RSS FEED

December 8, 2012 - Roller Girls, Birthdays and Ponies!

Listen to the Show

 More Photos

 Playlist

 Badlands - Winter's Call
Trouble - Tragedy Man
Troubled Horse - Another Mans Name
Orden Ogan - Angels War

CJSS - Ready
Doro - Raise Your Fist In The Air
Druid Lord - Awaken By The Dead
Earthship - Old Widow's Gloom
Mammoth Mammoth - (Up All Night) Demons To Fight

Cult Of Luna - I: The Weapon
Hatebreed - Put It To The Torch
Hanzel Und Gretyl - Ironstar Outlaws
Children Of Technology - Mayhemic Speed Anarchy

The Gates Of Slumber - Blessed Pathway To the Celestial Kingdom
Erupted - Path Of Perdition
Death - Spiritual Healing
Dimmu Borgir - The Maelstrom Mephisto
Unleashed - Odalheim

Hate - Solarflesh
The Gardnerz - Transilvanian Hunger
Daemonicus - Inhabited
Bane - Light The Black Flame
Bane - The Truth Unleashed
Type O Negative - Black No. 1

Saxon - Broken Heroes
Sacred Reich - Ignorance
Corrosion Of Conformity - Strong Medicine Too Late
Mortiferous Scorn - Bottom Feeder
Audrey Horne - There Goes A Lady
Galadriel - Still Not Dead Enough

Wednesday 13 - Halloween 13-13
Postmortem - Falling From Hell
Dr. Living Dead! - Mental Warzone
Hellbringer - Bell Of The Antichrist
Die Hard - Sanctify The Morbid
Wintersfear - Black Dolphin
Aeon - Still They Pray
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Piled Up For The Scavengers

King Diamond - At The Graves
Sepultura - Desperate Cry
Slayer - Criminally Insane
Devo Spice - In The 80's
H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society - Harley Got Devoured By The Undead
Daemonicus - Nothing But Death
Abhor - Wings Of Chaos

Triumph - When The Lights Go Down

_________________________________________________________________

 Recap by The Metal Wulf

 For the most part, it was a fun evening, but things got a little frustrating for me by the time the night was over. More on that in a bit, though...

So, we were celebrating three separate birthdays, as Lance, Josh, and Rick all had them during the course of the week.

A friend of Rick's was kind enough to provide a thoroughly delicious marble cake, complete with black icing and a red Pentagram design on top. Our kind of cake, without a doubt!

We had roller derby girls on the show, this time representing the newly formed Finger Lakes Lunachicks. In fact, we were only expecting a handful of girls to visit, but what was supposed to have been three turned into expecting a few more, and by the time it was all said and done, we had fifteen ladies in the studio, all there to support their team. Pretty damned cool, I must say.

I'm personally very excited at the prospects of actually having a team to represent our region, now. I'm even happier to say that these ladies seem more than content to have me represent as the team mascot.

Can you say WarWulf?

So, the evening took a turn for the weird after the arrival of Azkath.

Yeah, the moment finally arrived when he read the stupid "earthshaking" confession that was supposely prepared by me. I had no idea what to expect, but when it was all said and done, the the crap that started spewing forth was just plain ridiculous, even for OUR show...

So, according to this prepared statement that I was supposedly "too afraid to read", I am what is called a "Bronie"...

Honestly? What the FUCK is a Bronie? ** READ THIS FOR MORE DETAILS **

Apparently, a Bronie is a guy who is a fan of the My Little Pony cartoon series as well as the line of toys.

Apparently, it even goes beyond guys just being "fans", as in some extreme cases it crosses the border into fetishism...

Now, I'm not one to judge folks based on what turns them on, within reason. Hell, I could even understand the whole cartoon character thing...a HUMAN cartoon character, that is...say, a Wilma Flintstone fetish...or a Jessica Rabbit fetish...

Get where I'm coming from?

So, with that being said, take it from me. I've NEVER known anybody who even OWNED a My Little Pony...I've NEVER seen a single episode of the series...and, I don't find the stupid toys even REMOTELY CUTE!!!

End of story, no Bronies here!

** RANDY'S CONFESSION THAT HE HAD AZKATH READ ON THE AIR **
I, Randy Smith, have something to admit to all of you. This will be hard, but I do feel that it is an important part of my personality, and something that I wish you share with all of you. It means a lot to me, and it makes me who I am. In every possible way. It may be shocking, but in time, I feel that I can convert you all. So in conclusion, I Randy Smith, don't want you to look at me THAT differently because of all this. So, that's it I guess, oh, right, forgot to tell you. I am a Brony. That's right. I LOVE My Little Pony in the very best ways. The innocence. The love. The sexiness. So please, join me in my celebration of the greatness that is My Little Pony!

So, next week will probably be relatively calm, as Josh and Rick will be attending the Killswitch Engage/Shadows Fall show in Buffalo.

Joe and I, along with Lance, will still be on hand to entertain the masses! In fact, if I remember correctly, we should even see the return of Tim Binder, who will probably be back for a few weeks. Should be a good time, so tune on in!

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

December 1, 2012 - Abhor Visit

Listen to the Show

Playlist

 Black Country Communion - Afterglow
Mammoth Mammoth - Bury Me
Skalmold - Narfi
Finsterforst - Ein Lichtschein

Black Sabbath - Psychophobia
T&N - Slave To The Empire
Kiss - Wall Of Sound
Unleashed - Gathering The Battalions
My Dying Bride - Kneel Till Doomsday

Abhor - BAMFasaurus
Destruction - City Of Doom
Corrosion Of Conformity - The Vulture
Sons Of Aeon - Havoc & Catharsis

Abhor - Murder King
Maps Of War - Wake The Sheperd
Druid Lord - Baron Blood
God Seed - From The Running Of Blood

Abhor - Pathogen
Earthship - Iron Chest
Cradle Of Filth - Siding With The Titans
The Sword - Seven Sisters
Metal Church - Badlands

Venom - Black Xmas
Opium Warlords - Satan Knew My Secret Heart
Affiance - Righteous Kill
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Bow Down Before The Bloodcourt
Aeon - Die By My Hands

King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas
Mercyful Fate - Satan's Fall
U.D.O. - Up To The Limit
Baphomet - Broken Krypt
Incite - Retaliation

Bloodbound - Monstermind
CJSS - Too Hot
Death - Living Monstrosity
Troubled Horse - Don't Lie
Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Ritual Knife
Vicious Rumors - Don't Wait For Me
Paragon - Tornado
Orden Ogan - Land Of The Dead
Machine Head - Davidian

Ire Clad - Little Middle Man
Meathook Seed - My Infinity
Saturian - Aphotic
___________________________________________

 Recap by Fire Eater Wizard

 Rochester's Abhor joined us for a bit this week. Strongly recommend these guys, especially if you have a liking for progressive death metal. You can find them right here on Facebook, so check 'em out!

The Demon Azkath joined us once again, as Jeffie is supposedly still training his alligator to battle Joe. I'm guessing it's going to be awhile before he's ready to bring this critter to the show. As a matter of fact, I'm betting we will probably see him before he's ready to do so, since he's apparently raising this thing from a baby.

Makes you wonder how long it had been out of the egg when he found it.

Azkath DID have company this week, however, as Eric Rodriguez from Ire Clad accompanied him. Eric promptly challenged everybody on the show to arm wrestling matches, and of course we complied. Josh and I fell in quick succession, but Rick was able to hold his own for a fair chunk of time. Imagine Eric's surprise when Joe stepped up and, after some very touch and go moments, got the win! Eric is now awaiting his rematch, which may or may not ever happen.

Lessee...

