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August 3, 2013 - Catching Up with Old Friends

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Playlist
Fueled By Fire - Symbolic Slaying
Trouble - Hunters Of Doom
Candlemass - Demon's Gate
Lord Dying - Value Of Pity

Chimaira - Love Soaked Death
Rammimg Speed - Ashes
Pamela Moore - Breaking Down
iwrestledabearonce - I'd Buy That For A Dollar
Trivium - Brave This Storm
Norma Jean - Funeral Singer

Dream Death - Feast
Exhumed - The Rotting
Mammoth Grinder - Born In A Bag
Revocation - Dyers Eve
Wound - Confess To Filth

Tarja - 500 Letters
DevilDriver - The Appetite
Duskmachine - Dying In My Skin
Siren's Cry - Serpents Of War

Counterparts - Wither
AC/DC - Girls Got Rhythm
The Defiled - As I Drown
Temple Of Thieves - Pull Me Under
Doyle - Mark Of The Beast
Hate - Hatehammer

The Winery Dogs - The Dying
Spirits Of The Dead - Red Death
Deadlock - Darkness Devine
Potential Threat - Beneath The Surface
A Sound Of Thunder - Queen Of Hell

Racer X - Sacrifice
Seven Witches - Riders Of Doom
Mercia - Misery Dispenser
The Burial - Wretched Restless Forms
Airbourne - Ready To Rock
Newsted - Twisted Tail Of Comet
Sirenia - Cold Caress

Second Empire - Birth Of The Empire
From Space - We Are From Space
As They Burn - Isis
Never The Sunshine - Superstar
Jorn - Monsoon
Huntress - Receiver

Korgull The Exterminator - Metal Fist Destroyer
Fueled By Fire - Rotten Creation
Armed For Apocalypse - Open Wound
Havok - Children Of The Grave
Phil Anselmo - Bedridden

Dr. Know - War Theater
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Recap by The Metal Wulf

We had Jane Evile drop in for a bit, and she shared her experience of performing at the 2013 Women's Right To Rock Festival with her new band, A Taste Of Evil.
Sadly we missed out on that show, as it fell on a Friday night. We told her she should see about performing on Saturday night should she return for next year's show.
As it turns out, we'll be getting to check her band out well before next summer, as A Taste Of Evil has just recently been added to play the Heavy Metal Halloween Bash at the Eagle Hotel in Lodi on October 26. Spater will be hosting the event, and it will also feature J.A.C.K., Ire Clad, Psychopath, Thoughts In Reverse, and Sabbatage (a Black Sabbath tribute band featuring former Awaken bassist, Freddy Villano).
Should be a good time, so mark your calendar now. Halloween's NOT that far off, when ya get right down to it!

We had another visitor on hand that night, one Shawn-Marie Simmons, whose last name was Terry when I knew her many, many moons ago. 
Yep, Joe and I both know Shawn from our college days. As a matter of fact, it had been almost 25 years since I'd last seen her. Had a great time catching up with her, without a doubt. We even shared some stories about college experiences, most noteworthy being the tale of a certain trip to New York City with The R.A.T. (Radio And Television) Guild. Couldn't really go into full detail about the trip while on the air, but I'm thinking of recording an edition of Randy's Rants to share some of the things that weren't radio friendly.



There was also a brief and bizarre discussion regarding my supposed pansexualism. Literally, Azkath was wondering exacly what I would be married to, assuming the urge ever struck me. 
Hey, Demon, I'll make it easy for ya. I'm pretty sure SHE would be human...


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July 27, 2013 - Tim and White Lion

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 Playlist
Venom - Don't Burn The Witch
Lord Dying - Greed Is Your Horse
Burndwiller - Slobbering Souls
Order Of The Dead - Neurot/Despot

Trouble - One Life
Korgull The Exterminator - Korgull The Exterminator
Lords Of Trident - Complete Control
Castleumbra - Realm Of Utumno

Airbourne - Firepower
Dream Death - You're Gonna Die Up There
I Killed Everyone - Born Of The Abattoir
Seven Witches - Nightmare Man
Mercia - The Necromancer

