cometary of the
match, had clobbered him from behind with a metal sign. So this had been
his revenge on Just Joe. Jeffie asked Just Joe if he felt better now, like
he was supposed to. Dumbass! Just Joe said no, he felt even worse, much
worse! Jeffie asked what would make him feel better? Just Joe said a hug
from Rick would, because he said he now thought of Rick as his new Dave,
Dave being Just Joe's good friend. Rick actually did agree to hug Just Joe,
and hug him nicely, not like in a strangle hug or anything, and it actually
was helping Just Joe feel better... Until Rick smacked Just Joe across the
face, which Rick said he had done because Just Joe had wiped bodily fluids,
fluids from the barbed wire experience, on him. Just Joe was still feeling
quite miserable. Jeffie told Just Joe he knew of something that would make
him feel better, something he would really like, and, he promised, it had
absolutely nothing to do with barbed wire... They would tickle Josh! Which
they proceeded to do. That finally made Just Joe feel better and happy
after what had been pretty much a real bummer of a birthday for him, what
with the brutal beat down at the beginning of the night, then finding out
just how boring his life is, and how much it sucks, then the excruciating
pain of having his crotch and butt torn up on the barbed wire, and topped
off by being slapped by Rick, even if that last one was due to his own
stupidity. Just Joe said he really liked tickling Josh, and was going to do
it some more. They tickled Josh 'til his face was purple, and he was about
suffocated. So Josh was the sacrifice to salvage something of Just Joe's
birthday for him, and bring some happiness into what had not been a very
happy birthday for him at all. Sorry, Josh, I guess you took one for the
team there.
Showing posts with label ass. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ass. Show all posts
June 11, 2011 - Joe Marro
Listen to the Show;
http://www.metalliconslaught.com/11/06-11.m3u
Playlist Below...
Recap by Randy aka MetalWulf aka Wulfie aka MetalHoax aka Hoaxie...phew...
This was one of those nights where the stupidity level went completely off the charts. I honestly don't know where to begin with this...
Let's see...Joe Marro joined us in the studio for his first visit in just a hair over a year. Our young guitar virtuoso seems to be doing well, although things with his previous band, Paradyme, kinda fell through. Luckily we've got some recordings that came from that particular meeting of the musical minds, and we've been playing some of them over the past couple of weeks. Joe's got other things goin' on, though, so there's no worry of him falling off the face of the planet, musically speaking. He'll be performing with In The Presence Of Enemies, part of a show that is headlined by Animals As Leaders, and takes place at Mohawk Palace in Buffalo, NY on July 18. He's also still contributing to Marrotech, which you can find right here on good ol' Facebook as well as MySpace. Good places to take a listen to Joe's work, to be honest. The kid is pretty damned phenomenal.
So much for the serious portion of the show!
Seriously, things deteriorated very quickly on this particular evening. I mean, there's a perfectly good reason why we call our little section of the studio "The Stupid Room". It has more than earned that name, and probably long before it was ever dubbed as such. But there's stupid, and then there's STOOOOOOPIIIIID....
Bill's roommate Greg was briefly mentioned. Now, Greg was known as Dude On Couch (D.O.C. for short...) until Bill's previous roommate got the boot. Now Dude On Couch has his own room, so he's now known as Dude OFF Couch (so as to still keep the D.O.C. nickname...) Somehow this not only led to the mentioning of how I have a Moose On Couch (literally, a stuffed moose that was a door prize at a Christmas party many years ago...). A photo of that moose can now be seen on the Metallic Onslaught's Facebook page...
Now, that, on it's own, wasn't so terrible. It wasn't until Josh said something about DudeOnCouch.com that it got inappropriate. Yeah, we've got our minds firmly entrenched in the gutter, so of course we all envisioned dudes on their couches, in front of webcams...
Bleah...
That officially falls under the category of things that we should never mention on the show, ever again...
So, it was established that it was Will Polson's (aka Shades) birthday, and somewhere along the line I got nominated to be the one to administer the required number of birthday spankings. A mentally scarring process, I would much rather have left it all to Lindsey, who is dating Will. Problem is, they both would have enjoyed it too much, so it fell on me to the the deed...
Something about using Astro-Glide had been mentioned, which prompted me to state that were I to use that while spanking Will, I would likely end up with my arm up his ass to my elbow, and then we could have a puppet show on the Onslaught...
