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Showing posts with label goofy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goofy. Show all posts

December 22, 2012 - End of the World!!

Listen to the Show
12-21-12 MO End of the World from Aethyric Productions on Vimeo.

Pictures

Playlist
Gary Moore - End Of The World
Def Leppard - Answer To The Master
Kiss - Take Me
Kiss - Hard Times

Hemina - Otherworldly
Stone Magnum - Grave Of Cryptic Sorrows

Doro - Revenge
T&N - Kiss Of Death
Dead On - The Matador's Nightmare
Exodus - Blacklist
Ion Vein - Fools Parade

Within Temptation - Ice Queen
Dropkick Murphys - The Boys Are Back
Heaven's Cry - Gaia's Judgement
VoiVod - Kluskap O'Kom

The Project Hate - At The Entrance To Hell's Unholy Fire
Laconist - Chaos Of A Million Flames
Omnihility - Unsummoned
Manticore - Torn Apart By Hate
Killaton - Shattered
Fight - Christmas Ride

King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas
Xanthochroid - Winter's End
Doomsday - Bring Down The Knife
Mors Principium Est. - Destroyer Of All
Swarm Of Arrows - Rustmaker

Aeon Zen - Eternal Snow
Death - Pull The Plug
Destruction - City Of Doom
CJSS - Need Of Dreams
Butcher Babies - Axe Wound

Grand Supreme Blood Court - Fed To The Boars
Daemonicus - From Alive To Dead Life
Aeon - I Wish You Death
My Dying Bride - The Poorest Waltz

Midas Touch - Accessory Before The Fact
Lawnmower Deth - Watch Out Grandma (Here Comes A Lawnmower)
Jesse Smith - Christmas With The Zombies
Devo Spice - The Christmas Season

Wintersfear - Daywalker
Hate - Solarflesh
Erupted - Dark Mistress
Overtorture - Slaves To The Atom

Sonic Reign - Daily Nightmare Injected
Recap by The Metal Wulf;
One of the crazier nights in recent memory, we were actually visited for a couple of hours by my long-lost brother Bill...or BILL!!!! as he is known on the show...
Oddly enough, I actually got thrown under the Brony bus by him, as he insisted that I have almost a fully collection of My Little Ponies! Couldn't believe that! I mean, here's the kid who grew up with a Care Bears record!
In all honesty, the only toys I currently collect are stuffed Opus penguins. Those who remember the Bloom County comic strip know what I'm speaking of. Can't help it, I'm a huge fan of that cominc, to this day. And, really, it's not much of a collection...
We also took advantage of Bill's presence to further discuss the Sound Lab, where we'd recently seen Job For A Cowboy, with the general consensus being that the place is pretty much a dive that you don't want to go to after eating Mexican food...

We also saw the return of Jeffie. Honestly, it was only a matter of time. 
He brought us up to speed, telling us of the ill-fated fishing trip in the swamp that Joe took him on. Seems that Joe had pushed Jeffie into the swamp, and took off back for civilization. Jeffie took his time in the swamp to supposedly raise an allgator and train it to attack Joe.
As a matter of fact, this alligator was supposedly lurking about the radio station on Friday night, but I'll be damned if I saw it. At one point I thought maybe I'd accidentally flushed it down the toilet, but Jeffie assured me it was a BIG gator...So, in addition to having an alligator companion, Jeffie is also supposedly a zombie again, courtesy of the voodoo priestess, Papa Shango...
Yeah, I know, none of it really makes any kind of sense. And to be honest, I can't really remember the point where things really disintegrated, causing Joe and I to team up on Jeffie by giving him multiple Pit Stops (remember the Nasty Boys? Yeah, ewwwww...)

So, sadly I have to confess that, thanks to the rumors of Armageddon on that day, I gave in and did the Pantless Santa Dance. I just couldn't resist the idea, it sounded pretty damned amusing, so I ran with it. Grinch shirt, Santa hat, silky red boxers with fuzzy white trim all done to the tune of "Skating" from the soundtrack to "A Charlie Brown Christmas"...
Yes, there will be video...
Things really got out of hand when we got Jeffie involved. Funny, really.  After all the times we've been subjected to lap dances from him, I thought for sure he'd have been cool to get a lap dance from one of us. Not so at all. As a matter of fact, by the time that Tim and I were through with him, we'd pretty much broken Jeffie. I honestly wouldn't have thought it possible...

Things really got out of hand, though, when our visit from Satan Claus went terribly wrong. I mean, here's Satan Claus, trying to convince naughty children that they'll be sorry if they can't keep it together on Christmas Day, and all of a sudden, Jeffie attacks us with a tiny little sauce pan. From there more Pit Stops were given, and then Fred took over! Yeah, Fred! As in that dirty old man persona that popped out of Jeffie earlier in the year.
Needless to say, that forced Satan Claus to cut his visit short. Honestly, after that...I think it might be a little difficult to convince him to return next year...

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December 8, 2012 - Roller Girls, Birthdays and Ponies!

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 More Photos

 Playlist

 Badlands - Winter's Call
Trouble - Tragedy Man
Troubled Horse - Another Mans Name
Orden Ogan - Angels War

CJSS - Ready
Doro - Raise Your Fist In The Air
Druid Lord - Awaken By The Dead
Earthship - Old Widow's Gloom
Mammoth Mammoth - (Up All Night) Demons To Fight

Cult Of Luna - I: The Weapon
Hatebreed - Put It To The Torch
Hanzel Und Gretyl - Ironstar Outlaws
Children Of Technology - Mayhemic Speed Anarchy

The Gates Of Slumber - Blessed Pathway To the Celestial Kingdom
Erupted - Path Of Perdition
Death - Spiritual Healing
Dimmu Borgir - The Maelstrom Mephisto
Unleashed - Odalheim

Hate - Solarflesh
The Gardnerz - Transilvanian Hunger
Daemonicus - Inhabited
Bane - Light The Black Flame
Bane - The Truth Unleashed
Type O Negative - Black No. 1

Saxon - Broken Heroes
Sacred Reich - Ignorance
Corrosion Of Conformity - Strong Medicine Too Late
Mortiferous Scorn - Bottom Feeder
Audrey Horne - There Goes A Lady
Galadriel - Still Not Dead Enough

Wednesday 13 - Halloween 13-13
Postmortem - Falling From Hell
Dr. Living Dead! - Mental Warzone
Hellbringer - Bell Of The Antichrist
Die Hard - Sanctify The Morbid
Wintersfear - Black Dolphin
Aeon - Still They Pray
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Piled Up For The Scavengers

King Diamond - At The Graves
Sepultura - Desperate Cry
Slayer - Criminally Insane
Devo Spice - In The 80's
H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society - Harley Got Devoured By The Undead
Daemonicus - Nothing But Death
Abhor - Wings Of Chaos

Triumph - When The Lights Go Down

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 Recap by The Metal Wulf

 For the most part, it was a fun evening, but things got a little frustrating for me by the time the night was over. More on that in a bit, though...

So, we were celebrating three separate birthdays, as Lance, Josh, and Rick all had them during the course of the week.

A friend of Rick's was kind enough to provide a thoroughly delicious marble cake, complete with black icing and a red Pentagram design on top. Our kind of cake, without a doubt!

We had roller derby girls on the show, this time representing the newly formed Finger Lakes Lunachicks. In fact, we were only expecting a handful of girls to visit, but what was supposed to have been three turned into expecting a few more, and by the time it was all said and done, we had fifteen ladies in the studio, all there to support their team. Pretty damned cool, I must say.

I'm personally very excited at the prospects of actually having a team to represent our region, now. I'm even happier to say that these ladies seem more than content to have me represent as the team mascot.

Can you say WarWulf?

So, the evening took a turn for the weird after the arrival of Azkath.

Yeah, the moment finally arrived when he read the stupid "earthshaking" confession that was supposely prepared by me. I had no idea what to expect, but when it was all said and done, the the crap that started spewing forth was just plain ridiculous, even for OUR show...

So, according to this prepared statement that I was supposedly "too afraid to read", I am what is called a "Bronie"...

Honestly? What the FUCK is a Bronie? ** READ THIS FOR MORE DETAILS **

Apparently, a Bronie is a guy who is a fan of the My Little Pony cartoon series as well as the line of toys.

