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Recap by Randy, aka Wulfie


Okay, I'm imagining that anybody who tuned in this past Friday is just as confused as any of us who are actually on the show. I can't imagine for the life of me how there can possibly be another Jeffie roaming around, but once again he dropped in. Now, bear in mind that Azkath said he wouldn't make another Jeffie to send to us, unless we actually asked for it, and also that Azkath has insisted that there can't possibly be another Jeffie running around. Well, it seems that the Demon was actually listening at the right time, and now knows that another Jeffie is on the loose!


Imagine his surprise! Maybe he'll have some insight into this phenomenon the next time he drops in!
Jeffie seemed pretty damned confused,in all honesty. He thought it was my birthday, and I had to assure him that it wasn't. Then he seemed concerned that he'd actually missed my birthday, so we had to also assure him that he had BEEN THERE on the night that we celebrated it! Oh, and he also thought he'd missed out on seeing Shoebox, meaning we had to further assure him that Shoebox had been there on that night as well!
Makes me head hurt just thinkin' about it...
So, the evening consisted of the usual goofiness one would expect when there's a Jeffie around. Poor Bill had to once again watch as his Droid became the object of a game of "What's In Jeffie's Pants", and then some of us had to endure "uncomfortable face touching", not to mention talk of Jeffie's "multi-nippular boobs".
Ugggghhh, nobody should have that image in their heads, EVER!!!!
Shades seemed a little surprised to see Jeffie, going so far as admitting that he'd slashed the tires on Akath's Car. It took him a bit to realize this was NOT Azkath.
Speaking of Shades, there seems to be something contagious about this guy. At one point, no less than four of us (Bill, Lindsey, myself, and of course, Shades) were wearing sunglasses and acting just a bit douche-baggish. Could be a phenomenon worth investigating further...
Gotta say something about Lindsey, here. Most weeks you don't hear a lot out of her, but something about Shades seems to be opening her up a bit more. I mean, this, after all, is the little lady we'd brought on to act as the "Mommy in the Stupid Room", a role that I think she felt to be a lost cause after some honest attempts at controlling the silliness. I'm guessing this is a case of "If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em..."
Really, I figured right along that it would only be a matter of time before the Stupid Room rubbed off on her!
Eventually Shades and Jeffie got into a bit of a scuffle, and it would be a little difficult to say whether or not there was a clear winner. I was just as glad not to get caught up in the middle of it, to be honest...
Actually, I was thinking it was nice to have a couple of weeks where I didn't suffer any sort of trauma, especially to my head, which has been taking some hefty shots recently. Of course, my satisfaction in this regard was short-lived as Jeffie delivered a couple of head-butts to me...
Then, for some reason, Joe ended up telling Jeffie that it really WAS my birthday and suggested I get another lap dance, which really didn't sit well at all with me. I actually fought back this time, and the evening closed with Jeffie seeking safety in the control room with Joe and Rick while I attempted to beat down the door.
Seriously, why can't he just stay dead?

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Recap by The Metal Wulf;
We were all still a little nervous at the very beginning of the evening, as Joe had STILL been MIA. The worry was short-lived, though, as Joe walked into the Stupid Room carrying a rolled-up newspaper, which he promptly used to beat me with, calling me bad Wulfie, and I think even at one point referring to me as a bad hoax!
Actually, I thought I'd made a pretty damned good hoax, considering how long we'd been able to keep Jeffie fooled. Oh well...
Yep, Joe had returned and WOW, was he pissed? Holy shit, I'd never seen his so furious! Not only about the circumstances that led him to depart the show for two weeks, but he wasn't too thrilled about me taking his car again in order to look for him.
Now, I could have sworn I'd left his car right in his driveway, but he said it wasn't there, and that it was my fault that he'd missed out on the Death Angel show!
Okay, I guess I'd have been bummed too if I'd missed that show, 'cuz it KICKED ASS!
More on that in a bit, though...
Anyway, Joe left the newspaper with Josh, in the interest of keeping me in line. Thankfully we were able to move on from my beatings long enough to pay tribute to departed guitar legend Gary Moore, focusing on his classic material from the 80's as well as a bit of his work with Thin Lizzy. Another sad loss, let's hope it's the last one for awhile.