Totally, TOTALLY, unnecessary...
Anyhoo, Will got the required number of spankings, and then some. I don't know who was more damaged in the end, to be perfectly honest.
So, throughout the evening we'd been prompting listeners to "Like" our Facebook page. In recent weeks we've had a major increase in our numbers, and we had just cracked the 600 mark.
Now, understand that just three weeks prior, just before Finger Lakes Metal Fest, we were at 485. By the time we went off the air on the most recent edition of the show, we had hit 612. We were aiming for 666 by the end of the night, but that's still almost 130 new fans in three weeks time!
I'd also like to mention that Joe Marro offered to shave all the hair from his body if we reached our goal of 666. I'd almost have to say that we're probably just as glad that we didnt' have to endure that...
A number of us, particularly Rick, Joe Marro, and myself, were experiencing some gassiness. Now, if you're a regular listener, this should really not come as anything remotely close to a surprise, but thigs went way off kilter in that regard this week. Seriously, the smell was almost beyond unbearable at times. It was frequently mentioned that underwear should probably be inspected for poo fragments.
Now, I don't know why this popped in my head, but the subject of poo got me thinking of something I'd pondered while watching "America's Got Talent". I even mentioned this on the show.
For those unfamiliar with G.G. Allin, here's a little summary: Part punk performer, part performance artist, all disgusting. The guy was infamous for crapping on stage, rolling in it, and throwing it into the crowd. I'm pretty sure he may have even tasted and spit poo at certain junctures... Anyhoo, G.G. was also famous for promising to kill himself onstage someday, and suggesting he may take a "lucky" fan or two with him. Mr. Allin died of a heroin overdose before anything like that could happen. He may or may not have been covered in his own feces at the time...
Anyway, while watching America's Got Talent this week, I'd gotten to wondering how the judges would have reacted to G.G. Allin if he'd lived long enough to audition for such a show. Really, just picture the reactions of Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne, and Howie Mandell. ESPECIALLY Howie Mandel, who is a notorious germophobe.
C'mon, tell me that doesn't just tickle your funny bone...
In the end, one of those nights where we laughed long, loud, and frequently.
And to be completely honest, those really are the BEST nights!
Playlist;
Rhapsody Of Fire - Ghosts Of Forgotten Worlds
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes - I've Done Everything For You
Trivium - In Waves
Within The Ruins - Carry On Wayward Son
Twisted Sister - You Can't Stop Rock 'N' Roll
Twisted Sister - Under The Blade
Who Cares - Out Of My Mind
Karma To Burn - The Cynics
Pyramaze - The Bone Carver
Cypherseer - Aftermass
Saxon - Hammer Of The Gods
The Muggs - Blood Meridian
Warrant - Cocaine Freight Train
TYR - I
Black Stone Cherry - Change
Alestorm - Death Throes Of the Terrorsquid
Morbid Angel - Beauty Meets Beast
Sepulura - Relentless
Herder - Heading South
Othin - Approaching Darkness
Spellcaster - Spellcaster
Paradyme - Distorted Reality
Job For A Cowboy - Execution Parade
Devin Townsend Project - Planet Of The Apes
Arch Enemy - The Book Of Heavy Metal
Order Of The Dead - Stab
Slayer - Behind The Crooked Cross
Cry To The Blind - Better Than Me
Nine Round - Soldier
Fleshburn - Amongst The Dead
Prong - Beg To Differ
Deceased - The Traumatic
In Solitude - Demons
Tombs - Bloodletters
INC - If I Were President
Black Sabbath - Digital Bitch
Thorr-Axe - Dragon King
The Black Dahlia Murder - On Stirring Seas Of Salted Blood
Ozzy Osbourne - No Bone Movies
Ozzy Osbourne - Steal Away (The Night)
The Rods - Fight Fire With Fire
Black'N Blue - Candy
Black Tide - Walking Dead Man
Black Country Communion - Man In The Middle
Unexpect - Silence This Parasite
IKILLYA - Razorblades
Vanna - I, The Remover
A Pale Horse Named Death - When Crows Decend Upon You
http://www.metalliconslaught.com/11/06-11.m3u
Playlist Below...