Apparently, it even goes beyond guys just being "fans", as in some extreme cases it crosses the border into fetishism...

Now, I'm not one to judge folks based on what turns them on, within reason. Hell, I could even understand the whole cartoon character thing...a HUMAN cartoon character, that is...say, a Wilma Flintstone fetish...or a Jessica Rabbit fetish...

Get where I'm coming from?

So, with that being said, take it from me. I've NEVER known anybody who even OWNED a My Little Pony...I've NEVER seen a single episode of the series...and, I don't find the stupid toys even REMOTELY CUTE!!!

End of story, no Bronies here!

** RANDY'S CONFESSION THAT HE HAD AZKATH READ ON THE AIR **
I, Randy Smith, have something to admit to all of you. This will be hard, but I do feel that it is an important part of my personality, and something that I wish you share with all of you. It means a lot to me, and it makes me who I am. In every possible way. It may be shocking, but in time, I feel that I can convert you all. So in conclusion, I Randy Smith, don't want you to look at me THAT differently because of all this. So, that's it I guess, oh, right, forgot to tell you. I am a Brony. That's right. I LOVE My Little Pony in the very best ways. The innocence. The love. The sexiness. So please, join me in my celebration of the greatness that is My Little Pony!

So, next week will probably be relatively calm, as Josh and Rick will be attending the Killswitch Engage/Shadows Fall show in Buffalo.

Joe and I, along with Lance, will still be on hand to entertain the masses! In fact, if I remember correctly, we should even see the return of Tim Binder, who will probably be back for a few weeks. Should be a good time, so tune on in!

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December 1, 2012 - Abhor Visit

Listen to the Show

Playlist

 Black Country Communion - Afterglow
Mammoth Mammoth - Bury Me
Skalmold - Narfi
Finsterforst - Ein Lichtschein

Black Sabbath - Psychophobia
T&N - Slave To The Empire
Kiss - Wall Of Sound
Unleashed - Gathering The Battalions
My Dying Bride - Kneel Till Doomsday

Abhor - BAMFasaurus
Destruction - City Of Doom
Corrosion Of Conformity - The Vulture
Sons Of Aeon - Havoc & Catharsis

Abhor - Murder King
Maps Of War - Wake The Sheperd
Druid Lord - Baron Blood
God Seed - From The Running Of Blood

Abhor - Pathogen
Earthship - Iron Chest
Cradle Of Filth - Siding With The Titans
The Sword - Seven Sisters
Metal Church - Badlands

Venom - Black Xmas
Opium Warlords - Satan Knew My Secret Heart
Affiance - Righteous Kill
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Bow Down Before The Bloodcourt
Aeon - Die By My Hands

King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas
Mercyful Fate - Satan's Fall
U.D.O. - Up To The Limit
Baphomet - Broken Krypt
Incite - Retaliation

Bloodbound - Monstermind
CJSS - Too Hot
Death - Living Monstrosity
Troubled Horse - Don't Lie
Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Ritual Knife
Vicious Rumors - Don't Wait For Me
Paragon - Tornado
Orden Ogan - Land Of The Dead
Machine Head - Davidian

Ire Clad - Little Middle Man
Meathook Seed - My Infinity
Saturian - Aphotic
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 Recap by Fire Eater Wizard

 Rochester's Abhor joined us for a bit this week. Strongly recommend these guys, especially if you have a liking for progressive death metal. You can find them right here on Facebook, so check 'em out!

The Demon Azkath joined us once again, as Jeffie is supposedly still training his alligator to battle Joe. I'm guessing it's going to be awhile before he's ready to bring this critter to the show. As a matter of fact, I'm betting we will probably see him before he's ready to do so, since he's apparently raising this thing from a baby.

Makes you wonder how long it had been out of the egg when he found it.

Azkath DID have company this week, however, as Eric Rodriguez from Ire Clad accompanied him. Eric promptly challenged everybody on the show to arm wrestling matches, and of course we complied. Josh and I fell in quick succession, but Rick was able to hold his own for a fair chunk of time. Imagine Eric's surprise when Joe stepped up and, after some very touch and go moments, got the win! Eric is now awaiting his rematch, which may or may not ever happen.

Lessee...

I'd surprised Joe earlier in the evening by singing the chorus to an old Accept song after hearing only two or three notes of it, and this prompted Azkath to suggest we do something similar to Name That Tune, only using a selection of metal songs. I immediately jumped at the challenge. Honestly, I've just got an ear for that sort of thing, it's surprised people on a number of occasions over the years. So, bring it on, O Demon!

Further discussion about this whole Bouncy House Cake Battle thing degenerated further as somebody, (Eric I believe) suggested that Dave and I do a car wash instead. Yup, Dave and I, in our man-kini's, getting all wet and soapy.

As I recall, it was suggested that it be called "Chunkendales"...

Bunch of stuff going on next week, as we prepare to celebrate potentially up to four birthdays. Yep, Josh and Lance recently celebrated theirs, Rick's is on Saturday, and Eric's is coming up shortly as well. Apparently there will even be a pentagram cake, which is more than appropriate on a number of levels, considering it's also the holiday season!

On top of that, we'll have some girls from the recently formed Finger Lakes Lunachicks Roller Derby team, so I'm thinking that should be pretty darned cool, as well. Personally, I was glad to hear that we finally have a team to represent this particular region! Azkath also claims to have an "earthshaking announcement" to make on my behalf. Can't imagine what it's going to be, although, once again, I'm apparently supposed to know full well what it's all about.I assure you all, I am just as clueless about this as I was about the whole ridiculous "Pantsless Santa" dance thing that WON'T be happening on our End Of The World show in just over two weeks.


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November 17, 2012 - Jayne Dracula

Listen to the Show

Playlist
T&N - Into The Fire
The Sword - Eyes Of The Stormwitch
My Dying Bride - Within The Presence Of Absence
CJSS - Ready For War

King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas
Death - Genetic Reconstruction
Troubled Horse - Bring My Horses Home
Helloween - Heavy Metal (Is The Law)
Orden Ogan - Dying Paradise

Druid Lord - Witchfinder
Manowar - Black List
Morgion - Nomads Of The Dawn
Aeon - Dead Means Dead
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Circus Of Mass Torment

Sons Of Aeon - Enemy Of The Souls
Hanging Garden - Ash And Dust
Burnt Offering - Snow Death
Corrosion Of Conformity - Priest Brains
Galerna - Chemical Warfare

Dethklok - Killstardo Abominate
Pig Destroyer - The Diplomat
Incite - Feel The Flames
Axewound - Cold
All That Remains - Sing For Liberty
The Bronx - Ribcage

Doro - Rock Till Death
Neurosis - All Is Lost...In Time
The Sorrow - Dead Home
Black Country Communion - Common Man
Kiss - Long Way Down

T&N - It's Not Love
Michael Angelo Batio - Tribute To Randy
Like Moths To Flames - Some Nights
Machine Head - Halo
Tiamat - Winter Dawn

Jayne Dracula - Land Of Transilvania
Butcher Babies- Mr. Slowdeath
Herder - The Invisible Hand
A Perfect Day - Long Road To Ruin
Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Withered Hand Of Evil

Jayne Dracula - Saturn Under Sunset
Maps Of War - Prescription 666
Death - Defensive Personalities
Revocation - Maniacally Unleashed
Sacred Reich - Ignorance
Aeon - The Glowing Hate
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Recap by The Metal Wulf;

We were joined in the studio by Azriel Mordecai, former bass player for Zadoc...and The Nightmare!, now currently playing in Jayne Dracula. Hadn't hung with Az in awhile, and it was extremely cool to have him on hand to bring us up to speed.

As a matter of fact, if you were listening you got to hear Azriel come up with an idea that pretty much has made this cake battle with Dave a done deal. Yeah, I know, I've been denying for weeks that I would succumb to this silliness, but the truth of the matter is, Azriel came up with an idea of how to present this event that's just too damned amusing not to attempt.

So, let me submit this for consideration: David Gee (from The Last Exit For The Lost) and little ol' me, in a wrestling match featuring cake. This match is to take place in a Bouncy House (Azriel's idea), and with the right strings pulled, will be refereed by Crappy The Clown (of Stool and Punch Drunk Monkeys fame...or infamy...those who are familiar know where I'm comin' from...)