So, Death Angel were AMAZING, I've gotta tell ya. It was more than worth taking our lives in our hands to attend the show, which was at Rochester's Montage Music Hall. Yeah, to say the weather absolutely SUCKED that night would be an understatement, and I think the fact that we even set foot out the door can stand as a testament to just how much we love this music. I shit you not, we risked our lives for that show!
Death Angel are one of those bands that I used to hear about back in the 80's and never really got around to embracing, although I always heard some pretty high praise for them.
Okay, I confess, I had my head up the ass of mainstream hard rock and metal for way too long back in the day, and I missed out on a LOT of great underground music. Can't dwell on what ya can't change...
Anyhoo, I left that show more or less kicking myself in the ass for not delving into their material more deeply. Their new disc is damned solid, and the new material holds up very nicely with the old, making for a very intense set list! Of course, it didn't hurt the evening at all that both Bonded By Blood and Lazarus A.D. both kicked ass. Definitely a great evening of metal, I strongly recommend ANY of these bands if they roll into your town!

Let's see, another point of interest...
 It seems that Will Polson wants to introduce us to some dude who calls himself "Shades"... Now, the only shades I know about are the ones I wear on sunny days, so I've got no bloomin' clue as to what the hell he's blabbering about, but we could be finding out pretty damned soon, from the sounds of it.
Aww, Hell, bring him on, the more the merrier, I say!

And finally, my evening on the show ended rather...ummmm...abruptly...
Azkath mentioned that maybe it wasn't a good idea to mention that he had...
Owwww...
Something about owls...
Grrrrrr...
My head hurts just thinkin' about it...
Anyhoo, apparently I started to lose it again, and of course I don't remember anything. And apparently it was left to poor Bill to get me out of the studio and deal with the situation...
Apparently he had to hit me with a tire iron just to get me calmed down...
Sigh...
Damned Azkath...

Listen to the Show - Pictures

Recap by The Metal Wulf;
Not a bad night by any stretch, although we were still lacking our host. Yep, Joe was still among the missing as of Friday night, and we were all pretty afraid that I may have frightened him off for good...
Not that I hadn't attempted to search for him. Man, I busted my ass lookin' for that guy! Knocked on his door for half an hour, and when I finally realized that neither he OR his wife were answering, I decided to expand my search. Unfortunately, I lack a ready source of transportation of my own...
Hmmm...what to do...
Figuring that he hadn't killed either Bill or myself for taking his car at Christmas, I proceeded to borrow it again! Yep, I drove that convertible of his around five counties, pretty much peeking in every window and under every rock, behind every tree...
You get the idea, and of course, I had no luck...
Anyway, blame seemed to be pretty firmly leveled at me, although I'm not liking how strange things occur whenever Azkath is on the show. Strange things like gaps in my memory...
Hmmmmm...
Seriously, were things really that much worse when we had a Jeffie running around?

Anyhoo, we had guests in the studio as well, so we really couldn't dwell on our missing host for too long!
So, Cuss Muffin and Izzy Normous had both returned to the show, and they brought a new team member, L.L. Cruel J, along with them. They were kind enough to bring us up to speed with new developments, among them the beginning of a new, longer season of derby action, a new team (the Mid-Town Maulers), and, of course, promoting their season opening bout at the Dome Arena this past Saturday night.
Always a pleasure to have these ladies visit, I've gotta say. L.L. Cruel J was nice enough to share a fun little story with us about how she got to meet Lemmy from Motorhead, and even played a game of pool with him, and Cuss Muffin shared some more tales of her travels with us. Of course, after hearing her tell of a visit to Nicaragua where she found a large spider eating a cockroach on top of her toothbrush, I'm thinking I'm not minding the cold, snowy New York winters quite so much anymore...
EWWWWWWWWW!!!

The latter portion of the evening, after our derby friends departed, found me sitting by myself in the Stupid Room. Seems that nobody wanted to share the essence (or should I say ASS-ence...) of Wulfie that was wafting about.
Hey, I didn't design the radio station! Who would have thought to put the rest room just a couple of doors away from where we all sit? Really! And you'd think if folks were so worried, they'd put in some air freshener or somethin'...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf;
Well, things went terribly wrong somewhere along the line last night, and I don't remember what happened!
Funny thing is, everybody tells me it's best NOT to remember. Must have been pretty damned bad!

So, the evening started off smoothly enough. Bill and I had returned after suffering from a dose of the typical offerings of the winter cold season.
An early discussion in the evening touched on my now-defunct werewolf gimmick that Jeffie had blown out of the water. Somehow it was mentioned that the whole thing could be considered a hoax, kind of a unique perspective when you think about it. Wulfie in the same league as Bigfoot, or the Loch Ness Monster? Hmmmm, does this mean that random Wulfie encounters could show up in the tabloids?
That would be pretty damned cool, if ya ask me!