Recap by Randy aka MetalWulf aka Wulfie aka MetalHoax aka Hoaxie...phew...
This was one of those nights where the stupidity level went completely off the charts. I honestly don't know where to begin with this...
Let's see...Joe Marro joined us in the studio for his first visit in just a hair over a year. Our young guitar virtuoso seems to be doing well, although things with his previous band, Paradyme, kinda fell through. Luckily we've got some recordings that came from that particular meeting of the musical minds, and we've been playing some of them over the past couple of weeks. Joe's got other things goin' on, though, so there's no worry of him falling off the face of the planet, musically speaking. He'll be performing with In The Presence Of Enemies, part of a show that is headlined by Animals As Leaders, and takes place at Mohawk Palace in Buffalo, NY on July 18. He's also still contributing to Marrotech, which you can find right here on good ol' Facebook as well as MySpace. Good places to take a listen to Joe's work, to be honest. The kid is pretty damned phenomenal.
So much for the serious portion of the show!
Seriously, things deteriorated very quickly on this particular evening. I mean, there's a perfectly good reason why we call our little section of the studio "The Stupid Room". It has more than earned that name, and probably long before it was ever dubbed as such. But there's stupid, and then there's STOOOOOOPIIIIID....
Bill's roommate Greg was briefly mentioned. Now, Greg was known as Dude On Couch (D.O.C. for short...) until Bill's previous roommate got the boot. Now Dude On Couch has his own room, so he's now known as Dude OFF Couch (so as to still keep the D.O.C. nickname...) Somehow this not only led to the mentioning of how I have a Moose On Couch (literally, a stuffed moose that was a door prize at a Christmas party many years ago...). A photo of that moose can now be seen on the Metallic Onslaught's Facebook page...
Now, that, on it's own, wasn't so terrible. It wasn't until Josh said something about DudeOnCouch.com that it got inappropriate. Yeah, we've got our minds firmly entrenched in the gutter, so of course we all envisioned dudes on their couches, in front of webcams...
Bleah...
That officially falls under the category of things that we should never mention on the show, ever again...
So, it was established that it was Will Polson's (aka Shades) birthday, and somewhere along the line I got nominated to be the one to administer the required number of birthday spankings. A mentally scarring process, I would much rather have left it all to Lindsey, who is dating Will. Problem is, they both would have enjoyed it too much, so it fell on me to the the deed...
Something about using Astro-Glide had been mentioned, which prompted me to state that were I to use that while spanking Will, I would likely end up with my arm up his ass to my elbow, and then we could have a puppet show on the Onslaught...
Totally, TOTALLY, unnecessary...
Anyhoo, Will got the required number of spankings, and then some. I don't know who was more damaged in the end, to be perfectly honest.
So, throughout the evening we'd been prompting listeners to "Like" our Facebook page. In recent weeks we've had a major increase in our numbers, and we had just cracked the 600 mark.
Now, understand that just three weeks prior, just before Finger Lakes Metal Fest, we were at 485. By the time we went off the air on the most recent edition of the show, we had hit 612. We were aiming for 666 by the end of the night, but that's still almost 130 new fans in three weeks time!
I'd also like to mention that Joe Marro offered to shave all the hair from his body if we reached our goal of 666. I'd almost have to say that we're probably just as glad that we didnt' have to endure that...
A number of us, particularly Rick, Joe Marro, and myself, were experiencing some gassiness. Now, if you're a regular listener, this should really not come as anything remotely close to a surprise, but thigs went way off kilter in that regard this week. Seriously, the smell was almost beyond unbearable at times. It was frequently mentioned that underwear should probably be inspected for poo fragments.
Now, I don't know why this popped in my head, but the subject of poo got me thinking of something I'd pondered while watching "America's Got Talent". I even mentioned this on the show.
For those unfamiliar with G.G. Allin, here's a little summary: Part punk performer, part performance artist, all disgusting. The guy was infamous for crapping on stage, rolling in it, and throwing it into the crowd. I'm pretty sure he may have even tasted and spit poo at certain junctures... Anyhoo, G.G. was also famous for promising to kill himself onstage someday, and suggesting he may take a "lucky" fan or two with him. Mr. Allin died of a heroin overdose before anything like that could happen. He may or may not have been covered in his own feces at the time...