Seriously, I'm in, assuming we can get Crappy to referee.

Of course, it's easy for me to agree to this, because there's probably no chance in Hell we'll get this to come together anyway. So, unless some serious alignmenmt of the stars takes place, I still wouldn't hold your breath for this particular event.

Just picture the silliness in your head for now!

Let's see...

Not much else really note-worthy that I remember.

However, there was a particularly amusing discussion of the whole Hostess bankruptcy debacle that led to a further discussion of other sweet snack foods that we've liked or disliked over the years.

In a nutshell, the conversation focused on our favorite combinations of chocolate and other things...marshmallow, coconut, nuts in general...

Of course, once nuts came into the equation, the conversation proved to be an example of just how dirty our minds can get sometimes, not to mention how quicly things can just plummet into inappropriateness.

Funny...it didn't occur to me until just now that we never even brought cherries into the mix... that would have been oddly fitting, all things considered... 


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August 11, 2012 - Stone Soul Foundation

More Pictures

Listen to the Show

Playlist
Aska - Longships
Lynch Mob - Slow Drag
Watchtower - Insruments Of Random Murder
Malice - Gods Of Thunder

Banshee - Cry In The Night
Fozzy - Blood Happens
Kiss - King Of The Night Time World
Hughes/Vai - Highway Star

Tomakazi - Thomas Dolby
Hate Machine - Chainsaw Philosophy
MuckRaker - StemWinder
Testament - A Day In The Death
Epidemic - Hands Of Ruby
Letter To The Exiles - They Made Me The War Machine

D.A.M. - Left To Rot
D.A.M. - Appointment With Fear
Elisium - AGV
Dublin Death Patrol - Death Toll Rising
Fetus Stench - Severe Suffering
Drone - Deepest Red

Stone Soul Foundation - Sidewalker
The Faceless - Ten Billion Years
Over Your Threshold - Body Part Illusion
Loudness - The Power Of Truth

Stone Soul Foundation - Christian
Lynch Mob - Sucka
Tankard - Son Of A Fridge
Korpiklaani - Soil Of The Corpse
Ire Clad - Force It Down

Stone Soul Foundation - Ain't No Mystery
South Wicked - Craving For Blood
Sky Of Rage - Shape Of A Giant
Love Stricken Demise - Love And Hate
Perzonal War - Termination
A Hero A Fake - I Have A Knife
For The Fallen Dreams - Living A Lie

Striker - Terrorizer
Striker - Let It Burn
Dust Bolt - Toxic Attack
Steel Assassin - Four Stars Of Hell
Steel Assassin - Bastogne
Texas Hippie Coalition - Paw Paw Hill

Elisium - Bombshells
Aska - Message From God
MuckRaker - Haymarket Square
Your Memorial - Redirect
Bury Tomorrow - Lionheart

Hate Machine - Bring In The Butcher
The Faceless - In Solitude
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 Recap by The Metal Wulf

We were joined by three out of four members of Stone Soul Foundation on this evening, always cool to hang with these guys. They've got some local shows comin' up, one of them a mere week away at Hoopes Park in Auburn. That is also a FREE show, so if you're of a mind, and the weather isn't too crappy, you'd be doing yourself a favor by checking these guys out.

They'll also be at Bull's Run in Seneca Falls for a show that will feature both electric and acoustic performances, and you can catch that gig this Saturday night!

They also mentioned that they'd still like to do a video for their song, "Christian", and they're open for any ideas regarding that. Hit up their Facebook page if you have any suggestions!

Honestly, check them out. I can't remommend them highly enough. I know I say that a lot, but this is straight from the heart. They are a flat-out GREAT rock and roll band!

There was further discussion regarding possibilities of Josh leaving us for a teaching job outside the country. This time the job is in Spain, and he'll actually be travelling there in another week or so for the interview. If all goes well, and he accepts this job, we're just hoping he has a chance to come back and hang with us one more time before departing for a year. It would make for a Hell of an evening on the Onslaught as we gave him a going-away party he wouldn't soon forget.

No, really, I'm betting a lap dance from Jeffie would be pretty damned unforgettable...

Now, personally, I don't follow the Billboard charts all that closely, but I still find it relatively cool when a true metal band hits high. Case in point, Testament's latest (Dark Roots Of Earth) hit #12 on Billboard's Top 200. Now, like I said, I don't really follow them all that closely, but I'm pretty sure that's the hightest any Testament album has ever hit, and it just goes to show that there are a LOT of people out there who still love and support this music. Hell, I'm interested to see where it goes from here, potentially cracking the Top 10, maybe?

We had all (and I mean ALL) gathered at Suzy's in Auburn that previous Tuesday night to catch Banshee's free show, which was pretty damned killer. Just a shame the turn-out couldn't have been better. Still, Terry and the boys seemed pretty pleased to have an audience to play for, so I guess it was all good!

Sincerely, they're a great bunch of guys, and they shouldn't be missed if they come anywhere near you.

I'd mentioned something to Jeffie once again about being part frog, and he was pretty indignant when it came down to denying having any association with frogs. Yet Raven insisted that she combined his DNA with that of a frog when she cloned him the last time. I mean, the guy was eating MOTHS for cryin' out loud!

Yet, he seems to be in a very strong state of denial. He even stated that if he was part frog, he should be able to hop long distances. He proceeded to test this statement out by maneuvering my chair into the middle of the room and attempting to hop over me, with little to moderate success. And, as it frequently happens, Jeffie ended up on the wrong end of a beatdown from Joe, eventually getting tossed ass-first through a computer keyboard. The remains of which, I should stress, got used to pummel my forehead, almost resulting in flowing blood...

All in a night's work, what can I say...


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July 21, 2012 - A Typically Strange Show...

Listen to the Show

Playlist;
Tank - Justice For All
Firebird - Torn Down
Rush - Carnies
Malice - New Breed Of Godz

Deep Purple - Might Just Take Your Life
Deep Purple - Perfect Strangers
Deep Purple - Highway Star
Who Cares? - Out Of My Mind

Jorn - Ride To The Guns
Dust Bolt - Deviance
Striker - Wolf Gang
Dew-Scented - Thrown To The Lions
Desaster - Cross Me Fool
Heretic - Raise Your Fist

Banshee - Halls Of Karma
Banshee - Godless
Y&T - Forever
Gojira - This Emptiness
Fetus Stench - The Outer Island
Rumpelstiltskin Grinder - Run Through The Bastards

Judas Priestess - Saints In Hell
Dark Angel - Never To Rise Again
Bolt Thrower - War Master
Nile - The Inevitable Degradation Of Flesh
Coroner - Reborn Through Hate

Corrosive Carcass - Butchershop
Rocking Corpses - Necropolis
Radiation Sickness - Tripping In The Seas Of Madness
South Wicked - The Phantom Prince
Humangled - Needles To The Blind

Testament - Native Blood
The Company Band - Kill Screen
Hellyeah - Rage/Burn
Dew-Scented - Destined To Collapse
Periphery - Make Total Destroy
King Of Asgard - The Dispossessed

Mortillery - Mortal Artillery
Ire Clad - Hazard
Dr. Acula - Areola 51
Saint Diablo - The Monster's Real
The Contortionist - Sequential Vision

Chaosweaver - Wings Of Chaos
Nuse - Shinebox
Bonded By Blood - Show No Fear
Bury Tomorrow - Vacant Throne
Your Memorial - Cadence For A King
A Hero A Fake - Port Hole

Banshee - Floodgates Of Hell
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Recap by The Metal Wulf

With this show being just four days after their concert at Darien Lake, a few of us were still basking in the afterglow of greatness that is Iron Maiden. One of the best shows I've ever seen, easily. In all honesty, only KISS has them beat. But, of course, that's just me, and those who know me know just how big of a KISS fan I am.

Of course, I still got my ass busted for not seeing Iron Maiden back in the 80's. To be honest, though, that show was well worth the wait and I'm pretty sure I'm more appreciative of it at age 46 than I would have been at age 19.

So, besides Maiden, there were numerous things discussed throughout the evening. Things like...

The craziness of our Judas Priestess intervew getting over 1300 views in a less than a week, when it's taken our interviews with Rob Flynn (Machine Head) and Iggor Cavalera (Sepultura/Cavalera Conspiracy) months to even hit or break 1,000 views...