Spater - The Brady Bunch
Fueled By Fire - Rotten Creation
Tarja - Victim Of Ritual
Gorguts - Forgotten Arrows

Spater - Pummeled
Jorn - Carry The Black
Annihilator - Alison Hell
The Burial - Itching Ears
Doyle - Headhunter

Chimaira - No Mercy
Kingshifter - Peace Of Mind
Tyr - Blood Of Heroes
Violator - Dead To This World
Mercenary - Dreamstate Machine

As They Burn - Frozen Vision
Goatess - Full Moon At Noon
A Sound Of Thunder - Queen Of Hell
Battlecross - Ghost Alive
Chthonic - Set Fire To The Island

Sirenia - The Funeral March
Huntress - Destroy Your Life
Deadlock - Dead City Sleepers
Newsted - Twisted Tail Of The Comet
Potential Threat - Behold The End
Heaven+Earth - Back In Anger
Spirits Of The Dead - Rumours Of A Presence

W.A.S.P. - The Real Me
Heretic - Let 'Em Bleed
Hey! Hello! - Feral Days
Candlemass - Under The Oak
Gwar - Madness At The Core Of Time
Long Since Dark - Feeding Blood To The Earth

L.S.D. - Tank
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Recap by The Metal Wulf

We'd discussed getting to see Howl and Lord Dying at The Bug Jar in Rochester the night before. Great show, with local support from Burndwiller and Order Of The Dead. All four band just freakin' killed it, definitely a good time!
We were also able to score an interview with all four members of Lord Dying.



David Henninger from Spater joined us for a couple of hours to bring us up to speed on what promises to be a very cool show in Lodi on October 26, at the Eagle Hotel. Spater will be hosting a Heavy Metal Halloween Bash (to be emceed by the Metallic Onslaught crew), an event that will be free AND open to all ages, and will feature some prize giveaways and, of course, costume judging!
(Amusing side note: It was mentioned that my costume would probably include my man-kini and possibly some of the Brony gear I used on No Pants Day. Don't worry about that happening...my costume for this year has been pretty much planned out since last Halloween, and will be both man-kini and Brony free, I assure you!)
The line-up, as it stands, will be Spater, Ire Clad, J.A.C.K., Thoughts In Reverse, Psychopath, and a Black Sabbath tribute band called Sabotage.
This show should be a blast, so mark your calendar NOW!

Tim Binder had joined us once again, actually just a night or two after he got to meet White Lion's Mike Tramp at a show...somewhere...hmmmm...oh well, doesn't matter who or where the show was, we promptly started busting Tim's balls regarding White Lion. 
Now, I've never heard White Lion's first album. I've heard that it's actually a really good, straight-forward hard rock/metal album. Sadly, my exposure to White Lion came around the time that "Wait" and "When The Children Cry" were on MTV...and I HATED them...almost as much as Bon Jovi...
(But not as much as Winger...as there are none so despised as Winger...)
So, yeah, there was some discussion back and forth, both for and against White Lion. It all seems pretty silly at this juncture...but silliness is one of those things that we're REALLY good at, so it all worked out for the better, I suppose.
Anyhoo, a further trip into the horrors that are in Tim's Ipod revealed not only White Lion, but bands such as Tyketto, Tuff, Tori Amos (Azkath promptly slapped me upside the head for being able to identify the song "Raspberry Swirl"...), 'Til Tuesday, and Thompson Twins...
Sigh...to each their own, I guess...

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July 20, 2013 - What's on Tim's iPod?

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Playlist
Doyle - Abominator
Potential Threat - Rise Of The Apocalypse
Manegarm - Forged In Fire
Diamond Plate - Walking Backwards
Ares Kingdom - Without Warning
Ares Kingdom - Tooth And Nail

Black Tusk - In Days Of Woe
Karnivool - Aeons
Seven Witches - Stand Or Fall
Serianna - Snake Oil Salesman
Skiltron - The Swordmaker

DevilDriver - Ruthless
Born Of Osiris - Machine
We Came As Romans - I Am Free
Soul Embraced - Like A Corpse
Erimha - Bewildering Nightmare