I'd surprised Joe earlier in the evening by singing the chorus to an old Accept song after hearing only two or three notes of it, and this prompted Azkath to suggest we do something similar to Name That Tune, only using a selection of metal songs. I immediately jumped at the challenge. Honestly, I've just got an ear for that sort of thing, it's surprised people on a number of occasions over the years. So, bring it on, O Demon!

Further discussion about this whole Bouncy House Cake Battle thing degenerated further as somebody, (Eric I believe) suggested that Dave and I do a car wash instead. Yup, Dave and I, in our man-kini's, getting all wet and soapy.

As I recall, it was suggested that it be called "Chunkendales"...

Bunch of stuff going on next week, as we prepare to celebrate potentially up to four birthdays. Yep, Josh and Lance recently celebrated theirs, Rick's is on Saturday, and Eric's is coming up shortly as well. Apparently there will even be a pentagram cake, which is more than appropriate on a number of levels, considering it's also the holiday season!

On top of that, we'll have some girls from the recently formed Finger Lakes Lunachicks Roller Derby team, so I'm thinking that should be pretty darned cool, as well. Personally, I was glad to hear that we finally have a team to represent this particular region! Azkath also claims to have an "earthshaking announcement" to make on my behalf. Can't imagine what it's going to be, although, once again, I'm apparently supposed to know full well what it's all about.I assure you all, I am just as clueless about this as I was about the whole ridiculous "Pantsless Santa" dance thing that WON'T be happening on our End Of The World show in just over two weeks.


Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

November 24, 2012 - Randy's Xmas Annoucement

Listen to the Show

Playlist

Mammoth Mammoth - Bare Bones
Fozzy - God Pounds His Nails
Death - Low Life
Incubus - Beyond The Unknown

Kamelot - Ashes To Ashes
Overkill - Deny The Cross
Troubled Horse - As You Sow
Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Curse In The Trees
Anthem - Ghost In The Frame

Triumph - When The Lights Go Down
Megadeth - Good Mourning/Black Friday
Paragon - Bulletstorm
Destruction - Princess Of The Night
Bloodbound - Bonebreaker
Agony Lords - The Tree Of The Hanged

Abhor - Beating A Dead Horse
Incite - Exposed
Aeon - Blessed By The Priest
Chthonic - Takao
This Divided World - Unconditional
Druid Lord - Witchfinder

Helloween - Burning Sun
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Behead The Defense
Soundgarden - Into The Void
Skalmold - Loki
Finsterforst - Stirbt Zuletzt

Maps Of War - Charon's Decree
Pig Destroyer - Deny Everything
Sacred Reich - War Pigs
Destruction - City Of Doom
Quiet Riot - Resurrection

Herder - Mundane Affairs
CJSS - Red Handed
Butcher Babies - Jesus Needs More Babies For His War Machine
Burnt Offering - Slaughterhouse Grizzle
Diamond Plate - At The Mountains Of Madness

T&N - It's Not Love
King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas
Kiss - Hell Or Hallelujah
Aerosmith - S.O.S. (Too Bad)
Black Country Communion - Confessor
Machine Head - Davidian

My Dying Bride - The Poorest Waltz
Graveyard - An Industry Of Murder
Warlock - Touch Of Evil
Mammoth Mammoth - Sitting Pretty
Corrosion Of Conformity - Strong Medicine Too Late
Earthship - Athena

Abhor - Murder King
Cryptopsy - Red-skinned Scapegoat
____________________________________________

Recap by Fire Eater Wizard;

All in all, just a couple of points of interest to touch on, really.

There was a great deal of ball-busting about the possibility of me going to see Green Jelly this Friday night at The Bug Jar in Rochester.

Now, the deal with this show is that there is only one actual remaining member of Green Jelly. Vocalist Bill Manspeaker has actually been recruiting from city to city to fill out the remaining band, relying on local talent everywhere he goes. Actually, to me, that sounds pretty damned cool!

Still, it IS Green Jelly we're talking about here, not necessarily a band that was really meant to be taken seriously. But, keeping that in mind, I honestly thought their first album was hilarious. Well, better than half of it, anyway...

Anyhoo, my attitude toward this show is that, while it MAY suck, it most definitely will NOT be boring and might honestly be worth a laugh or two by the end of the night. We'll see how it goes, should I decide to attend...

Definitely had some weirdness goin' on, as Azkath made an announcement based on something I supposedly told him. Claims that I made him write this particular proclamation, which I can assure you certainly did NOT happen...

So, the deal here is, according to this announcement, I'm supposedly so depressed about the upcoming END OF THE WORLD (based on this misconstrued Mayan silliness...) and the fact that it's going to ruin a yearly Christmas ritual of mine.

This ritual apparently involves me doing the Pantsless Sata Dance, whatever the hell that is supposed to be...

*** HERE IS WHAT RANDY HAD AZKATH READ ON THE AIR **
I, Randy Smith, being of mind and body, have come to the conclusion that there will not be a Christmas this year. The world will end on the 21st of December and thus I will not be able to celebrate my typical Christmas tradition. Thus, this year I shall be celebrating this tradition at the end of the world, here on The Metallic Onslaught. You see, every Christmas day, at the end of the day, when I am alone and full of food and merryment, I perform the majestic rite of The Pantless Santa. Normally a private ceremony, but this year, due to the world ending, I will celebrate, here, at the Metallic Onslaught. with all of you.
Yup, no clue as to what this is about, and I can strongly assure all of our listeners that, despite any of my actions over the past couple of years on No Pants Day, there will be ABSOLUTELY NO Pantsless Santa Dance.

Relax folks, nothin' to worry about here. We might have ourselves an End Of The World show on that particular night, but it won't involve me running around without my pants!

To cap things off, Josh pulled something that nobody else had ever managed to do on the show, at least to my knowledge...

He fell asleep on the air!

But, thanks to Azkath, not for long...

Amazing how that boy can scream like a twelve year old with skinned knees, isn't it?


Labels: , , , , , , ,

November 17, 2012 - Jayne Dracula

Listen to the Show

Playlist
T&N - Into The Fire
The Sword - Eyes Of The Stormwitch
My Dying Bride - Within The Presence Of Absence
CJSS - Ready For War

King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas
Death - Genetic Reconstruction
Troubled Horse - Bring My Horses Home
Helloween - Heavy Metal (Is The Law)
Orden Ogan - Dying Paradise

Druid Lord - Witchfinder
Manowar - Black List
Morgion - Nomads Of The Dawn
Aeon - Dead Means Dead
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Circus Of Mass Torment

Sons Of Aeon - Enemy Of The Souls
Hanging Garden - Ash And Dust
Burnt Offering - Snow Death
Corrosion Of Conformity - Priest Brains
Galerna - Chemical Warfare

Dethklok - Killstardo Abominate
Pig Destroyer - The Diplomat
Incite - Feel The Flames
Axewound - Cold
All That Remains - Sing For Liberty
The Bronx - Ribcage

Doro - Rock Till Death
Neurosis - All Is Lost...In Time
The Sorrow - Dead Home
Black Country Communion - Common Man
Kiss - Long Way Down

T&N - It's Not Love
Michael Angelo Batio - Tribute To Randy
Like Moths To Flames - Some Nights
Machine Head - Halo
Tiamat - Winter Dawn

Jayne Dracula - Land Of Transilvania
Butcher Babies- Mr. Slowdeath
Herder - The Invisible Hand
A Perfect Day - Long Road To Ruin
Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Withered Hand Of Evil

Jayne Dracula - Saturn Under Sunset
Maps Of War - Prescription 666
Death - Defensive Personalities
Revocation - Maniacally Unleashed
Sacred Reich - Ignorance
Aeon - The Glowing Hate
_________________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf;

We were joined in the studio by Azriel Mordecai, former bass player for Zadoc...and The Nightmare!, now currently playing in Jayne Dracula. Hadn't hung with Az in awhile, and it was extremely cool to have him on hand to bring us up to speed.