Pure insanity, not that I'm complaining. Those ladies were damned cool, and I'm pretty sure we'll all be waiting for them to come through our area again.

We mourned the loss of Deep Purple keyboardist Jon Jord with a brief but ass-kcking tribute, featuring some tracks that displayed some of his best work. No doubt, the guy had his own unique signature sound and style, which pretty much helped shape hard rock and heavy metal as we've come to know it. There'll never be another like him...

Speaking of departed icons, we had a little discussion regarding news of ex-Dio guitarist Vivian Campbell and his forming of a band called either Holy Dive or The Last In Line. Truth is, I've found reference to both names, but it seems Holy Diver is the more likely...

Now, this band not only features Vivian on guitar, but also features the rest of the early Dio line-up of Jimmy Bain on bass, Claude Schnell on keyboards, and Vinnie Appice on drums. Andy Freeman (former Lynch Mob vocalist and touring member of The Offspring) is said to be taking vocal respnsibilities.

All of this may sound all well and good, and I have to admit that I AM highly intrigued, but you've also got to remember that this is from the guy who referred to Ronnie James Dio as one of "the vilest people in the industry".

So, has Viv had a change of heart in the wake of losing both his parents (within a year of each other, not long before Ronnie passed), or is the guy hoping to cash in on his involvment with the earliest line-up of Dio?

I've actually got an answer to that, too. I really am going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and say that I genuinely believe that he's trying to do this for the sake of the musical legacy. I mean, come on, the guy's been with Def Leppard for over 20 years and isn't exactly starving! I highly doubt he's doing it for the cash.

I'd say this is a development that warrants more attention as time goes on!

We discussed an upcoming show at Suzy's Tavern in Auburn that will feature 80's metal act, Banshee. Gotta say, I'm glad that these guys were able to get a gig there, as they'd already had two shows fall through at the Bug Jar in Rochester. Seems that not many people remember them, but I'm hoping that the right kind of promotion, along with the fact that it's a free show, will bring out a decent crowd to check them out. Rest assured that a good chunk of the Onslaught crew will be on hand for this one!

We discussed the situation regarding Lamb Of God's Randy Blythe, who is still sitting in a Czech prison as of this writing. As I remember, something was mentioned about Rick needing to break Randy out of jail, kinda crashing through the wall like Kool Aid man.

OH YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

And then we'd all end up drinking from the head of Rick, which would be cracked open like a coconut after freeing Randy Blythe. It would be our salute to a fallen hero!

Honestly, though...don't hold your breath on that...

Josh got his balls busted harshly, as Joe finally had it sink deeply into his head that Josh is a Hall And Oates fan. Yep, that officially puts Josh in a similar category of lameness as me. Joe even demanded that Josh appear on the next show wearing a mustache like the one that John Oates used to have in the 80's. Tune in and find out how that goes!

Also in Josh news, he had a rare moment of actual funniness when he referred to Jeffie as Rubbin' McStuffins. I forget the reasons for the new nickname, but it was worth a genuine chuckle. Unfortunately, repeated usage wasn't quite as amusing, but it's given us new hope for Josh in the future! It would be pretty refreshing to have Josh known for more than being highly ticklish and for inserting his foot in his mouth (sometimes up to the knee) on a regular basis.

Go Josh!

As for Jeffie, poor Josh had forgotten to pick up his MP3 player. It now has sack marks on it, I'm pretty sure, maybe a little cheese on the corners...

Seriously, when Jeffie's around, it's ALWAYS best to be aware of the locations of your possessions. That's free advice, there, folks!

So, as he tucked Josh's belongings in awkward locations and as he tried rubbing Joe's bald spot, Jeffie explained to us how he has 500 David Hasslehoff cut-outs, something that the rest of us just could not wrap our brains around.

Who wants 500 David Hasslehoff cut-outs? I mean, the guy's become a drunken lout. The man's best days are long past. I mean, the Germans still seem to love him, but man...

Sorry, that just seemed like an odd request. I mean, I can understand a teenager wanting a poster of his from the 80's, when he was on Knight Rider. Or a young lady wanting a poster of him from his Bay Watch days, I suppose I can grasp that as well. But 500 cut-outs? Yeah, my brain is still hurting...

Oddly enough, Jeffie didn't seem to be aware of David's 80's success and seemed very interested in the idea of a talking car. I even placated him by telling him that maybe I'd rig his bus to talk.

Admittedly, not one of my brightest ideas. Hopefully he'll forget the whole thing before Friday.

There had been fairly extensive discussion regarding what has come to be known as the Jukebox In My Head. Unfortunately, this jukebox seems to be loaded with mostly crappy music, and only rarely contributes something even remotely listenable. In fact, the evening closed with a veritable medley of awfulness popping into my head and spewing forth from my mouth.

All of which led to the evening ending on a high note...well, a couple of them...literally...

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July 7, 2012 - Ire Clad



More Pictures

Listen to the Show;

Playlist;
Rhapsody - Of Michael The Archangel And Lucifer's Fall
Opium Symphony - Soul For Sale

Icarus Witch - Tragedy
Testament - True American Hate
The Company Band - House Of Capricorn
Tank - Grace Of God

Fist - I Don't Care
Death Angel - Evil Priest
Malice - chain Gang Woman
A Sound Of Thunder - Kill That Bitch

Ire Clad - Little Middle Man
Bonded By Blood - Sheperds Of Rot
Mortillery - Evil Remains

Ire Clad - Dead Alive
Gideon - Overthrow
Saint Diablo - Blood On The Bathroom Floor
Dr. Acula - Ironic Enclosure
Kreator - From Flood Into Fire

Ire Clad - Saints Of Lies
Vision Of Disorder - Loveless
Drone - Zombies In The Moshpit
Dust Bolt - March Thru Pain
Grave Digger - Rage Of The Savage Beast
Manowar - Black List
Chaosweaver - The Great Cosmic Serpent

Chasing Valor - Victorious
Ire Clad - Hazard
Pantera - Rise
Solstice - Cataclysmic Outburst
Manners - Widow Marker

Bathory - A Fine Day To Die
The Contortionist - Feedback Loop
Korpiklanni - The Steel
Holyhell - Lucifer's Warning
Oliver Dawson's Saxon - Hell In Helsinki
Delain - We Are The Others

Gojira - Pain Is A Master
Unleashed - The Hour Of Defeat
Dying Fetus - In The Trenches
40 OZ. Failure - Clawhammer
For Today - Immortal

Sanctuary - Battle Angels
Tony Iommi - No Stranger To Love
Dust Bolt - Oblivion
Jorn - Chains Around You
Lowriderz - Calling My Grave
Fear Factory - Recharger
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Recap by The Metal Wulf;
Hard to believe we're half-way through the year already, and it's been a damned good one! Loads of good music has been released already, if you know where to look (although, probably NOT Wal-Mart or Target...). Lookin' forward to lots more before the year's out!

Anyway, had a couple of representatives from Ithaca's Ire Clad (bassist Eric Rodriguez and drummer Pete Schlough) on hand this week. Damned good band, and they'll be playing at The Haunt this Friday night, as they open for Bone Jar, alongside Sanjuro Fields. Should be a good time, check 'em out if you're in a musical mood that evening.

Regrettably, Eric and Pete were still in the studio when Jeffie arrived, and unfortunately, lap dances and head lickings commenced almost immediately. Pete ended up with a pixie in his lap, while Eric ended up with...me...

All I've got to say about that is that Eric seemed to be enjoying my presence in his lap maybe just a bit much, bouncing me on his knee like I was the world's largest three year old...scary stuff, and I got the Hell outta Dodge as soon as I could.

Not that it mattered much, as Jeffie proceeded to place me in Pete's lap, which was really no fun for either of us. In fact, Pete was very verbal about his desire to have the pixie return to his lap.



Speaking of the pixie, who has been fluttering about the studio a lot in recent weeks, she offered a totally unnecessary diversion while we were discussing my attending the upcoming Journey/Pat Benatar/Loverboy show in Canandaigua next month.

I guess for some reason the guy's thought I was getting turned on about Loverboy's Get Lucky album cover (you know...Mike Reno's ass...red leather...I'm sure the ladies loved it back in the day, frankly I tried not to think about it...), and I guess the pixie thought that pressing up against the window would get me off the subject.