Amon Amarth - Burning Anvil Of Steel
Lord Dying - Summoning The Faithless
Chthonic - Rage Of My Sword
All Hail The Yeti - After The Great Fire
Carcass - Captive Bolt Pistol

Heretic - Whitechapel
Heretic - Enemy Within
Havok - Chasing The Edge
Battlecross - Flesh & Bone
Newsted - Nocturnus
Trouble - The Broken Have Spoken

Diamond Plate - Rainmaker
Mercenary - Through Our Darkest Days
True Widow - Numb Hand
Damien Deadson - All Hail The Great Destroyer
Butcher Babies - Dead Poet

Mercia - Olmek The Usurper
Nihilist - Terminus
The Burial - Itching Ears
Annihilator - Phantasmagoria
Sword - Stoned Again

Max Havoc - I'm The Show
Witch Cross - Bird Of Prey
Philip H. Anselmo And The Illegals - Bedroom Destroyer
Screamer - Demon Rider

Deadlock - The Final Storm
volto! - Whopner
Spirits Of The Dead - Wheels Of The World
Jorn - Traveller

Ares Kingdom - The Captive
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Recap by The Metal Wulf

Truth is, I don't really remember too much about what happened on the night of the 19th.
I mean, I do remember Rick and Josh discussing Mayhem Fest at Darien Lake, where they were able to not only interview a member of Battlecross, but they also got to talk to two members of Butcher Babies. Pretty cool if ya ask me! 
Above and beyond that...It's kinda blurry...





I remember Tim Binder returning that night, as he does during the summer months. And I remember Joe going through Tim's Ipod, discovering the horrors that lied within. Not to say that all of the music in Tim's Ipod sucks, but some of it...more than a few bands, quite frankly...
Did I mention that we really do like Tim?
Okay, far be it from me to knock another person's musical tastes. Let's face it, I've been told my tastes suck more than a few times over my four years on the show. Kinda used to it. I generally just like to leave it that we all liike what we like, even if it's not hard rock or metal.
(Hillary Duff? WTF?)
It's all good, really!
But, yeah, I do remember Tim's balls getting busted pretty harshly regarding the contents of that Ipod...

What I DON'T remember is saying that Jackyl was the greatest band ever, and all other bands fell short in comparison. But...apparently I made some statements that suggested just that...
Yup, seems that I stated that Jackyl were the only perfect band, making them awesome, and there was no other band in the world that even came close to that awesomeness.
And yet...I don't remember saying a word of it...weird...

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July 13, 2013 - What Jeffie Swallowed...

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 Playlist
KISS - Young And Wasted 
KISS - Carr Jam 1981 
Manegarm - Hordes Of Hel 
Alice In Chains - Lab Monkey 

Judas Priestess - Hellion/Electric Eye 
Jorn - Cancer Demon 
Trouble - Sucker 
Philip H. Anselmo and The Illegals - Music Media Is My Whore 
Witch Cross - Axe To Grind 
Church Of Void - Son Of A Witch 

Havok - It Is True 
Moon Curse - Medicinecoma 
A Sound Of Thunder - Hello Nurse 
Sirenia - Cold Caress 
Lord Dying - Descend Into External 
Tank - Conflict Primeval 

They Might Be Zombies - Headshot 
Speedtrap - Battle Cry 
UnSaid Fate - Our Addiction 
Powerwolf - Nightcrawler 

Mercia - Misery Dispenser 
Goatess - Tentacles Of Zen 
Deep Purple - Perfect Strangers 
Tear Out The Heart - Only Posers Die 
Terror - Live By The Code 
Spirts Of The Dead - Song Of Many Reefs 

Butcher Babies - In Denial 
Queensryche - Vindication 
Max Pie - Earth's Rules 
Judas Priestess - You Got Another Thing Coming 

As They Burn - When Everything Falls Apart 
The Burial - Wretched Reckless Forms 
Scorpion Child - Antioch 
Brutus - Mystery Machine 
Colossus - Superficial Savior 

Venom - Leave Me In Hell 
Huntress - Spectra Spectral 
Orphaned Land - The Simple Man 
Into The Flood - Sacrificing The Worm 
Venomous Maximus - The River 
Kalmah - windlake Tale 

Trouble - When The Sky Comes Down 
Gorguts - Oceans Of Wisdom 
Witch Cross - Demon In The Mirror 
Stone Magnum - Lonely God 

Psychopath - A Myth For The Ages 
Ramming Speed - Under The Monolith 
Pasadena Napalm Division - All Of A Sudden Dead 
Satan - Time To Die
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Recap by The Metal Wulf

It was just Joe and I in the early going of the show, as Rick and Josh had gone to check out the Mercia CD release party at Water Street Music Hall, meaning they'd be joining us later in the evening.