As a matter of fact, if you were listening you got to hear Azriel come up with an idea that pretty much has made this cake battle with Dave a done deal. Yeah, I know, I've been denying for weeks that I would succumb to this silliness, but the truth of the matter is, Azriel came up with an idea of how to present this event that's just too damned amusing not to attempt.

So, let me submit this for consideration: David Gee (from The Last Exit For The Lost) and little ol' me, in a wrestling match featuring cake. This match is to take place in a Bouncy House (Azriel's idea), and with the right strings pulled, will be refereed by Crappy The Clown (of Stool and Punch Drunk Monkeys fame...or infamy...those who are familiar know where I'm comin' from...)

Seriously, I'm in, assuming we can get Crappy to referee.

Of course, it's easy for me to agree to this, because there's probably no chance in Hell we'll get this to come together anyway. So, unless some serious alignmenmt of the stars takes place, I still wouldn't hold your breath for this particular event.

Just picture the silliness in your head for now!

Let's see...

Not much else really note-worthy that I remember.

However, there was a particularly amusing discussion of the whole Hostess bankruptcy debacle that led to a further discussion of other sweet snack foods that we've liked or disliked over the years.

In a nutshell, the conversation focused on our favorite combinations of chocolate and other things...marshmallow, coconut, nuts in general...

Of course, once nuts came into the equation, the conversation proved to be an example of just how dirty our minds can get sometimes, not to mention how quicly things can just plummet into inappropriateness.

Funny...it didn't occur to me until just now that we never even brought cherries into the mix... that would have been oddly fitting, all things considered... 


Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

November 10, 2012 - Wulfie's Red Rocket!

Listen to the Show - More Pictures
Playlist
Doro - Revenge
Black Country Communion - The Circle
Death - Living Monstrosity
Graveyard - The Suits, The Law & The Uniforms

My Dying Bride - A Tapestry Scorned
Kamelot - My Confession
Kingdom Come - Pushing Hard
Savatage - Power Of The Night
Mob Rules - Ice & Fire

Soundgarden - Blood On The Valley Floor
Pig Destroyer - Wolfs Blood
Aeon - I Wish You Death
August Burns Red - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Maps Of War - Nooses For Neckties

Revocation - Spurn The Outstretched Hand
Rhyme - Slayer To The System
All That Remains - We Are Only Human
Druid Lord - Castle Of Count Sadist
Cryptopsy - Two-Pound Torch

Megadeth - Holy Wars...The Punishment Due
Sacred Reich - Death Squad
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Circus Of Mass Torment
Bison b.c. - Last And First Things
Opium Warlords - Satan Knew My Secret Heart

Mammoth Mammoth - Go
Nidingr - The Worm Is Crowned
Issues - Boyfriend
Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Dreams Of Fireflies (On A Christmas Night)
We Came As Romans - Glad You Came
Kiss - Back To The Stone Age

Upon This Dawning - Call Me Maybe
Mayday Parade - somebody That I Used To Know
Neurosis - We All Rage In Gold
The Sword - Dying Earth

Slayer - Seasons In The Abyss
Uncle Slam - Weirdo Man
Pantera - Five Minutes Alone
Aeon - Dead Means Dead
Mavth - Hymn To Azael

Lynch Mob - Slow Drag
Death - Altering The Future
Davey Suicide - Grab A Gun & Hide Your Morals
How To Destroy Angels - Parasite
Troubled Horse - Sleep In Your Head

Machine Head - The Blood, The Sweat, The Tears
God Seed - From The Running Of Blood
Parkway Drive - Dream Run
____________________________________________

 (Recap written by Randy Smith, aka MetalWulf, aka Wulfie's Red Rocket on Citizen's Band Radio...)

Played some Graveyard early in the show, great stuff, especially if you like stuff that hearkens back to that heavy 70's sound.

Somehow, though, this song led to a discussion of 70's fashion, something that I was a tragic victim of.

That's right, I'm talking tacky plaid pants and shirts, not to mention those god-awful leisure suits.

The rest of the crew, Joe in particular, found this to be particularly hilarious, and I'm now somewhat committed to putting up photos of myself from this era.

So,yeah, keep your eyes peeled for some amusing pics on our Facebook page, not to mention the official website, in the somewhat-near future...

Can't for the life of me remember how we got on this, but somehow we got on the topic of something that could only be found on the Buffet From Hell's dessert menu...

So with that being said, boy, doesn't a Blue Waffle Sundae w/ Chocolate Starfish Sauce sound great right now?

Mmmmmmmmm...betcha can't eat just one...

(Brief pause to allow vomiting...cue elevator music...)

So, now that everybody's heaved up their dinner or late-night snack, whatever the case may be, I'd like to take a moment to direct you to some new features on the Metallic Onslaught official website's page!

First up, we have officially installed a chat room for anybody who wants to come in during the live broadcast to say hello, or even to make song requests. Not all of us may be able to enter at the same time, but the option is certainly there now, so feel free to pop on in!

The other feature is also on The Last Exit For The Lost's website as well as ours, so you can now check out our new Video Of The Month option! Guaranteed to be something cool each and every month, I can assure you of that!

There was some discussion of an End Of The World show, 'cuz hey, those Mayans may be onto something, right?

Yeah, riiiiiiiiight...

However, Joe did seem a bit concerned about the prospects, because if the world DOES end next month, that's going to totally fuck up his vacation in January...not to mention everybody else's vacations...

Azkath seemed to be of the belief that stocking up on balloons for our End Of The World show may be necessary, because we may need things to float on when the it's all said and done.

This idea was so crazy that we all had to wonder whether it was actually Azkath in attendance, or if Jeffie had arrived and was pretending to be smarter than usual...

Speaking of Jeffie, it seems that Joe had actually left him to die in Louisiana, dumping him in a gator-filled swamp. But, as it turns out, Jeffie has survived and actually adopted a gator that tried to eat him, and is even now plotting to bring the gator onto the Onslaught to get revenge on Joe.

Yeah, I'll believe THAT when I see it...

I should have suspected this was coming, but I was still caught by surprise when Azkath arrived with a CB radio. Personally, I honestly didn't expect to get any responses as we attempted to use the thing during a couple of talk breaks. Truth is, there was absolutely nobody responding the first couple of times I went live, using the handle Wulfie's Red Rocket.

However, later in the evening, in between talk breaks, I'd had brief contact with a seemingly nice lady who called herself Wicked Wanda, but she was unresponsive when we tried to talk to her live. Sad, 'cuz she seemed kinda cool!

What wasn't cool were the weird, otherworldly voices that came through shortly after that...saying they were watching me...and coming for me...

Yeah, kinda freaky, but c'mon, I really doubt that there are some horrible, Lovecraftian horrors coming for me from "beyond"...

I mean, c'mon, give me a break...

   
Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

November 3, 2012 - What Did Joe do to Jeffie?