And it worked!

All in all, she seems pretty cool and relatively harmless, I think we'll let her stick around for a bit.

Honestly can't remember too much about Jeffie's visit outside of the fact that Kendo stick shots were delivered to both members of Ire Clad.

I'm pretty sure Eric has no nerve endings anywhere in his body, as Jeffie's shot to his back completely broke the end off of the stick. Eric didn't even flinch...

I do remember trying to ask Jeffie how he was adapting to being part frog, and I wasn't able to get a response out of him. He seemed very vague about his feelings on the subject. Quite frankly, being terrified of frogs, I thought he would have gone completely out of his mind by now...

Oh, wait...too late...

Anyhoo, I do know that before the night was over, Lance had beaten the living snot out of Jeffie, but for all practical purposes didn't seem to leave any lasting damage upon him. So, I'm guessing he'll be back in a couple of weeks.
Speaking of which, the next installment of The Metallic Onslaught will be pre-recorded. Some of us will be going to Watertown for a 2CW wrestling event, while some of us may be taking in the first night of this year's Women's Right To Rock festival right here in Seneca Falls. Three days of rockin' ladies, whether solo artists or female-fronted bands! I've had a great time at this in previous years, very much worth checking out, and it's FREE! Come on down and hang out!
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June 30, 2012 - Another New Jeffie!




Listen to the Show;

Playlist;
Kyng - Pushing And Pulling
Dream Theater - The Dark Eternal Night
Unisonic - Renegade

Tank - The War Drags Ever On
Malice - New Breed Of Godz
Jorn - I Came To Rock
Kill Devil Hill - Old Man

Rush - BU2B
Death Angel - Voracious Souls
Cradle Of Filth - Tortured Soul Asylum
Unleashed - Odalheim
Spater - Rat Salad

Testament - True American Hate
Bonded By Blood - Show No Fear
Countess - In League With Satan
As I Lay Dying - Cauterize
Primate - March of The Curmudgeon

Spater - Revenge
Ire Clad - Force It Down
Lowkey - Porcupine Cannonball
Lamb Of God - 11th Hour
Lamb Of God - Black Label

Mortillery - Without Weapons
Mortillery - Nuclear Disaster
Glass Cloud - If He Dies, He Dies
Kreator - Phantom Antichrist
Dr. Acula - Robot People From Hell
For Today - Under God

Dying Fetus - Invert The Idols
Ihsahn - The Paranoid
Fear Factory - God Eater
Gojira - The Axe
Burn Everything - Maintain Radio Silence

Icarus Witch - In The Dark
Widow Sunday - The Wave
The Company Band - House Of Capricorn
Nile - When My Wrath Is Done
Rumpelstiltskin Grinder - Dripping With Venom

Exodus - Blacklist
Manowar - House Of Death
Masi - God Promised A Paradise
Megadeth - Chosen Ones
Rammstein - Zwitter

Apple Maggot Quarantine Area - Mutant Cats From Hell
Throw The Fight - Makes Us Stronger
Single Bullet Theory - Edge Of Broken
Witchsorrow - Breaking The Lore

Krokus - Long Stick Goes Boom
Anacrusis - Sound The Alarm
________________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf

In-studio guests this week were David Henninger from Spater, along with Sean and Matty from Lowkey, as they promoted a free show at Tommy's in Newark last night. Those in attendance would have had the good fortune to be on hand as Spater recorded the show for a possible upcoming live CD. Rick Horton was among those attendees, and I'm betting he'll have some fun details for us when we all get together for the next Onslaught.

Managed to get my balls busted for pirating music, which I think was a slightly harsh judgment. I mean, come on. For those of us who came through the 80's, most of us got turned onto at least one or two bands through a little phenomenon called "tape trading". Somebody would have a copy of a bands recent release recorded on a cassette, or sometimes a compilation of a few different bands, and they'd say "Check this shit out", and you'd listen and more than likely end up buying at least one or two records from some of those artists. And then you'd hand the tape onto another friend, who would conceivably do the same. Hell, I've got a copy of Metallica's "No Life 'Til Leather" demo that probably isn't even listenable anymore, but if somebody wanted a copy, I'd do my damndest to set them up!

Of course, the quality would be...ewwww...don't even wanna think about how that's gotta sound almost thirty years after the fact...

Anyhoo, I guess my point here is that this whole "file sharing" thing isnt quite so far off the mark. Ultimately, the music is getting heard, and hopefully there are enough folks out there who still actually prefer to buy music when they hear something they genuinely like. Something was mentioned about sending me to the Olympics as part of the Diving Team, kind of a laughable idea, which is why it was brought up, of course. Hell, I suggested they should form an Olympic Cannonball Team, which I'd probably excell at, but that idea didn't exactly fly. Actually, what did fly was the idea of me being part of an Olympic Farting Team. Note, that's Farting and NOT Sharting...

Somehow we got on the topic of bath salts and it's supposed face-eating properties. That topic somehow shifted to how I should try snorting bath soap sometime.

Okay, whatever, haha, I figured I'd just run with that one. I mean, why settle on bath soap when you can have powdered bubble bath! Just set me up with a big ol' box of Mr. Bubble and we'll be golden. It'll probably make my nose run heavily, so the snot can mix with the powdery bubble bath, and each time I sneeze, bubbles can come flying from my nose, filling the room with snot-bubble goodness...

Yeah, ewwww...

Now, I'd forgotten to mention in last week's recap that not only did Jeffie die, but so did JustJoe. Both got thrown head-first into the anvil, and, well, I'm pretty sure you can guess how well that went for them. Of course, in true Jeffie tradition, there was another one handy for this week's show. Now, as you may remember, Raven made some improvements on the previous Jeffie, not actually cloning a new one, just reanimating the old one. Well, this time she cloned a fresh Jeffie, and made some improvements to the overall DNA mix. We, of course, tried to remind her that her previous improvements were really not improvements at all, but she assured us that all was good.

So, the new Jeffie, complete with frog DNA, came stumbling in.

Yes, I said FROG DNA...

Now, the newest form of Jeffie seemed far less intelligent than previous attempts, not that any of them are too far above Forrest Gump level. This one, though, was pretty damned dim. Didn't say much, outside of repeating what was spoken to him. Eventually, however, he'd come around enough to at least read upcoming show listings, so I guess there's room for further improvement, given time.

And I'll say this much, he makes for awesome pest control! Damn, he was gulping down moths like they were going out of style. Still, I kinda wish he hadn't decided he needed to cough up those moths and attempt to share them with everybody else. I would actually go so far as to say it was totally unnecessary, except for the fact that he WAS trying to feed Josh, who could possibly benefit from a small amount of protein. I mean, he pretty much survives on twigs and berries as it is...

Of course, there's that point of the evening where everything goes completely to Hell, and there's no saving us. That moment came when I decided to find out what kind of frog Raven had used in the cloning process, meaning that I sat Jeffie down in the chair and licked the top of his head...

Chaos ensued, not that I remember much beyond watching giant squirrels battling it out, and then watching a dog eat the squirrels, which made me very upset, and then the dog turned into Josh, which made me even more angry, knowing it's very unlike for Josh to eat squirrels...

Yeah, here's some free advice: If you're ever tempted to lick a clone's head to see what kind of frog DNA they contain...just...don't...really...it ain't worth it...the hallucinations...the squirrel blood...the tongue warts...none of it...

I've gotta lie down, now...