Anyway, while watching America's Got Talent this week, I'd gotten to wondering how the judges would have reacted to G.G. Allin if he'd lived long enough to audition for such a show. Really, just picture the reactions of Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne, and Howie Mandell. ESPECIALLY Howie Mandel, who is a notorious germophobe.
C'mon, tell me that doesn't just tickle your funny bone...
In the end, one of those nights where we laughed long, loud, and frequently.
And to be completely honest, those really are the BEST nights!
Playlist;
Rhapsody Of Fire - Ghosts Of Forgotten Worlds
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes - I've Done Everything For You
Trivium - In Waves
Within The Ruins - Carry On Wayward Son
Twisted Sister - You Can't Stop Rock 'N' Roll
Twisted Sister - Under The Blade
Who Cares - Out Of My Mind
Karma To Burn - The Cynics
Pyramaze - The Bone Carver
Cypherseer - Aftermass
Saxon - Hammer Of The Gods
The Muggs - Blood Meridian
Warrant - Cocaine Freight Train
TYR - I
Black Stone Cherry - Change
Alestorm - Death Throes Of the Terrorsquid
Morbid Angel - Beauty Meets Beast
Sepulura - Relentless
Herder - Heading South
Othin - Approaching Darkness
Spellcaster - Spellcaster
Paradyme - Distorted Reality
Job For A Cowboy - Execution Parade
Devin Townsend Project - Planet Of The Apes
Arch Enemy - The Book Of Heavy Metal
Order Of The Dead - Stab
Slayer - Behind The Crooked Cross
Cry To The Blind - Better Than Me
Nine Round - Soldier
Fleshburn - Amongst The Dead
Prong - Beg To Differ
Deceased - The Traumatic
In Solitude - Demons
Tombs - Bloodletters
INC - If I Were President
Black Sabbath - Digital Bitch
Thorr-Axe - Dragon King
The Black Dahlia Murder - On Stirring Seas Of Salted Blood
Ozzy Osbourne - No Bone Movies
Ozzy Osbourne - Steal Away (The Night)
The Rods - Fight Fire With Fire
Black'N Blue - Candy
Black Tide - Walking Dead Man
Black Country Communion - Man In The Middle
Unexpect - Silence This Parasite
IKILLYA - Razorblades
Vanna - I, The Remover
A Pale Horse Named Death - When Crows Decend Upon You
May 7, 2011 - No Pants Day!!!
Listen to the Show;
http://www.metalliconslaught.com/11/05-07.m3u
Playlist Below...
Pictures
Recap by Randy, aka Wulfie, who is really, REEEEAAAALLLLLY sorry...
(Truly, you have no idea...)
Seeing as how this edition was our annual celebration of No Pants Day, I'm going to break this recap into two parts. Serious (yeah, believe it or not, amidst the chaos there was time for such a thing!) and Seriously Fucked Up...
Part 1. Serious
So, an early discussion centered around an upcoming release from King Kobra, their first new music in many years. This next disc is going to feature Paul Shortino (formerly of Rough Cutt) on vocals, replacing Mark Free, known these days as Marcie Free, after undergoing a sex change. (No disrespect meant, just statin' the facts.)
Actually, there's an amusing parallel between both bands. Both had very strong releases for their debut albums (King Kobra had "Ready To Strike" while Rough Cutt's was self-titled), and both had really, REEEEAAAALLLY disappointing follow-up albums ("Rough Cutt Wants You" and King Kobra's "Thrill Of A Lifetime").
Now, Mark Free sounded damned good on "Ready To Strike", and their single, "Hunger", has been a personal favorite of mine for many years, but I got to see Rough Cutt when they opened for Dio back in 1985, and I can personally assure you that Paul Shortino has got some of the best pipes in the business, live or otherwise.
Yet Joe seemed to be implying that he preferred Mark Free, and that's quite alright. I quite enjoyed that little bit of banter, and wish we had time for more discussions along those lines.
So, later on, somewhere in the random chaos that is No Pants Day, we had time to have a few words with Joe Lupia, who had last joined us in the studio while he was a member of Amelia Is Dead, sadly a now-defunct outfit.
Still, Joe remains busy and was more than happy to share some news about his current project, God Astray, and we were more than happy to play some tracks!