Listen to the Show

 Playlist

Kamelot - Torn
Kiss - Take Me Down Below
Sweet Cheater - Dancin' On My Grave
Mob Rules - Ice & Fire

Manowar - Manowarriors
Quiet Riot - Cold Day In Hell
The Sword - The Hidden Masters
Triumph - Allied Forces

My Dying Bride - Kneel Till Doomsday
Kingdom Come - Can't Deny
Druid Lord - Gorgon Witch
Earthship - Iron Chest
Kreator - Wolfchild

Machine Head - Davidian
Graveyard - Slow Motion Countdown
Orden Ogan - To The End
Parkway Drive - Dream Run
Stolen Babies - Splatter
Neurosis - Bleeding The Pigs

Anthem - Evil One
Doro - Coldhearted Lover
All That Remains - Down Through The Ages
Over The Falls - Han Solo
God Seed - From The Running Of Blood
Kadavar - Creature Of The Demon
Down - Witchtripper

Maiden United - Prowler
Mammoth Mammoth - Weapon Of Mass Self Destruction
Cradle Of Filth - Huge Onyx Wings Behind Despair
Bison b.c. - An Old Friend
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Piled Up For The Scavengers

Incantation - The Hellions Genesis
VoiVod - Mechanical Mind
Vindicator - Fatal Infection
Early Graves - Pure Hell
Evocation - Well Of Despair

Black Country Communion - Dandelion
Morbid Angel - Brainstorm
Incubus - Battle Of Armageddon
Fozzy - God Pounds His Nails
One-Eyed Doll - Committed
Pig Destroyer - The Underground Man
Pig Destroyer - Eve

The Infrared Radiation Orchestra - Bed of Nails
Kiss - Last Chance
Atrum Inritus - The Chains That Bind
Fear - I Don't Care About You
While She sleeps - Until The Death
Acaro - Becoming The Process

The Pestilence Choir - Neon Black
______________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf

An early discussion focused on the band, Manowar, and their latest disc, The Lords Of Steel.

Now, the album had been released as a download back in June, not to mention the special edition that was released with the June issue of Metal Hammer. Well, the tracks have been remixed, and the actual CD will see the light of day later this month.

With that in mind, Joe played the track "Manowarriors" once again, and aside from sounding better musically, the song really hasn't benefitted much from the remix.

Seriously, no disrespect meant to any members of the band. It's just that, well...Joey's lyrics, especially when writing about heavy metal music or fans of his band...can be a little TOO cheesy...

Instrumentally, the songs can be amazing, but, I'm sorry, Joey can be a little hit and miss as a lyricist. I've heard some great things from him, and I've heard some utterly cringe-worthy stuff as well.

Honestly, I DO love Manowar, though. Just gotta call it the way I see it as a fan...

In a semi-related discussion, something was mentioned about all of us ending up in Hell someday, clad in loincloths and wielding swords, singing "Hail And Kill" for eternity.

Except for Lance, who will probably be singing Giuffria's "Call To Your Heart" as soon as he hits them Pearly Gates...

Hilarity ensued when it was revealed that my family had CB radios when I was younger. As I remember, it was the latter part of the 70's, and I would have been in the 11-13 age range. Don't know why this should be such a source of amusement, we actually met a lot of different people in that time frame, most of them pretty cool as I remember.

Joe also seemed to find a great deal of humor in the fact that my handle was Red Raven. What can I say, it seemed cool at the time.I'd like to take this moment, though, to stress that was "RED RAVEN" and not "RED ROCKET", as presumed by certain others involved with the show.

People have got dirty minds, I tell ya...

No Jeffie this week, which prompted Azkath to interrogate Joe a little bit. Joe seemed to have no clue as to Jeffie's whereabouts, claiming that he'd never actually seen Jeffie in New Orleans at all. So, the question remains...

What did Joe do to Jeffie?

I'm sure this discussion is far from over, and there will be some interesting stories forthcoming over the next couple of weeks.

As for other stories shared by Joe, well, they weren't really fit for discussion on the radio, if ya know what I mean...





Labels: , , , , , , , ,

October 27, 2012 - Halloween Show

Listen to the Show

 Playlist
The Sword-Cloak of Feathers
Trouble-Memory's Garden
Badlands-Devil's Stomp
King Diamond-Halloween
Black Country Communion-The Giver
Kiss-Long Way Down
Alice in Chains-Godsmack
Witchcraft-Ghost House
Dream Theater-Dark Eternal Night
Between the Buried and me-Bloom / Melting City
Enslaved-Riitiir
Coheed and Cambria-Hollywood the Cracked
God Seed-From the Running of Blood
Cradle of Filth-The Abhorrent
Cradle of Filth-Hell Awaits
Advent Sorrow-Before the Dimming Light
Atrum Inritus-The Chains that Bind
Slipknot-Eyeless
Order of the Dead-Subversion
Burn Everything-Holy Diverticulitus
Hate Machine-Bring in the Butcher
Becoming the Archetype-I am
To the Deep-Medicate
King Diamond-Family Ghost
Savatage-Hall of the Moutain King
Kadavar-Creature of the Demon
Black Country Communion-Big Train
The Sword-Eyes of the Storm Witch
Misfits-Halloween
Misfits-Halloween 2
Kiss-Shout Mercy
Prong-Whose Fist is this Anyways

Until We Have Faces "You Bring the Pitchfork and I'll Bring a Prayer"
Mind Bomb "Barry White's Hell"

Max DeGroot "The Halloween Song"
Biters "Hallucination Generation"
Blood of the Sun "Can't Stop my Heart"
Deathbed "Half Past Years"
Heartist "Rhinestone"
Machine Head "Davidian - Live"

Devo Spice "PC Halloween"
Bloody Red Hearts "Good News"
Burning the Day "Buried Beneath"
Skrog "MK - Ultra"
Grand Supreme Blood Court "Behead the Defence"
Dino-Mike "Halloween Night"

Helloween "Halloween"

Dropkick Murphy's "Halloween"
Alice Cooper "Prince of Darkness"
Hallows Eve "Hallows Eve (Including Routine)"
_________________________________________

 Recap by The Metal Wulf

 Rick was in control on this night, as Joe was in New Orleans.

Yes, it was official, he was actually there. No confusion for Jeffie, this time, as he once again made his way down south to find Joe. No clue as to whether or not he succeeded, but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.

Not sure how the early going of the show had played out, but with it being less than a week before Halloween, I'm sure there was an assortment of creepiness thrown in to get everybody in a festive mood!

Azkath and I had gotten there in time to hear Ken discussing that he wanted to hear some Barry White. Naturally I thought the guy was joking, considering the vast differnce in styles.

Still, I'd say it's far more likely to hear Barry White on our show than it would be to hear Barry Manilow...ugh...

To be perfectly honest, Ken DID get himself a small dose of Barry White, in the form of a song by a band called Mindbomb, which just so featured a cameo by the man himself.

So, there ya go, Ken. You can't say we've never done anything for you!

Josh's night was made as Azkath played "Halloween" by Helloween. For those who may be unaware, Helloween is one of his favorite bands, and to be completely honest, they're among my favorites as well. Too good of a song NOT to play, in celebration.

Honestly, that's as much as I remember. Tune in this Friday, as I'm sure there will be plenty for Joe to tell us of his experiences in New Orleans, and whether or not Jeffie actually found him down there. Should be interesting!


Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

October 20, 2012 - Zombie Randy

Listen to the Show - More Pictures

Playlist
KIX - Girl Money

Saints & Sinners - Wheels Of Fire
Skid Row - Slave To The Grind

Danger Danger - Slipped Her The Big One
Queensryche - Anybody Listening?
Trixter - Waiting in That Line
Damn Yankees - Come Again

Kik Tracee - Don't Need Rules
Great White - Twice Shy
Firehouse - All She Wrote
Ozzy Osbourne - Mr. Tinkertrain

My Dying Bride - Like A Perpetual Funeral
Acaro - Throne Of Blood
Cradle Of Filth - Frost On Her Pillow
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Circus Of Mass Torment
Mammoth Mammoth - (Up All Night)Demons To Fight

Bison B.C. - Finally Asleep
Opium Warlords - This Wind Is A Gift From A Distant Friend
The Sword - Eyes Of the Stormwitch
Fortune
Affiance - Class Dismissed
The Paramedic - Clarissa Didn't Explain This
Wintersun - Land Of Snow And Sorrow
Geoff Tate - Take A Bullet
Tiamat - Thunder & Lightning

The Pestilence Choir - Lizard King
The Sorrow - Buried In The Deep
Slam One Down - Hell Doesn't Want Me
The Acacia Strain - Doomblade
Beyond The Threshold - First Blood
No Bragging Rights - Hope Theory
Pro-Pain - Nothing Left



Kiss - Back To The Stoneage
Lynch Mob - Slow Drag
Dio - Lord Of The Last Day
Down - Levitation
Pathology - A Bleak Future

Surrounded By Monsters - Ask Mr. Owl
Cradle Of Filth - Huge Onyx Wings Behind Despair
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Bow Down Before The Blood Court
Red Fang - Crows In Swine
Orden Ogan - Land Of The Dead

Kingdom Come - Break Down The Wall
Pig Destroyer - King Of Clubs
Pig Destroyer - Permanent Funeral
VoiVod - Mechanical Mind

The Sword - Cheap Sunglasses
____________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf

So, for those who may have been a little confused in the first hour of the show, I'll take a moment to bring everybody up to speed.