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June 23, 2012 - Joe's Birthday

More Pictures

 This show was primarily a celebration of Joe's birthday. In a way only The Metallic Onslaught could celebrate! Read the recap for more info or watch the video...  Or Listen to the Show;






 Playlist;
Opium Symphony - Soul For Sale
L.A Guns - Hollywood Forever
Rush - Wish Them Well
Candlemass - The Sound Of Dying Demons

Jorn - Live And Let Fly
Malice - Sinister Double
Manowar - Manowarriors
Fist - Thunder In Rock

Mercia - Nothing A Brick Can't Fix
Horseface - Speak
Mortillery - Despised By Blood
Chaosweaver - Wings Of Chaos
Ihsahn - Introspection

Dying Fetus - From Womb To Waste
Fear Factory - God Eater
Nile - Tribunal Of The Dead
Widow Sunday - The Wave

The Company Band - House Of Capricorn
Witchsorrow - Megiddo
Witch Mountain - Never Know

Master - Remove The Knife
Mantas - Evil Dead
Mnemic - Junkies On The Storm
Lita Ford - Living Like A Runaway
Ire Clad - Little Middle Man

Baroness - March To Sea
Rumpelstiltskin Grinder - Cold Haunting Death
Spineshank - I Am Damage
The Flower Kings - For Those About To Drown
Gojira - Planned Obsolescence
Dr. Acula - Aerola 51
The Bunny The Bear - This Isn't Why You Made Her

Rush - Headlong Flight
Tank - Hammer And Nails
Whitechapel - Dead Silence
Lowriderz - Ride Low Get High
Mortillery - Without Weapons

For Today - Fearless
Kreator - From Flood Into Fire
Manners - Hallows
Shadows Fall - Divide And Conquer
Kill Devil Hill - War Machine
Nachtblut - Dogma
The Ghost Inside - Engine 45

Diablo Swing Orchestra - Kevlar Sweethearts
Circus Maximus - Reach Within
_____________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf;

As most of you are aware, the previous week's show had been pre-recorded, as a large percentage of the Onslaught crew made their way to Rochester to see Dream Theater at the Main Street Armory in Rochester.

Kick-ass show, I must say, with highly impressive performances not only from the headliner, but also from openers, Dark Day Sunday. For those unfamiliar, this band includes Jason Bittner (Shadows Fall) on drums and Frank Aresti (Fates Warning) on guitar, and quite frankly, you should check them out. Highly recommended!

Still, it was good to be back on the Onslaught after our short little break, and we were more than happy to have members of both HorseFace and Mercia on hand. Both bands are promoting the upcoming Hickstock event, which is a two-day event being held at the Phelps Community Center on July 27th and 28th. There's a very diverse line-up of entertainment, a little something for everybody, and it sounds very much worth checking out, if you're of a mind to do so!

This particular night was actually kind of special, as it fell directly on Joe's birthday, bringing folks out of the woodwork who hadn't been around in some time. My brother Bill and his little lady, Erica, made it out for a bit, and were kind enough to drop off some awesomely delicious brownies for Joe. Good to see them both, as it's a little difficult for Bill to hang with us as much as he used to, considering his new work hours. Still, he likes his new job, and if he can only periodically drop in for a couple of hours, so be it. We appreciate it all the more when he can drop by!

Another visitor was Sloth, who I had prior knowledge of only from watching some of the old Last Exit For The Lost DVD's. To be honest, nothing...and I mean NOTHING...can "prepare" you for an evening with Sloth...

You see, it starts with this nerve-shredding screeching and squealing. I mean, there may be words intermixed with the noise, but if there are, I surely couldn't tell what most of them were. I'm pretty sure at one point there was a great deal of "RANDY! SEX!" screamed at me, to which I shrieked back, "NOOOOOOO!!!"

And, of course, Jeffie and JustJoe from The Last Exit crew were on hand to add to the carnage...

Oh yes, there was carnage...carnage the likes of which had not been seen on the show in quite some time. I'm honestly thinking not since Rick and Josh's birthday. Numerous implements of chaotic destruction were on hand for our use and/or abuse, many items of which had been previously used on the show. The anvil was back, not to mention a couple of Kendo sticks (they hurt, a lot...take it from me...), as well as lots and lots of barbed wire.

There was the traditional barbed wire board (which some of us were body surfing on...) and the barbed wire baseball bat, as well as a new item, the barbed wire BALL!

Yeah, you read that right...and seeing Sloth and Josh playing soccer with it was a sight to behold, I must say. Sloth being barefoot at the time, of course.

Also interesting to play "Hot Potato" with, I must say...and let's not forget the barbed wire Bowling!

Josh eventually kicked the ball a little too hard, completely knocking it out of shape and requiring it to be re-wound and re-bound, ultimately making it look more like a Flail than a ball...and it also made a very nice pendulum!

Somebody also broke out a staple of the Last Exit shows, this being what's known as the "Dick Bat". Literally, it's a little dildo that was expertly duct-taped to a Whiffle bat by EVD when we celebrated my birthday in 2010. Kind of an awkward item to have in the midst, to be perfectly honest.

Seriously, you'll get to see all this and more once the video is put up later this week. It should be pretty freaking memorable...

Let's see...there were also some amusing discussions throughout the evening.

One discussion centered around a letter that I personally guarantee was NOT written by me, suggesting that I was not only a Trans-sexual but perhaps also a Pan-sexual or some crazy shit like that. Not even 100% sure what that means, but I'm guessing it's a way of suggesting that I wouldn't be too particular of where I'd stick my penis...Personally, I think there's way too much speculation on what I'm doing with my penis, and maybe some jealousy that it's not being directed in certain directions? Just speculating, of course!

** Letter Supposedly NOT written by Randy aka Metal Wulf **
I, Randy Smith, on this occasion of Joe's 50th birthday, am proud to announce that I am indeed a Transvestite. And a Panvenstite. And Pansexual. That's right, I will have sex with anything and anyone. None of you are safe, well, I mean, I am slow, so you can probably run away, but if you don't want to run away, I assure you will enjoy yourself, because I am a sexual master. A Pan-sexual master at that. Just ask the broom in the other room. It was beyond satisfied. So, I now offer my special services onto you, Joe, and anyone else here, included those of you who are inanimate. Meet me in the other room during the music set and we will get down... ***

And, in the realm of things that I personally find utterly terrifying, there was talk of a new breed of spiders in India. Apparently they're closely related to tarantulas, and are pack hunters. Specifically, they've been hunting HUMANS...

So, with that being said, I don't foresee me taking any trips to India in the near (or distant, for that matter...) future. Sorry folks, ain't gonna happen...
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June 9, 2012 - a Thousand Shades of Cold Visit


Playlist;
Jorn - Ride Like The Wind
Jimmy Fallon - The Doors Sing "Reading Rainbow"
Candlemass - The Sound Of Dying Demons
Tank - Hammer And Nails

Napalm Death - Suffer The Children
Ihsahn - The Eagle And The Snake
Lowriderz - Cold Planet Earth
Malice - Stellar Masters
Grand Magus - Valhalla Rising
Circus Maximus - Burn After Reading

A Thousand Shades Of Cold - It's A God Damn Suicide
The Ghost Inside - Engine 45
Madball - Reap What You Sow
Mekong Delta - Shades Of Doom
Kreator - Death To The World

A Thousand Shades Of Cold - Bullet Train To Tokyo
Livarkahil - Wrath Of God
Chaosweaver - Infected
Whitechapel - The Night Remains
Ereb Altor - The Mistress Of Wisdom

A Thousand Shade Of Cold - Suddenly
Ancient Cross - Candle Fades
Fear Factory - New Messiah
Royal Thunder - Drown

A Thousand Shades Of Cold - Flatline
Pantera - By Demons Be Driven
Shadows Fall - Blind Faith
I, Omega - Cannibals

A Thousand Shades Of Cold - Sweet In November
For Today - Stand Defiant
Mucky Pup - Woody
Burn Everything - Vengeance And The Night Sky
Kill Devil Hill - Old Man
Awaken - My Silent Breath
L.A. Guns - Hollywood Forever

Ire Clad - Empower
Ruler - We Rule The Night
Mortillery - Voracious Undead
Diemonds - Take On The Night
Tuff - What Comes Around Goes Around

Jimmy Fallon - Neil Young Sings "Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air"
Architects (UK) - Feather Of Lead
Athiest - An Incarnation's Dream
Jorn - Live And Let Fly
Kreator - Phantom Antichrist
Marduk - Temple Of Decay

Gypsyhawk - Hedgeking
The Agonist - Everybody Wants You (dead)
Solstice - Transmogrified

Recap by The Metal Wulf;

So, not only were we joined in the studio by a band this week, we also had a visit from Will Polson, who hadn't been seen since...roughly...Rick and Josh's birthday's? Back in December?

Anyhoo...it had been quite some time, and a lot's been going on with our Will and Lindsey, not the least of which is the arrival of their first child, Austin William.

So, with that being said, I'm happy to report that Will seems to be enjoying fatherhood just fine, and that he has been fortunate enough to avoid being up to his elbows in baby poo, and has not, yet, been peed on excessively!