Of course, there was also the discussion of whether or not Jeffie would show. Azkath had flatly refused to show up on No Pants Day, and really, who can blame the guy? So, yeah, the debate was on, and sure enough, Jeffie showed up, bringing us to...
Part 2: Seriously Fucked Up
Yes, believe it or not, Jeffie had arrived, defying all logic. I mean, the guy is supposed to be dead as a doornail, after all, killed by my hand, torn asunder, shredded into bloody chunks of flesh and grosser things...
But, it seems this is a DIFFERENT Jeffie...
Okay, since when is there more than one Jeffie active at a given time? After I killed what I thought was the last Jeffie, Azkath INSISTED that he wouldn't make any more, so where in the Nine Frickin' Hells did this one come from? I mean, apparently it's been traveling through time, but did it exist before or after I killed what I thought was the final Jeffie? So many questions, and no real answers forthcoming. And of course, he'll be back...
Dammit...
Just Joe and Foul Mouth Girl were both on hand. Wouldn't be No Pants Day without either of them, and we hadn't had FMG in studio in a few weeks. We miss her when she's not there.
Just Joe was sporting layers of underwear, sort of a throwback to FMG last year, and far less alluring, I must say. Hey, for my part I was sporting a pair of black cut-offs, perfectly within the domain of No Pants Day reason. Bill was in his boxers AND a bath robe, Will (Shades) was in a pair of tuxedo boxers, and Lindsey was in a little black nightie, very cute, and perfectly acceptable.
Of course, carnage ensued very quickly. Befiore I knew it, and at Joe's suggestion, I was subjected to the indignity of a Bronco Buster from Just Joe, with a little help from Jeffie. I wasn't overly thrilled by the prospect of having somebody's (ANYBODY'S...) package that close to my face, so it was a mentally painful moment.
At some point, Jeffie and Just Joe thought I should give our long-suffering host, Joe Wyatt, a Rikishi-style Stink Face to make up for him suggesting the Bronco Buster. So, I stripped down to my my AC/DC boxers. As it turned out, it was Jeffie and Just Joe on the receiving end of their own respective Stink Faces, and I've gotta tell ya, THAT WAS FUN!!! I made sure they got a good idea of what I'd had for dinner the night before, you'd best believe it! I'll bet their still gargling!
So, from there, Jeffie carried out this big suitcase that was full of women's underwear. FMG seemed to think some of it looked pretty familiar, and one pair in particular I recognized from last year. These were all going on Jeffie's head, much to FMG's dismay. As a matter of fact, she showed Jeffie just how dismayed she was when she proceeded to beat the piss out of him. We, of course, cheered her on.
Things got a little hazy for me following this. I remember Jeffie attacking me with wooden boards, resulting in more head trauma. Next thing I knew, I was wearing a viking helmet, as well as carrying a plastic sword and shield. Apparently some very bad things had happened up until that point, but I couldn't remember a damned thing. There was a lot of in and out of coherence from there, and each time I came back to myself, I either had the helmet on, or the sword and shieid, or some combination thereof. Chaos doesn't even describe it, to be honest...
It wasn't until the evening was over and I'd gotten home that I discovered the truly nasty nature of the evenings most disturbing event. Upon watching what was saved to YouTube via the web cam, I saw myself run around in nothing but a pair of bikini briefs, wearing the helmet, carrying the sword and shiield, and attacking both Jeffie and Just Joe as I screamed like a maniac...
Sincerely, my apologies to all who may have (let's face it, PROBABLY) suffered any undue mental distress as a result of viewing any of that. Look on the bright side, I really don't see how next year's No Pants Day celebration could be worse...