You see, many, MAAANY years ago, before Joe started hosting the Metallic Onslaught, there was a show called Rockin' Rage, hosted by Drew Hammond. Joe had been trying for quite some time to get Drew to come by and spin some classic 80's hair metal for us, and this past Friday, that's precisely what happened! Gotta say, it was a pretty good mix of tunes thrown in there.

 I take full responsibility for the Damn Yankees track, by the way. "Come Again" is one of my favorite Tommy Shaw songs, outside of Styx. Not gonna deny it.

 Don't be surprised if we happen to get Drew to sit in with us again, all told, the whole thing went really well!

I got a chance to vent a little bit about the cluster fuck that was the Rob Zombie/Marilyn Manson show at the Main Street Armory last Tuesday night. Amazingly enough, I got through the whole discussion without swearing. Seriously, I wasn't very confident in my ability to do that, that's how upsetting the whole situation was, and I was one of the lucky ones...

 So, if you weren't there, this is what transpired:

 Over an hour wait for the doors to open, in not-very-warm weather. At least it wasn't precipitating...

 Doors were to open at 6:00, and didn't open 'til after 7:00. Bill, Erica, and I were fortunate enough to get inside with just enough time to visit the rest rooms and take a peek at the over-priced t-shirts before Manson took the stage.

 No opener, by the way, although DJ Starscream (Slipknot's Sid Wilson) was to have that slot in J Devil's absence.

 So, people were still lined up outside during Manson's set. General agreement seems to be that there were in excess of 3,000 people who missed at LEAST half of Manson's set. That's better than half the people in attendance, as more than 5,000 people were packed into the Armory for this show, literally elbow to elbow, front to back, through the whole damned place...Which brings me to another point of annoyance. Why do they constantly oversell this place? If it took that long to get everybody in, I shudder to think what would have happened in the event of an emergency and everybody had to vacate in a hurry. I'm pretty sure that a fire that night would have made the Station Night Club tragedy look like a weenie roast...

 Numerous complaints regarding security, as it was the second time this particular company had worked the Armory. I, personally, didn't see anything too out of the ordinary, although I question why they seemed more interested in shining their lights in people's cars while we were waiting to get in.

 Zombie and Manson both kicked ass, so at least that was a plus.

 Anyway, it took the Armory two days to address the situation, after many of us had spent that time addressing it in our own manner.

 In a nutshell, a miscommunication between Zombie's Production Manager and the Armory staff resulted in the stage being assembled late in the day, cutting into the time the doors were to open, as well as cutting into the time that the opener was to take the stage. The Armory seems bound and determined to place all blame on Zombie's staff, and maybe rightly so. Still, my point is how does this venue NOT research the artists they're booking?

 I mean, come on, Zombie brings a show that rivals any other act known for big stage productions, including KISS.

 Enough about that, though...

So, we saw the return of Jeffie, who had mistakenly traveled to New Orleans to find Joe a handful of weeks ago. If you remember correctly, Joe had been vacationing in Lake George, and Jeffie got very, VERY sidetracked...

 We'd spent previous weeks dreading his return, 'cuz lets face it, none of us really wanted to think about what kind of trouble he could have been finding down in Cajun Country. I mean, for all we knew he could have taken up Alligator Wrestling and was planning on returning with some reptilian companionship. Of course, had he been actually eaten by a gator....hmmmmm...I suppose we could always send him back down there...

 Anyhoo, he returned, and it was worse than any of us could have anticipated. Actually, I think some of us may have been somewhat prepared for this possible scenario. For my part, I probably just found the idea to be too farfetched to take seriously.

 But, as it turns out, Jeffie had gotten mixed up with a Voodoo Priestess...named Papa Shango...

 Papa...Shango...wha-?

 Yeah, I know, I said it myself. Papa Shango was a short-lived WWE Wrestler about 20 years ago. The character was god-awful, and they eventually reintroduced the guy as Kama...who eventually had his greatest success when he became that Ho-lovin' Pimp Daddy, The Godfather. But, Jeffie insists he never heard of the guy, and that this Papa Shango was a woman.

 Yeah, it makes my brain hurt, too, I know...

 Honestly, I just chalked it up to the possibility that maybe he'd partied a bit too much, but then...I've never known Jeffie to be much of a drinker...unless it was bleach. Silly guy just LOOOOVES his bleach...

 So, whoever this lady was, she supposedly taught Jeffie how to turn people into zombies.

 Yep, pure ridiculousness. Sheer idiocy.

 I think the only thing she taught him was how to be more of a clumsy oaf than he already was. Every time I turned around Friday night, he was flat on his face, looking like he'd been getting his ass kicked. And on more than one occasion, I'd turn my head to see him with his head in Josh's lap.

 Yeah, you can only imagine what THAT looked like! Hell, at one point I had to tell them to get a damned room!

And what's more, he seemed to be confused as to what was wrong with me! Apparently, I was supposed to be turning into some kind of wrestling zombie. Yep, utter fucking nonsense. I mean, I admittedly had a couple of moments where I was a little disoriented, but I chalk it up to lack of sleep. I mean, I really DO keep some crazy hours. Hell, look at the time of night that I'm writing this! It's almost 2:00 a.m., for Chrissakes!

 But, Jeffie would have you thinking I was turning into a zombie, and beating him up, which I suppose wasn't his plan, as he seemed to be wanting me to beat up on Josh or Rick.

 He's such a goof, I swear...

Outside of that, there was another brief discussion concerning this whole cake-eating thing. Quite frankly, Azkath has successfully turned me off of cake for the time being. Honestly, I can't think about the stuff without stifling the urge to vomit, profusely. To make matters worse, Jeffie seems to think it would be a wonderful idea, and wants to take part in it somehow. Hell, I assured him that if he and Dave want to eat cake off each other, go for it! I'll even record it, as long as I don't' have to take part!

 But, Jeffie seems to think he'd rather referee. Weird...

