Metallic Onslaught Show Archive

Recap by The Metal Wolf; I can't even begin to describe how good it felt to finally return to the show last night. More than anything, I think this was probably the biggest sign yet that my recovery is nearing its' end, and joining everybody once again just felt like the most natural thing in the world!

We were a little concerned early in the night due to the lack of Josh in the studio. We were discussing the possibility of sending out a St. Bernard or two to track him down in the crappy weather, but he finally made it! It was kinda nice to know he hadn't been buried under all the snow that was falling, or turned into a Josh-sicle thanks to the freezing temperatures.

A little strange last night, I must say. We had a few things pop up that I'm pretty sure could be taken as signs of the Apocalypse, and I'm going to summarize them here:

First off, there seemed to be an infestation of barking spiders and mice on motorcycles. Not only do these things make a highly distinctive sound, but they also leave behind a highly offensive odor. I suppose it could be chalked up to Rick's love of Taco Bell, though, so I consider these to be relatively minor Apocalyptic signs.

Then there was the Winger song, "Stone Cold Killer". I swear, if I hadn't heard it from Joe himself and personally seen the CD, I never would have believed this was an actual Winger song, not in a million years. Who would've thought that Kip Winger could actually make somewhat good music? Surely, it's a sign of the Apocalypse!

Then, amazingly, Joe joined Josh and I in the other room for a talk break. Seemed a little strange to have him slumming it, but still, pretty cool nonetheless. Another sign that I would consider relatively minor.

On top of that, Josh, Rick and I all agreed that we kind of missed Jeffie last night. Didn't seem quite right to not have him there. Joe seemed mortified that we were lamenting Jeffie's absence. Okay, I can see where that could be considered unnatural, so it must be a further sign that the End is near!

Another minor sign could be my slip of the tongue last night, as I dropped an S-bomb later in the evening. I'm usually very careful not to curse on the show, but last night I said "shit"... Aw, hell, let's just chalk that one up to carelessness on my part, and I just need to buckle down a little more. It's pretty easy to get in a comfortable mind-frame and forget yourself sometimes...

Probably the biggest shocker of the evening came during a discussion of of Keel. Seems they're collaborating on some music with the vocalist from Air Supply...
Now, bear something in mind here. Ron Keel went to playing country-western music in the Nineties under the name Ronnie Lee Keel, and eventually returned to his hard-rocking ways. But the vocalist from Air Supply? Nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING, good can possibly come as a result of this unholy union. This, more than anything else last night, is a sure sign of the Apocalypse.

On that note, let me just say that it may be time to duck and cover, my friends. Bend over and kiss your asses goodbye, because I strongly fear that the End Is Nigh!!!

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