Playlist;
Pentagram - 8
Midnattsol - Spellbound
CypherSeer - From The Womb
Anvil - New Orleans Voo Doo
Cavalera Conspiracy - Blunt Force Trauma
Black 'N Blue - Candy
The Rods - Rebels Highway
Saviour - Killing Fields
Within Temptation - In The Middle Of The Night
Leaves' Eyes - Spirit's Masquerade
The Gates Of Slumber - Wretch
Here Comes The Kraken - Beverly Hell
Motherboar - Croctosquatch
Septic Flesh - Five-Pointed Star
Gates Of Slumber - Bastards Born
Red Fang - The Undertow
Kaapora - Existence And Sickness
Hope For The Dying - Perpetual Ruin
God Astray - Dark Grey
Tyr - Take Your Tyrant
Infant Sorrow - Furry Walls
Alestorm - Miget Saw
Nine Round - Lost In The Fold
The May 4th Massacre - Flag Of Separation
I.N.C. - Swallowed
Before The Dawn - Winter Within
While Heaven Wept - Saturn And Sacrifice
Deceased - Kindred Assembly
Combat - The Mutant Inside
Orange Barrel Acid - Useless
Arkona - Skal
Villian - Kamikaze
Pestilence - Malignant
Ana Kefr - Parasites
Tokyo Blade - Night Of The Blade
Diamond Head - Helpless
God Astray - Sex Poison
Hate Eternal - Hatesworn
Lowkey - Passion
Venom - Black Metal
Grave Decent - Morbid Extraction
OTEP - Fists Fall
Genitortures - Sin City
New Lows - Last Of The Rats
The Exalted PileDriver - Witch Hunt
Here Comes The Kraken - Nu Beginning
Cause For Revelation - Another Failure
Becoming The Archetype - The Magnetic Sky
The Rods - The Code
Thinning The Herd - Chill In The Air
Septic Flesh - The Undead Keep Dreaming
http://www.metalliconslaught.com/11/05-07.m3u
Playlist Below...
Pictures
Recap by Randy, aka Wulfie, who is really, REEEEAAAALLLLLY sorry...
(Truly, you have no idea...)
Seeing as how this edition was our annual celebration of No Pants Day, I'm going to break this recap into two parts. Serious (yeah, believe it or not, amidst the chaos there was time for such a thing!) and Seriously Fucked Up...
Part 1. Serious
So, an early discussion centered around an upcoming release from King Kobra, their first new music in many years. This next disc is going to feature Paul Shortino (formerly of Rough Cutt) on vocals, replacing Mark Free, known these days as Marcie Free, after undergoing a sex change. (No disrespect meant, just statin' the facts.)
Actually, there's an amusing parallel between both bands. Both had very strong releases for their debut albums (King Kobra had "Ready To Strike" while Rough Cutt's was self-titled), and both had really, REEEEAAAALLLY disappointing follow-up albums ("Rough Cutt Wants You" and King Kobra's "Thrill Of A Lifetime").
Now, Mark Free sounded damned good on "Ready To Strike", and their single, "Hunger", has been a personal favorite of mine for many years, but I got to see Rough Cutt when they opened for Dio back in 1985, and I can personally assure you that Paul Shortino has got some of the best pipes in the business, live or otherwise.
Yet Joe seemed to be implying that he preferred Mark Free, and that's quite alright. I quite enjoyed that little bit of banter, and wish we had time for more discussions along those lines.
So, later on, somewhere in the random chaos that is No Pants Day, we had time to have a few words with Joe Lupia, who had last joined us in the studio while he was a member of Amelia Is Dead, sadly a now-defunct outfit.
Still, Joe remains busy and was more than happy to share some news about his current project, God Astray, and we were more than happy to play some tracks!
Of course, there was also the discussion of whether or not Jeffie would show. Azkath had flatly refused to show up on No Pants Day, and really, who can blame the guy? So, yeah, the debate was on, and sure enough, Jeffie showed up, bringing us to...
Part 2: Seriously Fucked Up
Yes, believe it or not, Jeffie had arrived, defying all logic. I mean, the guy is supposed to be dead as a doornail, after all, killed by my hand, torn asunder, shredded into bloody chunks of flesh and grosser things...
But, it seems this is a DIFFERENT Jeffie...
Okay, since when is there more than one Jeffie active at a given time? After I killed what I thought was the last Jeffie, Azkath INSISTED that he wouldn't make any more, so where in the Nine Frickin' Hells did this one come from? I mean, apparently it's been traveling through time, but did it exist before or after I killed what I thought was the final Jeffie? So many questions, and no real answers forthcoming. And of course, he'll be back...
Dammit...
Just Joe and Foul Mouth Girl were both on hand. Wouldn't be No Pants Day without either of them, and we hadn't had FMG in studio in a few weeks. We miss her when she's not there.