An early discussion centered on the return of Judas Priestess to Seneca Falls, where they were to perform for their second year straight at the Women's Right To Rock Festival. Naturally, we were all pretty pumped up for the return of these ladies, especially considering that they were bringing along a new guitar player.

We were also intrigued by the fact that Judas Priestess would be followed up by a burlesque act to close out the evening.

Joe seemed a little worried that perhaps I wouldn't be able to restrain myself during the burlesque portion of the evening, and he didn't seem at all convinced when I told him I had better self control than that.

As a matter of fact, he had this image in his head of me running up to the stage in my mankini, and ultimately ending the evening by getting arrested.

Then he went on to mention how cool it would be for that to happen, and that I'd be able to give them an interview from my jail cell. He also mentioned something about me becoming a human Oreo, but I honestly don't want to think about that...

Anyhoo, I'm happy to say that none of that happened. We had a good time, got our second interview with the ladies, and hung out chatting with them for a bit afterward.

It was also very cool to have Dream Theater's John Petrucci in Seneca Falls, as well, as he was on hand to support his wife, Rena, who just so happens go be the previously mentioned new guitar player in Judas Priestess. 

COOL!

Azkath dropped in briefly. Very briefly, in fact. 

To be perfectly honest, he seemed to have dropped in just long enough to interrogate some of us as to our whereabouts on the night of July 6. Seems that some goof in a mask (calling himself Darksyde), broke into The Last Exit For The Lost that night and wreaked some form of havok, possibly abducting Justjoe...I can't remember, really...

Anyhoo, whatever form of mischief it was, Azkath proceeded to beat the crap out of me, to make sure that I wasn't Darksyde. I assured him (over and over again...) that I had gone to Gigantour that night, and that it wasn't me behind the raid. Fact is, Rick, Josh, Bill, and myself were all at Gigantour, so it couldn't have been any of us.

Whoever it was, I sure wouldn't want to be him...

Jeffie had dropped by once again, looking for revenge for the beatdown he'd gotten with all that styrofoam he'd brought with him the week before. 

This time he brought along an implement of violence that most of us dread. Not because it's overly brutal or intimidating...it's just...very...very...

...awkward...

So, it was with Dickbat (literally, a Whiffle bat with a plastic penis duct-taped to it...) that Jeffie attempted to deliver retribution. Thankfully I was able to get it away from him (because it's just weird having that thing flying at any part of your body...), and proceeded to pummel him back. During the scuffle, Jeffie proceed to wrench the dick from the bat, which really didn't make the situation any less awkward, because now Jeffie was running around with a small plasic cock in his hand...

So, if that weren't bad enough, Jeffie also mentioned that he was charging me for services rendered on No Pants Day.

Yeah, he's CHARGING me for the beatdown he and JustJoe gave me, if you can believe that. He wants $50.00 for enacting that hate crime upon my person, all because he claims to have been SAVING me from my Brony-ism.

I guess I just have to wait and see what happens when I don't pay...