Azkath from The Last Exit For The Lost had joined us once again, and it was shortly after his arrival that something terrible happened. Something so bad that nobody would speak of it, and I couldn't remember it!
Something so bad that it caused Joe, our long-suffering host, to quit the show!
Wish I could remember...
All I know is that Azkath mentioned something about having eight owls in his tree, and from there everything becomes a big ol' blur.
Apparently I went on some kind of terrifying rampage and did something so unspeakable that...well, as I said, nobody will speak of it! I mean, really, all Azkath would say was that the next time he gave me a post-hypnotic suggestion, I'd better interpret it properly!
But Azkath has said he'd NEVER hypnotize me!
Honestly, it's all very confusing...
And then everybody made me clean up the mess I'd made.
I swear, I don't even know what some of those fluids were! EWWWWWW!!!

So, of course, I really wanted to rectify the situation and make it up to Joe somehow, but he was long gone. Eventually, I decided I'd better get out and find him in the interest of setting things right!
Of course, so far I've had no luck in that department, and I' guess we'll just have to sit back and wait to see what comes of all of this...

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Recap by Fire Eater Wizard;
The Demon Azkath was there, and said he had seen the video proving that there had indeed been a Jeffie there the week before (he hadn't believed them when they told him there had been one there), and he had no idea where these Jeffies were coming from, as he wasn't making them. He didn't know where that one had gone, but, since Jeffie had said he was going home with Shoebox, he thought maybe Shoebox had him. If that is so, I bet Shoebox is just thrilled to death about that. The conversation hit on such topics as paper cuts, how they are the worst injuries to have by far, which is why there has never been a wrestling, or death match fight with them as the goal, it would just be too brutal, and penguins, what they wear, and the fact that all the species that are dying, are doing so, according to Joe at least, from liquefied innards, which would also make a cool title for a death metal song, "Death By Liquefied Innards". I'm gonna work on writing that right away, I'm sure it will be a hit, then I can become a super rock star, like Jeffie, with my own bus, groupies and everything...!!!!

Listen to the Show * Pictures




Recap by The Metal Wulf; I had a funny hunch that this night would be a little goofier than usual, as they are when somebody's birthday is creeping up. The birthday in question this time?

Mine!


Yes, my birthday was on the 17th, so I was expecting some related fun. Truth is, I desperately attempted to beat around the bush when asked how old I was going to be. At first I was tempted to switch numbers around, but then I realized I'd only be making it worse...

But, yes, you're sometimes furry pal is now 45, and only occasionally feeling it!


I was very pleasantly surprised by a visitor that had been invited by Azkath. A previous regular on the show, Worm Quartet's Shoebox hadn't been in the studio in roughly five years. Understand, now, that my only exposure to Shoebox before Friday night, outside of briefly meeting him at a roller derby event, had been in the form of Best Of DVD's that Azkath had set me up with during my recovery from foot surgery. I spent a LOT of time laughing at many of the segments on those discs, and probably laughed loudest during any segment that featured Worm Quartet. (those are all available on the website by the way, free to watch and download!)

Now, Worm Quartet, for those who may be scratching their heads, is a one-man musical comedy act that has been featured very prominently on Dr. Demento, even garnering the honor of being that shows most requested artist for a couple of years. The material, I must say, is freakin' hilarious, and I strongly recommend it!

So, Azkath, Rick, and Joe were certainly no strangers to Shoebox, although there seemed to be some puzzlement as to where the rest of Shoebox was left. Seems the man has lost a substantial amount of weight, so it was a sleeker version that joined us in the studio. Truth be told, everybody was thrilled to have him back!

One of the funniest moments of the show that night came as we were preparing to play Worm Quartet's "The Ballad of Dr. Stopp". Shoebox was explaining the story behind the song, which is about a little procedure he had done. He was quite descriptive, actually, and the hilarious part is that the procedure wasn't really named in specific terms, although I'm pretty sure it wasn't too difficult to piece together! Azkath then made matters worse by asking even more detailed questions...


Dave Henninger from Spater had also dropped in, promoting an upcoming show his band has with Nine Round this weekend, and also to get the word out that bands submitting for this years' Fingerlakes Metal Fest should get them in soon, as time is runnin' out! That particular event will be in May, the weekend BEFORE Memorial Day, and The Metallic Onslaught will be on hand to emcee the show! Gonna be a great time!

Had a brief visit from Jeffie, who'd gotten hold of some Gold Bond powder, which promptly stank up the entire Stupid Room. Oddly enough, Azkath swears that he hasn't made another Jeffie to send our way, but if that wasn't Jeffie, who was it?

Hmmmm, could Azkath be pulling the wool over our eyes? Or could Jeffie have learned how to clone himself before I killed him the last time?

Seems we've got a bit of a mystery on our hands here...

Listen to the Show

Recap by The Metal Wulf;
Not a lot of time for talk and/or random silliness, as this was our Best Of 2010 show. Considering there were five of us contributing this year, it filled the evening pretty completely, I must say!