 Doesn't matter, though, 'cuz it just ain't happening' folks.
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

October 13, 2012 - Where Hope Resides Visit

Listen to the Show - Pictures



Playlist
Saint Chaos - Pressure
Testament - Dark Roots Of The Earth
Witchcraft - White Light Suicide

Enslaved - Forsaken
Gojira - Planned Obsolescence
Dio - Fever Dreams
Dio - Black

Rush - BU2B
Down - This Work Is Timeless
VoiVod - Mechanical Mind
Holy Grail - Dark Passenger

Where Hope Resides - Our Demons
Deceased - Luck Of The Corpse
The Acacia Strain - The Mouth Of The River
The Sword - Veil Of Isis

Where Hope Resides - Regrets & Remorse
Pig Destroyer - Book Burner
Pig Destroyer - Iron Drunk
Pig Destroyer - Kamikaze Heart
Early Graves - Pure Hell
Downfall Of Gaia - Drowning By Wing Beats
Where Hope Resides - Intro
Where Hope Resides - Clocks
Illdisposed - I Am Possessed
Incantation - The Hellions Genesis
My Dying Bride - Hail Odysseus

Kiss - The Devil Is Me
The Infrared Radiation Orchestra - Bed Of Nails
Re-Machined - Maybe I'm A Leo
AC/DC - Squealer
Admiral Sir Cloudesley Shovell - Killer Kane
Admiral Sir Cloudesley Shovell - Bean Stew
Lynch Mob - World Of Chance

Kix - No Ring Around Rosie
Mongrel - Bored To Death
Motorhead - Iron Fist
Castle - Ever Hunter
Judgement Day - Demon Fire
Axe Wound - Destroy

Pathology - Earth's Downfall
Converge - coral Blue
Sylosis - What Dwells Within
Before The Dawn - Throne Of Ice
Dethklok - Biological Warfare

Vindicator - Fire Escape
Warnot - The Crow Will Die
Scelerata - In My Blood
Abiotic - To Burgeon And Languish
Antropomorphia - Anointment By Sin

Ashes You Leave - Summers End 
___________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf

Where Hope Resides joined us in the studio this week for an interview, and everything went pretty smoothly, considering they're pretty young (they range in age from 16-20) and it was also their very first interview. All told, I think they handled themselves very well, and should we have them back some night, I'm sure it will be that much easier next time!

In all honesty, it was a relatively calm evening until Azkath once again brought up that insane money-making idea of Dave and I eating cake off of each other.

I don't remember much, really, there was another of those black-out moments after I confessed to genuinely liking cake...and things got a little blurry after that...

Funny thing is, after I recovered my senses, I found a fuzzy pink pig attached to my hand, and it was assuring everybody that I was okay. The pig, (now known as Renaldo...), ended up enduring one of the most horrible beatdowns that a toy has ever suffered on the show.

Seems that Azkath doesn't like puppets. Go figure...

Sigh...

Poor, poor Renaldo...






Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

October 6, 2012 - Cartoons and the birth of the Cake Idea!

Listen to the Show

Playlist
The Infrared Radiation Orchestra - Airborne
Dio - Black
Kix - No Ring Around Rosie
Kiss - Wall Of Sound
Iron Maiden - Space Truckin'

Castle - Alcatraz
Down - This work Is Timeless
Witchcraft - Dystopia
Gregorian - Hurt
Judas Priest - Riding On The Wind

Steve Harris - Us Against The World
Miss May I - Day By Day
The Sword - Veil Of Isis
Holy Grail - Dark Passenger
Daylight Dies - Ghosting
Dethklok - Killstardo Abominate

Between The Buried And Me - Extremophile Elite
Cutty Sark - Hardrock Power
Deceased - Torn Apart By Werewolves

Sinister - Transylvania (City Of The Damned)
The Graviators - Evil Deeds
Satan - Hunt You Down
The Acacia Strain - Our Lady Of Perpetual Sorrow
Therion - Lilith
Pig Destroyer - The Diplomat
Paradise Lost - Fear Of Impending Hell

Pathology - Asphyxiation Through Consumption
Axewound - Victim Of The System
Texas In July - Without A Head
This Or The Apocalypse - Guant And Fierce
Converge - Empty On The Inside
Sylosis - Monolith
Glamour Of The Kill - World's End

Murderdolls - Die My Bride
Savatage - White Witch
Bullet - All Fired Up
Eluveltie - Of Fire, Wind & Wisdom
Threshold - Staring At The Sun
Saxon - To Hell And Back Again
Kiss - Shout Mercy

Evocation - Crimson Skies
Advent Sorrow - Withered By Her Curse
Stygian - Hollow
Weapon - Crepuscular Swamp, Unhinged Swine
All Dinosaurs - Ragnarok & Roll

Onward To Olympas - Wolf's Jaw
Beyond All Recognition - Arriving With The Sun
Sinister - The Final Destroyer
Scum Of The Earth - (Mindless) Dead Things
Tygers Of Pan Tang - These Eyes
Deceased - The Luck Of The Corpse

Black Country Communion - Confessor
Lynch Mob - Slow Drag
________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf

We get on some strange discussions sometimes, and Friday night was chock full of them.

Somehow we got on the topic of Ed Sullivan, which led to a further discussion of Futurama and whether or not Ed's head had been preserved on the show. I mean, obviously Richard Nixon's head has been featured abundantly, but not so sure about Ed...

Of course, me being the old-school Dungeons And Dragons geek that I am (and I'm not talking about that God-awful 80's cartoon series, I'm talking the actualy Role Playing Game...), I proudly mentioned that Gary Gygax had been featured at one point.

But then, I was the only member of the Onslaught who knew who Gary Gygax was...sigh...

From there, Josh asked if Tom Baker (Dr. Who, circa 70's-80's) had ever been featured, and I'll be damned if I know...kinda boggles the mind, really...

And that wasn't the end of the cartoon discussions.

Can't remember what it was I was laughing so hard at, but I started snorting into the mic, and Joe mentioned that at least I didn't snarf into the mic.

For those unfamiliar with the term, "snarfing" is Onslaught slang for laughing so hard that you pass things through your nose, usually liquids, and sometimes at an increased velocity, resulting in the spraying of people in front of you...

Of course, Snarf was also a character on Thundercats, which is what brought the conversation to cartoons.

Somehow Thundercats led to Voltron, which I mentioned that I was never personally wild about, as I had always thought Battle Of The Planets was better. Joe seemed highly disappointed in my lack of love for Voltron, but what can I say, I just couldn't get into it.

I will say this, Voltron beat the piss out of a certain live-action rip-off of it that came along in the 90's. God, I fucking HATED Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers...ewwwwww..

I think it was Josh who brought up Thunderbirds, an old 70's children't sci-fi program that featured marionettes, and was actually way too creepy for a lot of younger kids to watch. I know I couldn't hack it...

Gotta say, it's discussions such as these that pretty much cement the fact that we are all hopeless DORKS!!! And, really, that's okay. Most true metalheads are, I've come to find out.

So, Azkath was on hand again. Seems that Jeffie somehow got diverted last week. He had been sent to visit Joe, who was vacationing in Lake George, but he somehow ended up in Louisiana. One can only imagine what kind of weird stuff he's gonna be spewing whenever he returns...if he returns...

Azkath seems to have an idea for me to make some serious cash, but it would have to include Dave from the Last Exit. It's been made known to me, fairly recently, that Dave and I actually share a...unique...fan base.

Yeah, let's just leave it at that...

Anyhoo, this...fan base...would most likely find it highly entertaining for Dave and I to strip down into our underwear and wrestle in cake...eating the cake off of each other.

Azkath assures me that this wouldn't be considered gay, as there would be no actual sex. Now, I can honestly say that this doesn't even sound remotely fun to me, I don't care how entertaining it would be to a certain percentage of the male population. I mean, positive feedback is good, and I appreciate the support, but...I'm just not goin' out of my way to encourage it, ya know what I mean?

Especially when Azkath mentioned that adding Josh to the mix would be like adding meat to a cake sandwich...

Not for all money in the world, o Demon...Moving on to a fun topic, and one that I'm really excited about, we briefly discussed Azkath's next indie film, "Necro Zombies From Beyond Space". Now, he's been working on this movie for awhile, and we had all hoped to have helped him finish it last year, but it just didn't work out. However, things have actually fallen into place nicely over the past few months, and the project is very close to being completed!

Not gonna ruin the story for you, but I will say that if you follow either The Metallic Onslaught or The Last Exit For The Lost, you won't be overly surprised by some of the humor, and you'll see plenty of familiar faces from both shows, as well as some local musical talent in various roles.

It's been a lot of fun taking part in this thing, and I can't wait to see the finished product! I'm sure we'll have more to say on the subject as it gets nearer to completion!


Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

September 29, 2012 - Stygian Visit

Listen to the Show

Playlist

Ire Clad-Force it Down
The Sword-Winter's Wolves
Witchcraft-Ghost House
Metallica-Orion
Metallica-Trapped Under Ice
Judas Priest-Bloodstone
Death Angel-Voracious Souls
Spater-Rat Salad
Alice in Chains-Angry Chair
Cradle of Filth-Hell Awaits
Burn Everything-Maintain Radio Silence
Burn Everything-Vengance and the Night Sky
Stygian-Unholy
Stygian-Believe in Nothing
Paradise Lost-Crucify
Mercyful Fate-Curse of the Pharaohs
Mercyful Fate-Into the Coven
Mercyful Fate-Black Funeral
Stygian-Unholy live
Stygian-Seventh Kingdom
Tankard-Son of a Fridge
Iron Maiden-Killers
Hate Machine-Bring in the Butcher
Stygian-Divinity
Saturnian-Aphotic
Metallica-The Four Horseman
Encrust-Shrieking Infestation
Encrust-Tapeworms
Witchcraft-White Light Suicide
Stygian "Breaking Away"
Loopus "Schitzo"
Nine Treasures "For Whom the Bell Tolls"
Void Moon "On the Blackest of Nights"
Between the Buried and Me"
Vision of Disorder "Annihilator"
Holy Dragons "Project A119"
Sinister "Unheavenly Domain"
Flotsam and Jetsam "Suffer the Masses"
Agent Steel "Nothin Left"
Sanctuary "Die for My Sins"
Helstar "Leather and Lust"
Hades "In the Mean Time"
Mekong Delta "Confession of Madness"
Tourniquet "Spectrophbic Dementia"
Target "Nuclear Waste"
Gregorian "Close My Eyes Forever"
Eluivetie "Lament"
___________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf

Jesus Christ, the damned month's over! Where the hell does the time go? Damn, I'm gettin' old...

So, Joe was enjoying some vacation time this week, leaving Rick in charge. Meaning, of course, that Murphy's Law was going to take full advantage of us. Yep, if something could have gone wrong, it seemed to be doing just that, and all with a band in the studio!

But, we muscled on through, got things sorted out, and eventually we were able to just kick back and enjoy playing some kick-ass music .Nope, not a perfect show, but then, hey, I kinda think perfection is sorely over-rated sometimes...

Stygian joined us in the studio with a very cool selection of demo tracks.

Crazy how things come together in just a matter of a few months. Back in May, the members of Stygian were without a vocalist, and it had been stated that they'd be hoping to find one at Finger Lakes Metal Fest. And, as it turned out, it was there that HorseFace bassist/vocalist Jesse Halstead had been approached about being the new singer for Stygian.

Now, anybody who's heard Jesse sing can tell you that this choice was a no-brainer. The guy has an incredible voice, and an extremely impressive range. His style is more than suitable for Stygian's sound, and I for one am really excited to see where all this is going to lead in the coming months.Check 'em out!

No Jeffie this week, but Ken Smith (who's joined us here and on The Last Exit on more than one occasion) had joined us, bearing a gift of warm, steamy, and oh so tasty venison tenderloin. Damn, that was some good stuff.

Yep, the Metallic Onslaught, the only radio show in the area where we will fully admit that we're eating ROADKILL DEER!

It's all good, not like it was a gory, squishy roadkill. I understand that the corpse was highly intact when it was found in Rick's driveway, and it was fully capable of consumption.

Mmmmmmm...

Azkath was on hand, and for some reason I had a couple of blackout moments. I even ended up having a repeat of a moment I had on the Last Exit where I could have sworn there was a gorgeous redhead in the studio. On both occasions I wasted no time offering to give her a back massage, only to discover it was actually...Ken...

Ummmm...I don't wanna think about that anymore...

And, from there, I apparently flipped out again when there was some mention of eight owls and dead hawks.

Ive gotten the impression that my little "moments" are actually getting worse. Scary, especially knowing that I have absolutely no recollection of my behavior. I mean, with Halloween approaching, who knows what else could possibly go wrong?

I should also mention that, according to Azkath, Jeffie had been sent off to Lake George to visit Joe. Bear in mind that Joe was on vacation at this time, and was probably not very receptive to a visit from ANY of us. I'm pretty sure we'll be feeling the repercussions from this on our next show...


Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

September 22, 2012 - Where did Frank Go?

Listen to the Show

 Playlist
Kyng - Pushing And Pulling
Before The Dawn - Throne Of Ice
Cutty Sark - Hardrock Power
Dokken - Victim Of The Crime

Re-Machined - Pictures Of Home
Black Country Communion - Confessor
Tygers Of Pan Tang - Man On Fire
Skalmold - Midgardsormur

Steve Harris - The Chosen Ones
Candlemass - The Killing Of The Sun
Deceased - The Luck Of The Corpse
Deceased - Torn Apart By Werewolves

Becoming The Archetype - The Weapon Breaker
Between The Buried And Me - Lay Your Ghosts To Rest
Prototype - Into oblivion
Scum Of The Earth - Zombie Apocalypse

Engel - Cash King
Where Hope Resides - Clocks
Tiamat - Thunder & Lightning
Local H - They Saved Reagan's Brain
Beyond All Recognition - What We'll Die To Defend

MX Machine - Devils Highway
Korn - Shoots And Ladders
Korn - One
Cloudscape - Pull The Brake
Bullet - All Fired Up
Black September - Solitude

The Amity Affliction - R.I.P. Bon
NettleCarrier - The Boiling Point
Bane - As Chaos Rises
Backhill Project - Power Of The Night
The Gardnerz - Transilvanian Hunger

The Graviators - Feelin' Low
Admiral Sir Cloudesley Shovell - The Last Run
The Last Vegas - Evil Eyes
Vision of Disorder - Annihilator
Encrust - Grime Maidens
Hate Machine - Anger Is King
Nine Round - Comics And Columns

Saltillo - Gatekeepers
Cutty Sark - Die Tonight
Mongrel - The More I Bleed
Stolen Babies - Mousefood
Devin Townsend Project - True North

Down - Misfortune Teller
As I Lay Dying - Defender
Judas Priest - Bloodstone

Hooded Menace - In The Dead We Dwell
Pro-Pain - A Good Day To Die    
_____________________________________

 Recap by The Metal Wulf

 So, last week's show ended with Joe in complete ecstasy after a Jeffie massage. Seriously, from where I was sitting, it sounded like one of those Happy Ending moments. Hell, even Rick said it sounded like there was some Man-Love goin' on! And Joe DID seem a little evasive regarding the topic...

And this week, it was Josh's turn! Yep, somebody made the observation that Josh had sounded like he'd made pudding in his pants following a Jeffie massage. I'd never seen Josh so relaxed in my life!

Okay, while I'm at it, I may as well tackle this topic.

Seriously, we may have actually found a use for Jeffie. I think he'd make a great masseuse for the Metallic Onslaught. No bullshit, the guy has got some amazing skills when it comes to back massaging. The trouble is, he tries to wander away from the back, and tries to focus on places that don't require that kind of attention.

I'm thinking if we keep the guy focused, he'll do just fine!

There was further discussion involving the Lyons Zombie Walk on October 20. I'm really looking forward to taking part in this, to be perfectly honest. However, I can personally assure everybody that I will NOT be incorporating a Zombie-kini in my costume scheme, and definitely not a a Zombie Banana Hammock. I'm pretty confident that I'll be fully clothed, if not a little tattered and bloody and pale...which is kind of the general idea...

For those interested, there's a $5.00 admission fee if you donate two cans of food, otherwise you can take part for $10.00. This is going to be a great time, and I'd love to see a huge turnout for this!

