Metallic Onslaught Show Archive

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Recap by The Metal Wulf - Business as usual last night, meaning of course a lot of random craziness.
Actually ended the evening with a couple of surprise visitors. They'd called from Elmira at roughly 11:15 and said they'd be there in about an hour.
More on them later!

Pretty laid back in the early going, Joe had actually confessed that he didn't really feel like talking, which has its benefits, to be honest. Just that much more time to play some good music!

Things did pick up, though, once Jeffie arrived with Psyche Corporation's Genevieve. It was an utter pleasure to have her join us again, and we played some of her new material throughout the night. Still can't say enough good things about this lady's voice!

Topics of discussion, hmmmm...
Somewhere along the line, I believe it was Josh who mentioned something about steroid burgers. Can't remember exactly how this subject came up, but the idea of an Anabolic Take-Out Menu made me chuckle a bit. As I said at the time, it would give new meaning to "Super Size Me"...
I ended up revealing a little something I got for Christmas from a friend, a leather collar complete with rhinestones and a big silver bell. It was actually kind of amusing watching Jeffie become entranced by the jingling bell, almost lulling him into a state of quiet bliss where I'd be allowed to attack him at will. It ALMOST worked...
Unfortunately, Jeffie regained his composure and was able to defend himself. In the process, he somehow ended up swallowing the bell, coating it in his saliva...
EWWWW!!!
Somehow this led to Genevieve explaining the merits of zombie saliva in battling Neptunians. Good to know this in the event of any upcoming Zombpocalypse. We'll need to save as much saliva as we can if those Neptunians invade!
Then there was the matter of that little parasitic thing that Jeffie infected me with last week. He assured me that I was perfectly save and that the only thing it was going to do was make my fur sparkly.
As in Twilight sparkly...
Do I need to explain how badly this sat with me?
So yeah, by the end of the night I was getting glittery spots in my fur and at one point even started breathing out glitter...
I think Jeffie's in for a little payback once this paw heals completely, wouldn't you agree?

The capper to the evening came a little over two hours after that afore-mentioned phone call from Elmira. Our guests, who arrived at approximately 1:30 and had driven by the radio station roughly seven times looking for us, were two UWF wrestlers, Jay Flier and Giovanni. They'd dropped by to promote their upcoming show in Phelps next week, and I don't think Giovanni quite knew what he was walking into...
Those who are familiar with me and the local UWF shows know that I LOVE to bust on Giovanni's balls when I go to an event. There's just something about the little guy that screams "Heckle Me!" In reality, despite his being a heel, Giovanni's actually a pretty cool guy and we enjoyed the short amount of time we had with him on the show. Gotta get him and Jay back again when they can hang with us longer. At least then they'll have a better idea of what to expect!

Recap by The Metal Wulf: All in all, kind of a laid-back evening. Not that it wasn't without it's moments of craziness.

There's been a bit of a strange trend that actually got started well before I had my surgery in October. People can say certain things, and this will trigger something in my mind that connects with a song. When this happens, I have a habit of singing a bar or two of said song, no matter how lame it may be. Case in point, Joe saying something to Josh about "blaming it on the rain". Seconds later, I was singing Milli Vanilli, much to everyone's dismay. I actually had to confess to being ashamed of myself. Hey, when I goof, I admit it! Starting to think this whole thing is getting under Joe's skin a little bit, as he was trying to convince Josh to sabotage my mic before too long...
Hmmmm, guess I better start being careful about that singing!

We were all starting to worry about our continued good health throughout the evening. Seems Rick has had a dose of The Plague recently, and a lot of us have already had our own bouts with sickness, so we were lamenting the possibilities of getting sick again. Seriously, there were a couple of moments where I could have sworn I heard the splat of one of Rick's lungs as it hit the wall...