Poor Lindsey, on the other hand...

It was also Will's birthday, which we were woefully unprepared for. Had we remembered, I'm pretty sure some true Onslaught-style carnage could have been arranged for him. Maybe next year!

So, our guests this week were three members of Rochester hard rock act, A Thousand Shades Of Cold. Cool bunch of guys with a solid, modern sound. And yeah, they're probably not as heavy as most Onslaught listeners would like to hear, but they're still part of our local music family, and we were happy to give them some time to chill out with us and play some of their tunes.

Some points of interest regarding these guys currently are a prospective contract with UFC for use of eight of their songs. Now, most bands would be pretty thrilled to even have one song picked for this sort of thing, and for UFC to jump on eight of their tracks is pretty fucking spectacular, I'd say! Especially with the sport growing in popularity more and more, as the world slowly drifts away from the lameness that has become WWE...


 
For those who pay attention to our Facebook page (because we LOVE it when people visit our page!) , you may have noticed a very cool photograph taken by our long-suffering host, Joe Wyatt. He was able to get a pic of King Diamond done graffiti-style on the side of a train car in the Geneva, NY area. It is a truly bad-ass piece of artwork, and I strongly recommend taking a peek at the page to see it! Then, share the photo with your friends, and have them click "Like" on our page, as we're very near hitting 1,000 on Facebook, and well...we'd find that pretty damned cool!



Like how I came full-circle on that?

Joe dropped a couple of amusing tracks on us from a recently released collection of material from Jimmy Fallon. Seriously, imagine The Doors doing the Reading Rainbow theme, with Fallon sounding JUST LIKE JIM MORRISON!!! Pretty damned awesome, and it inspired me to sing a little "Riders On The Storm", which was received with absolutely no appreciation whatsoever. It did, however, inspire the first beatdown of the evening, with Josh and Will whaling away on me...

 Don't know what the Hell was up with Jeffie this week. He seemed to be suffering from moments of amnesia, only occasionally knowing who Josh and I were, and not even remotely remembering Will. And for some messed up reason Jeffie seemed to think I was a transvestite, which couldn't be further from the truth.

 Further evidence, to me at least, that Raven's "improvements" on Jeffie were not really improvements at all...

 Or WERE they?

 Hmmmmm...Jeffie doesn't remember us...possibly forgets us completely some day...doesn't show up any more...

 Okay, so there are some definite possibilities here!

In closing, I'd like to stress that next week The Metallic Onslaught is going to be pre-recorded, as some or all of us will be in Rochester for Dream Theater's show at the Main Street Armory. Those who don't make it to that may be in attendance at Suzy's in Auburn, when L.A. Guns returns for another engagement.

 If you're a fan of either band, I highly recommend getting out and enjoying them!


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May 19, 2012 - Lowkey

More Pictures

Listen to the Show;

Playlist;
L.A. Guns - Hollywood Forever
Accept - Hellfire
Candlemass - The Sound Of Dying Demons
Fates Warning - Outside Looking In

Spiders & Snakes - Public Enemy #1
Tenacious D - Low Hangin' Fruit
Great White - Shotgun Willie's
Barnoness - Take My Bones Away
A Sound Of Thunder - Murderous Horde
Confessor - Condemned

The Agonist - Dead Ocean
Miss Lava - Ride
I, Omega - Butchers
Havok - Arise
Shadows Fall - Nothing Remains

Lowkey - Forward
Ritual Of Odds - Nightmare On Elm Street
Venom - Meglomania
Cattle Decapitation - Lifestalker

Lowkey - Backstabber
Overkill - Wish You Were Dead
Prong - Eternal Heat
3 Inches Of Blood - Look Out
Solstice - Cleansed Of Impurity
Spater - Rat Salad

Diatribe - This Hell
Burn Everything - Ghost Of The Waves
The Corey Smoot Experiment - Fortunate Sun
Firewind - Few Against Many
Kill Devil Hill - Gates Of Hell

Ihsahn - The Paranoid
The Feds - Barracuda
Six Feet Under - Vampire Apocalypse
Hellish Outcast - Face Forced Down
Obituary - Burned In

Lawnmower Deth - Watch Out Granma, Here Comes A Lawnmower
Pantera - Walk
Devildriver - Pale Horse Apocalypse
Overkill - Hammerhead
Sabaton - A Lifetime Of War
Alice In Chains - Dam That River
Napalm Death - Protection Racket

Metal Duck - March Of The Metal Duck To The Duck Ponds Of Hell
Eternal Helcaraxe - We Assist Death
Septekh - Shoot Them All
Watain - Four Thrones
Diseim - Son Of The Winter
Pyramada - Mind Abuse
Undivided - Words Of Wisdom

Persist - The Daze
Shadowside - Angel With Horn
_______________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf;

So, about half-way through last week I realized that I hadn't written a recap for the previous show, and when I actually started to get down to writing it, I couldn't remember a damned thing of interest that had occurred that night. I will take a moment, though, to thank members of Stygian for coming out and hanging with us, as they talked about performing at Metal Fest and their need of a new vocalist. Any singers out there that need a band would do well to look them up, assuming they've got some range and versatility.

Moving right along, this past week was our final show before the big day. Metal Fest was upon us, and Lowkey dropped in to talk for a bit, supplying us with a brand spanking new track to be played that very evening, called "Forward". Very cool number, I must say, and those of you who came out for the event got to hear them play it live at Metal Fest! The guys were also cool enough to provide us with a brief interview, bringing us up to speed on the progress of their new album, and some upcoming live dates.



Some discussion centered on the postponing of Van Halen tour dates. Apparently there's some rumors going about that the band members aren't getting along, other sources saying that they just needed a break, and that the dates will be made up this fall. I should probably look around for some more recent updates...

There was also mention of the removal of Bill Ward from photos of Black Sabbath, which has pretty much infuriated fans worldwide, including myself. All due respect to the rest of the Sabs, but Ward deserves a lot more respect than he's been getting. He is, after all, a founding member of the band that pretty much laid the original foundations for metal as we have come to know it. As always there was a bit of craziness.

Once again I found myself in some awkward postiions, as it seemed that I was attempting to....ummm...do some bad things to Joe...Apparently I was walking around saying, "Screw the host...screw the host...", and actually attempted to do just that...And I guess I also went stark, raving mad at the mention of eight owls...in the trees...Sincerely, I'm pretty glad I don't remember these things when they happen!

The majority of the latter portion of the show centered on Josh, as it had been established that he needed an intervention. He spent a great deal of time reading on No Pants Day, which would be understandable if it was only a bunch of guys running around in their underwear, but there were scantly clad ladies running about as well. And still, Josh sat there with his nose in a book...So, it had been determined that Josh had some Catholic guilt that needed to be addressed. He needs to understand that, in this day and age, it's actually okay to admire the female form outside the boundaries of marriage. I mean, how is the guy ever going to settle down with the right lady, if he can't even pull his nose out of a book to admire her at the most crucial of moments?

Drastic steps needed to be taken, and they were!

So, just imagine Foul Mouth Girl and Raven in lots of black. Black undies, black skirts, black tights, leather AND pleather, fishnets, bondage gear, etc.

Although, I don't think one of the other methods used was really...quite necessary...

Imagine Kal from the Last Exit in his green spandex body suit, with a belt harness that contained a green dildo modeled after a massive horse penis...rough guess...about 18 to 20 inches of it...

Yeah, we didn't want to fucking see it, either, and we're all mentally scarred now because of it.

Proof positive that there ARE worse things than me in a man-kini...