Just Joe was sporting layers of underwear, sort of a throwback to FMG last year, and far less alluring, I must say. Hey, for my part I was sporting a pair of black cut-offs, perfectly within the domain of No Pants Day reason. Bill was in his boxers AND a bath robe, Will (Shades) was in a pair of tuxedo boxers, and Lindsey was in a little black nightie, very cute, and perfectly acceptable.
Of course, carnage ensued very quickly. Befiore I knew it, and at Joe's suggestion, I was subjected to the indignity of a Bronco Buster from Just Joe, with a little help from Jeffie. I wasn't overly thrilled by the prospect of having somebody's (ANYBODY'S...) package that close to my face, so it was a mentally painful moment.
At some point, Jeffie and Just Joe thought I should give our long-suffering host, Joe Wyatt, a Rikishi-style Stink Face to make up for him suggesting the Bronco Buster. So, I stripped down to my my AC/DC boxers. As it turned out, it was Jeffie and Just Joe on the receiving end of their own respective Stink Faces, and I've gotta tell ya, THAT WAS FUN!!! I made sure they got a good idea of what I'd had for dinner the night before, you'd best believe it! I'll bet their still gargling!
So, from there, Jeffie carried out this big suitcase that was full of women's underwear. FMG seemed to think some of it looked pretty familiar, and one pair in particular I recognized from last year. These were all going on Jeffie's head, much to FMG's dismay. As a matter of fact, she showed Jeffie just how dismayed she was when she proceeded to beat the piss out of him. We, of course, cheered her on.
Things got a little hazy for me following this. I remember Jeffie attacking me with wooden boards, resulting in more head trauma. Next thing I knew, I was wearing a viking helmet, as well as carrying a plastic sword and shield. Apparently some very bad things had happened up until that point, but I couldn't remember a damned thing. There was a lot of in and out of coherence from there, and each time I came back to myself, I either had the helmet on, or the sword and shieid, or some combination thereof. Chaos doesn't even describe it, to be honest...
It wasn't until the evening was over and I'd gotten home that I discovered the truly nasty nature of the evenings most disturbing event. Upon watching what was saved to YouTube via the web cam, I saw myself run around in nothing but a pair of bikini briefs, wearing the helmet, carrying the sword and shiield, and attacking both Jeffie and Just Joe as I screamed like a maniac...
Sincerely, my apologies to all who may have (let's face it, PROBABLY) suffered any undue mental distress as a result of viewing any of that. Look on the bright side, I really don't see how next year's No Pants Day celebration could be worse...
Playlist;
Pentagram - 8
Midnattsol - Spellbound
CypherSeer - From The Womb
Anvil - New Orleans Voo Doo
Cavalera Conspiracy - Blunt Force Trauma
Black 'N Blue - Candy
The Rods - Rebels Highway
Saviour - Killing Fields
Within Temptation - In The Middle Of The Night
Leaves' Eyes - Spirit's Masquerade
The Gates Of Slumber - Wretch
Here Comes The Kraken - Beverly Hell
Motherboar - Croctosquatch
Septic Flesh - Five-Pointed Star
Gates Of Slumber - Bastards Born
Red Fang - The Undertow
Kaapora - Existence And Sickness
Hope For The Dying - Perpetual Ruin
God Astray - Dark Grey
Tyr - Take Your Tyrant
Infant Sorrow - Furry Walls
Alestorm - Miget Saw
Nine Round - Lost In The Fold
The May 4th Massacre - Flag Of Separation
I.N.C. - Swallowed
Before The Dawn - Winter Within
While Heaven Wept - Saturn And Sacrifice
Deceased - Kindred Assembly
Combat - The Mutant Inside
Orange Barrel Acid - Useless
Arkona - Skal
Villian - Kamikaze
Pestilence - Malignant
Ana Kefr - Parasites
Tokyo Blade - Night Of The Blade
Diamond Head - Helpless
God Astray - Sex Poison
Hate Eternal - Hatesworn
Lowkey - Passion
Venom - Black Metal
Grave Decent - Morbid Extraction
OTEP - Fists Fall
Genitortures - Sin City
New Lows - Last Of The Rats
The Exalted PileDriver - Witch Hunt
Here Comes The Kraken - Nu Beginning
Cause For Revelation - Another Failure
Becoming The Archetype - The Magnetic Sky
The Rods - The Code
Thinning The Herd - Chill In The Air
Septic Flesh - The Undead Keep Dreaming
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