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July 6, 2013 - Jayne Evil, Mercia and Order of the Dead

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Playlist
A Sound Of Thunder - Queen Of Hell
Karnivool - We Are
Powerwolf - Headless Cross
Stone Magnum - The Gallows Of Ohrdruf

Lord Dying - Water Under A Burning Bridge
Tear Out The Heart - Coffin Eyes
The Burial - Of Jasper And Carnelian
Tank - Retribution
Carnivore - Inner Conflict
Huntress - Running Wild

Carcass - Captive Bolt Pistol
Deeds Of Flesh - Hollow Human Husks
Blood Red Throne - Torturewhore
Autopsy - Coffin Crawlers
King Kobra - Running Wild

Mercia - The Necromancer
Order Of The Dead - What Humans Remain?
As They Burn - Frozen Vision
Havok - Under The Gun

Mercia - Exile In Ruin
Terror - The Most High
Spirits Of The Dead - Golden Sun
Jorn - Traveller
Goatess - Full Moon At Noon

Ire Clad - Blindside
Gorguts - Forgotten Arrows
Butcher Babies - Grim Sleeper
The Things They Carry - A Million Different Places

Satan - Personal Demons
Kalmah - Pikemaster
Scorpion Child - Liquor
Orphaned Land - Our Own Messiah
Beyond Creation - Social Disability
Amon Amarth - Father Of The Wolf

A Sound Of Thunder - Trashed
Moon Curse - Brontis
Extol - Ministers
Brutus - Crystal Parrot
High On Fire - 10,000 Years
Continents - Regrets

Queensryche - Spore
Into The Flood - By Way Of The Snake
Venomous Maximus - Path Of Doom
Lonewolf - Raise The Flag
Snow White's Poison Bite - Count Dracula Kid!

Angel Dust - To Dust You Will Decay



 Recap by The Metal Wulf
Started the evening out getting Hell from Joe. Seems that he was serious about me posing as his body double for a certain birthday party, which he ended up missing because of a banana that he ate. Guess it didn't agree with him...
Hey, what can I say? I thought he was just joking around about that whole body double thing, I swear!
Anyhoo, to placate him, I went ahead and told him my plans regarding No Pants Day 2014. I assured him that he wouldn't have to show up, I'd take his spot, and that by doing so, there was no chance of me ruining the night by running around half-naked again, because I'd actually be HIM, and not me...
He seemed very intrigued by the whole idea, so we'll see how things develop.

Jane Evile joined us in the studio to promote her upcoming gig this Friday night at Women's Right 2 Rock 2014, held in Seneca Falls, right by the canal. Jane's band, A Taste Of Evil, will go on at 10:00 p.m., closing out the first night of the three-day event.
Speaking of Women's Right 2 Rock, Judas Priestess will return on Saturday night, hitting the stage at 9:00 p.m. We're hoping to get another chance to talk with some of the ladies before the show, so keep your eyes peeled for a YouTube interview.



We also had members of both Mercia and Order Of The Dead drop by. They were promoting Mercia's CD release party at the Water Street Music Hall in Rochester this Friday night.
Seriously, between the Onslaught, Women's Right 2 Rock, and the Mercia CD release... that's plenty of things to keep you occupied on a Friday night! If you're not enjoying one, you should take in one of the others, without a doubt!

The only other notable happening of the evening happened when Jeffie returned to get revenge on me for not saving him from floating down the canal in Joe's birthday cake...
Really? Revenge? ON ME? After what he and JustJoe did to me on No Pants Day? That shithead's lucky I didn't stuff him in a crate and toss him in the canal again...
Unfortunately, what DID happen wasn't nearly as cool as that. Instead, there was a very messy beatdown with styrofoam. Lots and lots of styrofoam...hard as hell to clean up, to be honest...

So, I'm pretty sure there will be plenty of discussion on Gigantour, as more than a few of us were present when it rolled into Canandaigua this past Saturday. Honestly, it was a damned good show, and I'm looking forward to hearing what some of the rest of the guys thought!

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June 29, 2013 - Joe's Body Double


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Playlist
Scorpion Child - Salvation Slave 
Activator - ...the Whole Fuckin' Village 
Into The Flood - Eye For An Eye 
Orphaned Land - Let The Truce Be Known 

The Lone Tree In The Woods That Liked Us All - Realizing What Is Possible 
Newsted - Long Time Dead 
Autopsy - Running From The Goathead 
Every Knee Shall Bow - Slayers Of Eden 

Anacrusis - Terrified 
Kreator - Love Us Or Hate Us 
Piledriver - Witch Hunt 
Bloodfeast - Face Fate 
Bloodfeast - Blood Lust 