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May 12, 2012 - Stygian Visit

Listen to the Show

 Playlist;
Dragonforce - Fallen World
Accept - The Galley
Iron Maiden - El Dorado

 Great White - (I've Got) Something For You
Havok - Post Mortem/Raining Blood
Tenacious D - Deth Starr
Baroness - Take My Bones Away

 Torche - Kiss Me Dudely
Lita Ford - Black Widow
Black Spiders - Easy Peasy
Candlemass - Waterwitch

 Stygian - Prophet's Warning
Shadows Fall - Blind Faith
Six Feet Under - Missing Victims
Pantera - A New Level
Kreator - Betrayer

 Stygian - Breaking Away
Spater - Brain Dead
Alice In Chains - Check My Brain
Solstice - cleansed Of Impurity
Diatribe - Control

 Stygian - The Reaper
Sleep - Holy Mountain
Bloodfeast - Face Fate
Bloodfeast - Blood Lust

 He Is Legend - Wounded
Blatant Disarray - Holy Wars...The Punishment Due
Canvas Solaris - Arc-Lite
Burn Everything - Ghost Of The Waves
Septekh - Eating The Maneater
Wretched - At the First Sign Of Rust
Emmure - Protoman

 Overkill - Drop The Hammer Down
The Burial - Salt And Wrath
Prong - Path Of Least Resistance
Cattle Decapitation - Do Not Resuscitate
Legacy Of Disorder - Punish All
Bleed The Freaks - All Is Lost

 Spater - Hot Rod Demon
Watain - Reaping Death
Royal Thunder - Drown
Hubris - Void Caller's Litany
Solitude Aeturnus - Pain

 Hung - Infernal Redeemer
Mares Of Thrace - The Pragmatist
_________________________________________

 Recap by Fire Eater Wizard;
As has been the case for the last couple of months, another of the 20 bands who would be performing at the upcoming Finger Lakes Metal Fest was featured and showcased. Two members of the band Stygian were there. Their band rocks. The Fest would be the following week, and The Metallic Onslaught would be hosting it. The Demon Azkath was there. Last weeks No Pants Day was much discussed, all the craziness, stupidity, cool stuff, and highly disturbing stuff that it had rought. We also learned that Josh is getting a drivers license, and a car, which was unsettling to everyone, and that Randy used to get picked up by men in the '80's when he tried to look glam, he was mistaken for a woman, an ugly woman, but more desperate men picked him up. Randy denies this, but we know it's true... 

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April 21, 2012 - Order of the Dead Visit


More Pictures

 Order of the Dead stop into the show, and Jeffie deals with numerous problems only he could have. More details in the recap below...

Listen to the Show;

Playlist;
Patrick Hemer - Thorn In My Flesh
Lance King - Manifest Destiny
Furyon - Wasted On You
Accept - Hellfire

Dragonforce - Give Me The Night
A Sound Of Thunder - The Nightwitch
Kyng - I Don't Believe
Tetrafusion - Cloudless
Blue Snaggletooth - Swords Of Atlantis
Break Of Reality - B.Y.O.B.

Order Of The Dead - What Humans Remain?
Unleashed - Odalheim
Cradle Of Filth - Dusk And Her Embrace
Angelus Apatrida - Blood On The Snow

Order Of The Dead - Subversion
Cannibal Corpse - Demented Aggression
War Of Ages - Unite
Blessed Curse - Something Evil
Sledge Leather - Her Father's Daughter

Order Of The Dead - Bullets
Pantera - Piss
Bleed The Freaks - Dumptruck
Torche - Sky Trials
Prong - List Of Grievances
Lawnmower Deth - Watch Out Granma, Here Comes A Lawnmower
Undivided - The Line's Been Crossed

Order Of The Dead - Stab
Overkill - Come And Get It
Overkill - Bring Me The Night
Hellyeah - War In Me
Desultor - Another World
Mpire Of Evil - Reptile
Job For A Cowboy - Fearmonger

Paradise Lost - Crucify
16 - The Sad Clown
Mares Of Thrace - The Gallwasp
Band Of Skulls - The Devil Takes Care Of His Own
Cancer Bats - Rally The Wicked

Empires Of Eden - This Time
Kissin' Dynamite - I Will Be King
Allegaeon - From The Stars Death Came
7 Horns 7 Eyes - Cycle Of Self
Huntress - Snow Witch
Black Spiders - Blood Of The Kings

Anvil - Pro Wrestling
Anvil - Doctor Kevorkian
Primal Rock Rebellion - Tortured Tone
Meshuggah - I Am Colossus
Jim Gillette - Proud To Be Loud
High On Fire - Bloody Knuckles_________________________________________

 Recap by The Metal Wulf;

 As we continue to count down the weeks leading up to the 2012 editon of the Finger Lakes Metal Fest, we were happy to once again have Order Of The Dead in the studio. Much to our surprise, the entire band was able to make it this time, and if you take a little meander over to the metalwulff YouTube page, you can watch a brand spankin' new video interview with the guys!Order Of The Dead is another of those bands that we strongly suspect are going to cause structural damage to Donselaar's before the evening is out. They are an extremely tight, brutal metal monstrosity, and if you don't believe me, by all means come on out to Clyde on May 19th. And bring a bucket, you'll need something to carry your face home in...

An early discussion centered on something that I'm at least somewhat excited over. Kinda funny, because just a couple of weeks ago I remember being surprised to see that Blink 182 were playing at the Blue Cross Arena. My first thought at the time was, "Since when do we get anything resembling a heavy rock show in Rochester these days?"

 Well, things seem to be looking up in that regard. Just when you thought the Blue Cross Arena had some kind of bug up it's ass regarding hard rock and metal shows, Van Halen actually has a show scheduled there on July 17th! Of course, my excitement was quickly replaced by confusion (more like dumb-foundedness...) when I saw the opener, and outright, insulted rage when I saw the ticket prices...Don't get me wrong, Van Halen is easily among my Top 10 favorite bands, ever. I love 'em to death, I really do. But I'll be DAMNED if I'm going to pay even the nose-bleed price for this show (approximately $60.00, with top-end tickets running to $140.00...) to watch these guys with Ky-Mani Marley as a support act!

 Okay, no disrespect to Mr. Marley or his musical heritage (his dad was Reggae legend, Bob Marley), but you know something? I fucking HATE reggae...I DESPISE it...and I can't even imagine why the guys in Van Halen would consider this a reasonable opening act. I mean, they had Kool And The Gang open for them in Buffalo, and now this? Is this some kind of statement on their opinions concerning current rock acts, because I don't honestly think they're listening to the right bands...But, that's just me. Hope everyone who goes has a good time, I sure as hell won't be there.

The rest of the evening are pretty much a blur to me, as chaos was running absolutely rampant. The guys from Order Of The Dead got to experience first hand just how crazy things get. It all began with a visit from Jeffie, which really should come as absolutely no surprise. Jeffie had been absent last week, and I was unable to pass along the late Easter gift I'd picked up for him on impulse. I thought for sure he'd like it, being the simple, child-like being he is. I mean, who can honestly look at any kind of stuffed animal and have the reaction he had? So, I showed him the utterly cute stuffed frog I'd gotten him...and he went completely out of his mind. Literally, he ran away in sheer terror!

 Okay, I have to at least plead a touch of ignorance. I had NO CLUE that Jeffie was afraid of frogs. I mean, had I known this, I might have picked up a little rabbit or lamb or duckie or some shit like that, anything but a damned frog!I did my best to ease the situation, showing Jeffie the frog up close and trying to get him to see how cute and soft and cuddly it was, but he just started laughing maniacally. Then, he started breathing heavily, and was saying, "HUSK!" over and over...

 For those not familiar with Jeffie behavior, "HUSK!" is a very, VERY bad sign, and I did the only logical thing I could think of at the time.

 I tossed that fucking frog off to the side and ran for my life!

 I didn't get far, and the resulting beatdown I received from The Ultimate Jeffie was...unpleasant...but, I've received worse, and I'll recover from that just fine.Things got worse when Jeffie just started going through personality changes like they were nothing. He was so deeply damaged by that frog that we ended up getting visits from both Pepe AND Thor, resulting in me getting Gorilla Pressed and dropped like a sack of potatoes. Hell, even Raven, tough as she is, seemed to be having a hard time dealing with each of his aspects!

 Of course, what made things worse was that Jeffie would forget about each incident, and he'd keep coming back, demanding that I give him his Easter gift, and I'd tell him, over and over, that he'd already received it, and that he kept beating me up when I'd hand it to him.

 Ultimately, the evening concluded with a completely new Jeffie personality manifesting, quite possibly one of the most disturbing ones yet. Honestly, I need a big ol' roll of Mental Floss to wipe my brain clean of the horrors we endured at the hands of Fred...Fred seems to be the ultimate "Dirty Old Man", and he doesn't exactly discriminate when it comes to forcing his attentions...guy...girl...it doesn't seem to matter.And with No Pants Day just two short weeks away, I'm thinking we really don't want this guy lurking about too much...
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