Jeffie was on hand once again. Seems strange that some of us were actually missing him last week. What the hell were we thinking!
Y'know, I'll give the guy credit, though. He was kind enough to sing me a birthday song in his own offbeat style. It was oddly touching, really.
Then, of course, he started coughing, propelling some sort of...thing...from his chest. And in the closing moments of the show, this...thing...crawled onto my face...and started eating it...before it decided to climb into my mouth and down my throat...settling someplace in my abdomen...

Oh, Jeffie, Jeffie, what have you done to me this time...

OWWWW!!! IT HUURRRRTSSSS!!!! IT HUUUUURRRRRTSSSSS!!!

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Recap by The Metal Wolf; I can't even begin to describe how good it felt to finally return to the show last night. More than anything, I think this was probably the biggest sign yet that my recovery is nearing its' end, and joining everybody once again just felt like the most natural thing in the world!

We were a little concerned early in the night due to the lack of Josh in the studio. We were discussing the possibility of sending out a St. Bernard or two to track him down in the crappy weather, but he finally made it! It was kinda nice to know he hadn't been buried under all the snow that was falling, or turned into a Josh-sicle thanks to the freezing temperatures.

A little strange last night, I must say. We had a few things pop up that I'm pretty sure could be taken as signs of the Apocalypse, and I'm going to summarize them here:

First off, there seemed to be an infestation of barking spiders and mice on motorcycles. Not only do these things make a highly distinctive sound, but they also leave behind a highly offensive odor. I suppose it could be chalked up to Rick's love of Taco Bell, though, so I consider these to be relatively minor Apocalyptic signs.

Then there was the Winger song, "Stone Cold Killer". I swear, if I hadn't heard it from Joe himself and personally seen the CD, I never would have believed this was an actual Winger song, not in a million years. Who would've thought that Kip Winger could actually make somewhat good music? Surely, it's a sign of the Apocalypse!

Then, amazingly, Joe joined Josh and I in the other room for a talk break. Seemed a little strange to have him slumming it, but still, pretty cool nonetheless. Another sign that I would consider relatively minor.

On top of that, Josh, Rick and I all agreed that we kind of missed Jeffie last night. Didn't seem quite right to not have him there. Joe seemed mortified that we were lamenting Jeffie's absence. Okay, I can see where that could be considered unnatural, so it must be a further sign that the End is near!

Another minor sign could be my slip of the tongue last night, as I dropped an S-bomb later in the evening. I'm usually very careful not to curse on the show, but last night I said "shit"... Aw, hell, let's just chalk that one up to carelessness on my part, and I just need to buckle down a little more. It's pretty easy to get in a comfortable mind-frame and forget yourself sometimes...

Probably the biggest shocker of the evening came during a discussion of of Keel. Seems they're collaborating on some music with the vocalist from Air Supply...
Now, bear something in mind here. Ron Keel went to playing country-western music in the Nineties under the name Ronnie Lee Keel, and eventually returned to his hard-rocking ways. But the vocalist from Air Supply? Nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING, good can possibly come as a result of this unholy union. This, more than anything else last night, is a sure sign of the Apocalypse.

On that note, let me just say that it may be time to duck and cover, my friends. Bend over and kiss your asses goodbye, because I strongly fear that the End Is Nigh!!!

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Recap by Fire Eater Wizard; Tim, from Century Media Records, was there, as was Lance, who hasn't been there in so long, we were certain he was dead. Apparently he is not, because, YAY, LANCE, LANCE, YAY LANCE(!), was indeed there! *clap, clap, clap, clap* Tim has a podcast, you can listen to. Jeffie said that his Internet license had been taken away by the Internet police, so he couldn't use computers. He didn't want to say why his license had been taken away, just insisted he hadn't done anything illegal, insisted a bit too much there, so you know it was something illegal. He told Rick that it hadn't been his idea to have him kill Josh in the death match 3 weeks ago. Rick didn't believe him, no matter how many times he insisted, and neither did anyone else. This year, New Year's Day fell on Friday, so the 1st 3 hours of this program were on New Year's Day...