Music-related topics centered on Steve Harris' (Iron Maiden) solo album, British Lion. In a nutshell...I'm actually kinda sorry to say that most of us are pretty underwhelmed. Not to say that it's terrible musically, but I think we all agreed that a better vocalist could have been acquired. I mean, how do you go from recording with Bruce Dickinson to...that...

Yep, just wasn't feelin' it...

And then there's Between The Buried And Me, who I just can't seem to fully embrace. Trust me, I fully respect them as musicians, but I just can't listen to them for long without wanting to tear my brain out...

One of the stranger moments of the evening came when Jeffie wanted to know where Frank was. I have no earthly idea who this Frank is, but apparently he's a little guy that is supposed to live under my left man-boob.

Trust me, there's nothing under there that shouldn't be there...I assure you...

A discussion of Jeffie's body odor resulted in both Josh and I getting Pit Stops (think WWF, Nasty Boys...), which is an experience I fully could have done without. Really would rather not experience that anytime soon.

And then there was a comment made about walking on the sun. Apparently Jeffie feels that if we've been on the moon, maybe we should attempt to try the sun next. He even seems confident that if we did it at night, nobody would burn up.

Yeah, you go right on ahead and test that theory, Jeffie old boy...good luck with that...
_________________________________________


Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,

September 15, 2012 - The MO Massage Therapist

Listen to the Show - Two 15 minutes blocks are missing from the show. Sorry, out of our control.

Playlist
Testament - Man Kills Mankind
Dokken - Broken Bones
The Last Vegas - Beat To Hell
Kiss - Hell Or Hallelujah
SouthWicked - Graveyard Of Bones

Judas Priest - Screaming For Vengeance
Judas Priest - Riding On The Wind
Tracer - Too Much
Y&T - Hurricane
Graviators - Forlorn

Castle - Alcatraz
Lynch Mob - Sucka
Down - This Work Is Timeless
Dew-Scented - Thrown To The Lions
Dust Bolt - March Thru Pain
Striker - Terrorizer

As I Lay Dying - Defender
Witch Cross - Alien Savage
Acid Witch - Rabid Werewitch
Stolen Babies - Dried Moat
Mongrel - Zombies Of War
Deceit - Wolfman

Admiral Sir Cloudesley Shovell - Devils Island
Encrust - Cult Of The Cross
The Chariot - Tongues
I Am War - A Nightmare
Vision Of Disorder - Hard Times
The Faceless - Ten Billion Years

Devin Townsend Project - Liberation
Hirax - The Mouth Of The Beast
Kix - Midnight Dynamite
Pride Of Lions - Tie Down The Wind
Eminence - Written In Dust
Destinity - Reap My Scars

Megadeth - Hook In Mouth
Alice In Chains - Sickman
Down - Open Coffins
Meathook Seed - My Infinity
Obituary - Final Thoughts
Black Sabbath - Die Young

Pro-Pain - Bloodlust For War
Hooded Menace - Summoned Into Euphoric
Kill Ritual - Coat Of Blood
Texas In July - Bed Of Nails

Vio-lence - Calling The Coroner
Nile - Supreme Humanism Of Meglomania
Ektomorf - Never Surrender
All Hail The Yeti - Bloodguilt
Widow Sunday - Open Eyes
Vore - The Unseen Hand

Hate Machine - Bring In The Butcher
Deceased - Shrieks From The Hearse
Harm - Another Conspiracy
Vision Of Disorder - Blood Red Sun
________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf;

Last night pretty much drove the fact home for me. Yep, summer is pretty well dead and gone for this year, like it or not. As a matter of fact, our show next week will likely coincide nicely with the Autumn Equinox.

Not to get overly depressed at the thought, early topics rouched on the upcoming Holiday season.

First of all, Rick mentioned an upcoming Zombie Walk that will take place in Newark next month. Can't remember the specific date as of this writing, but I'll be keeping everybody up to date on this, as it seems at least a couple of us Onslaught folks will be taking part.

This event will also feature a "Thriller" dance-off contest...which, I personally guarantee, will feature absolutely NOBODY from the Metallic Onslaught. Nope, don't care how funny it may look, but it just ain't happening. No Moon-Walking for me, thanks...and certainly NO BUTT CLAPS, either, as discussed on the show...

We'd made a discovery that Oreo was releasing a limited edition cookie with a Candy Corn-inspired middle. Let's face it, when it comes to Halloween treats, candy corn really wasn't what you wanted to have a bag full of at the end of the night. I mean, personally, I never hated it, but there was better stuff to be had, for sure. The rest of the crew all agreed that they HATED candy corn.

This, of course, led to a further discussion of what exactly candy corn was made of, which I believe Josh was going to research. Unfortunately, I don't remember any further discussion on this topic, 'cuz we'd moved on to the subject of Christmas.

(Yeah, I know, nobody wants to think about it, but look around, folks, it's slowly rearing it's head, like it or not...)

So, really, how DOES Santa pack so much into that giant sack of his? We spent a good portion of a talk break discussing things that Joe had received one Christmas, mostly Star Wars toys (LARGE Star Wars toys...), and we were quite frankly amazed that Santa could carry soooooo much in that big ol' sack of his.

I should stress that there was some concern over Santa's sack being so big and red, but we also established that at least it wasn't blue...in which case, perhaps Mrs. Claus needed to take care of her man just a little better...

Jeffie had arrived following his visit to last night's 2CW show in Auburn, NY. Yes, our 2CW friends were once again setting up a ring right in the middle of Suzy's Tavern and providing a fun-filled evening of wrestling action. Crazy how they're able to do this. Bear in mind, when they were there earlier in the year, they actually had a Steel Cage match in the bar! Crazy...

But, yes, Jeffie was all pumped up, having met WWE Hall Of Famer "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. Hell, personally, I can understand his excitement, people generally loved Hacksaw back in the day. Not one of the most innovative ring talents of his time, but definitely a highly charismatic and entertaining individual.

There was a little concern later on when Rick, Josh, and Arydaea ( aka. Foul Mouth Girl) were found to be MIA. Jeffie took advantage of this disappearance to take his place in "The Rick Hole". This eventually led to some bad things happening, which further snow-balled into catasrophic results for Jeffie later in the evening....

In a nutshell, while the others were gone, Jeffie took a moment to stuff both Rick's cell phone AND his laptop down his pants. Seriously, it's AMAZING what this guy can put in his pants. If I hadn't ever seen it for myself, I'd NEVER beleive it. It's absolutely MIND-BOGGLING, I tell you!

Anyhoo, Rick, Josh, and FMG returned, and chaos ensued as soon as Rick found out the fate of his cell phone.Yep, he pummeled the living shit out of Jeffie, one of the worst beatings I've ever seen the guy get. Honestly, I think it was on a par with the beatdown he received from "Bad Boy" Barry Hardy and "Mean" Mike.

And that was just for the cell phone!

Imagine the beatdown that occurred when Rick found out that his laptop had made it's way into that Nether Realm known as "Jeffie's Pants"!

In fact, Jeffie was so worried that Rick would find out about the laptop that he actually tried distracting Joe from sharing that info. Yep, Joe would try to say something, and Jeffie would start giving Joe a massage!

Frighteningly enough...Joe actually seemed to be enjoying it! I mean, he obviously didn't WANT to like it, but apparently Jeffie was hitting some troublesome areas, and Joe seemed to be finding it pleasurable.

Rick eventually heard the truth about the matter from me, and once again, a beatdown commenced. Yep, bad night for Jeffie...

And yet, in the end, it seemed to be a very good night for Joe, as Jeffie continued massaging him.

Ultimately it seemed that, whether he actually wanted it or not, despte his best efforts to resist, Joe was well on this way to concluding the show with a Happy Ending... courtesy of Jeffie.

At least that's what it sounded like from where I was sitting..

Rest assured that there will very likely be repercussions in the coming weeks...


Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)
Return top