Of course, if you tuned in at the beginning you may have been a little puzzled by the sounds of Gerry Rafferty's "Baker Street" kicking off the evening, but it was all in tribute to Mr. Rafferty's passing earlier in the week. A few Y&T songs were in there as well, as we'd also lost bassist Phil Kennemore. Let's face it, both artists contributed to some fine, memorable musical moments over the years, and respects must be paid where they are due!

Despite the limited time for talk, Bill and I did take a moment to make sure Joe found his car in acceptable condition following it's return on Christmas morning. He seemed pretty put-off by the whole thing, although I assured him that I thought we'd gotten all the reindeer poo off of his windshield.
Seriously, I've discovered, after that night, that birds are NOTHING when it comes to pooping on windshields. Flying reindeer are FAR worse, leaving a much larger area of splatter...

Anyhoo, on to the meat and potatoes of the evening!

Starting with Josh and continuing throughout the night with Bill, myself, Joe, and Rick, we played selections from our favorite albums of 2010. Now, in some cases there was a bit of overlap (a LOT in the case of Bill and myself, actually, but we listen to a lot of the same stuff, so...), but overall, I think the final tallies show a LOT of diversity in styles.
What can I say? 2010 was a HELL of a year for new music, and for my money the strongest showings were from acts that have been around for years. Kinda tells me that these acts have no plans of packing it in any time soon, and that the younger lions may need to start roaring a little louder if they wanna stay heard!

So, starting with Josh's list, here's what the Metallic Onslaught thought kicked the most ass in 2010! Take notes and check them out!

Josh Nolin's Picks
1. Iron Maiden-The Final Frontier
2. Gamma Bomb- Tales From Grave Space
3. Spiritual Beggars- Return To Zero
4. Bonded By Blood- Exiled To Earth
5. Halford IV: Made Of Metal
6. Helloween- 7 Sinners
7. The Sword- Warp Riders
8. Enslaved- Axioma Ethica Odini
9. Mago De Oz- Gaia III Atlantia
10. Tank- War Machine

Bill Smith's Picks
1. High On Fire- Snakes For The Divine
2. Murderdolls- Women And Children Last
3. Cradle Of Filth- Darkly, Darkly Venus Aversa
4. Triptykon- Eparistera Daimones
5. Dimmu Borgir- Abrahadabra
6. Watain- Lawless Darkness
7. Overkill- Ironbound
8. Rob Zombie- Hellbilly Deluxe 2
9. Black Label Society- The Order Of The Black
10. Flotsam And Jetsam- The Cold

Randy Smith's (aka Wulfie) Picks
1. Murderdolls- Women And Children Last
2. Rob Zombie- Hellbilly Deluxe 2
3. Black Label Society- The Order Of The Black
4. Overkill- Ironbound
5. High On Fire- Snakes For The Divine
6. Triptykon- Eparistera Daimones
7. Ozzy Osbourne- Scream
8. Stone Soul Foundation- Electric Valley
9. Cradle Of Filth- Darkly, Darkly Venus Aversa
10. Dimmu Borgir- Abrahadabra

Joe Wyatt's Picks (in no particular order)
Hail Of Bullets- On Divine Winds
Venomin James- Crowe Valley Blues
Atheist- Jupiter
Widow Sunday- In These Rusted Veins
Fallen Angels- Engines Of Oppression
Flotsam & Jetsam- The Cold
First Blood- Science Is Betrayed
Black Label Society- The Order Of The Black
Overkill- Ironbound

Rick Horton's Picks
1. Dimmu Borgir- Abrahadabra
2. High On Fire- Snakes For The Divine
3. Cradle Of Filth- Darkly, Darkly Venus Aversa
4. Death Angel- Relentless Retribution
5. Stone Soul Foundation- Electric Valley
6. Bleeding Through- Bleeding Through
7. Nevermore- Obsidian Conspiracy
8. Watain- Lawless Darkness
9. Enslaved- Axioma Ethica Odini
10. Kylesa- Spiral Shadow

Plenty of good music in there, let me tell ya! Makes me wonder if 2011 will be able to compete! But why stop there? Let's take a closer look where we overlapped, shall we? Because, when it all boils down, the following are the cream of the crop for 2010, and should be considered the true must-haves of the year.
Each title shows up on at least three of the previous lists. So, in no particular order:

Metallic Onslaught's Best Of 2010
High On Fire- Snakes For The Divine
Dimmu Borgir- Abrahadabra
Cradle Of Filth- Darkly, Darkly Venus Aversa
Overkill- Ironbound
Black Label Society- The Order Of The Black

Yep, I'd say that pretty much sums it up! Now check 'em out!