Butcher Babies - The Deathsurround 
Dream Death - Feast 
Darkane - Collapse Of Illusions 
Death Tyrant - Baphomet 

Queensryche - Vindication 
King Kobra - Deep River 
Mumakil - Redline 
Exhumed - Coins Upon The Eyes 
Jorn - Cancer Demon 

Extol - Open The Gates 
Fight Or Flight - Eraser 
Havok - Worse Than War 
Moon Curse - Northern High 
Venomous Maximus - Moon Child 
Brutus - Blue Pills 

Manowar - Gloves Of Metal 
Megadeth - Looking Down The Cross 
Exodus - And The There Were None 
Iron Maiden - Aces High 
Motorhead - Deaf Forever 

Satan - Incantations 
Anger As Art - Anger Is The Reason 
Beyond Creation - No Request For The Corrupted 
Entombed - Stranger Aeons 
The Black Dahlia Murder - Goat Of Departure 
Anvil - Hard Wired 

Spirits Of The Dead - Golden Sun 
Kalmah - Deadfall 
Revocation - The Hive 
Ramming Speed - Gorgon's Eye 
My Funeral - Thrash Winter 

Hellrider - Murders In Crystal Lake 
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Recap by The Metal Wulf

Hard to believe, but the year is already half over. Boggles the mind sometimes...

Anyhow, we closed June 2013 out with, among other things, a discussion about one of the acts on the current season of America's Got Talent.

Funny thing...nobody expected death growls to come out of that little girls throat when she started singing. The expressions on the faces of those in the crowd (not to mention the judges...) were freakin' priceless, I've gotta say.

It'll be interesting to see what they bring to the table in the finals...

There was some mention about me being Joe's body double. Yeah, ridiculous notion, I know, but to hear it from him, it would be the most awesome thing in the world. I'd be his stand-in for work...for birthday parties or any other family functions he didn't care to attend...for softball games, on the days when it's too damned hot to be outdoors...

Riiiight...that's gonna happen...

Hell, Joe, I'll even go one better! I'll be your stand-in on the first Friday of May next year, that way you won't have to endure No Pants Day! I'll take the show over that night and nobody will know the difference!

HEHHEHEHHEHEHEH...

We celebrated Fire Eater Wizard's birthday with a special set of music, and capped it off with a very moving rendition of "Happy Birthday", courtesy of me. Grammy-quality work, I assure you...

And, to wrap things up, in the last half hour of the show...well, I don't really remember how this came up...but Josh totally lost it when Joe said something about Turd Ferguson...whoever that's supposed to be...

Honestly...I don't think I've ever heard Josh laugh so loudly without being tickled.

I guess he just finds humor in turds... 

Anyhow, on the next installment of the Onslaught, we'll be having Jane Evile on hand. Been a couple of years since her last visit, so I'm betting there's going to be plenty for her to bring us up to date on!
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June 22, 2013 - Joe's Birthday

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Playlist
Dio - Fever Dreams
Queens of The Stone Age - I Sat By The Ocean
Jorn - I Came To Rock
Moon Curse - Black Elk

Metallica - Trapped Under Ice
Havok - Worse Than War
Darkane - Collapse Of Illusions
Brutus - Square Headed Dog
Amon Amarth - We Shall Destroy
Kalmah - Pikemaster

Extol - Behold The Sun
The Black Dahlia Murder - Phantom Limb Masterbation
Alice In Chains - Lab Monkey
Huntress - Destroy Your Life
Dream Death - Bludgeon

Wolf - A Dangerous Meeting
Scorpion Child - Salvation Slave
August Burns Red - Count It All As Lost
Anger As Art - Speed Kills

Satan - Time To Die
Into The Flood - Sufferer
Children of Bodom - Damaged Beyond Repair
A Pale Horse Named Death - The Needle In You
Evile - Skull
Anvil - Call Of Duty
The Quill - Freak Parade

Spirits Of The Dead - Song Of Many Reefs
Mumakil - Fresh Meat For The Grinder
King Kobra - The Crunch
Battlecross - Wage A War
Gutted - Collector Of Souls
Beyond Creation - Omnipresent Perception

White Wizzard - Kings Of The Highway
Queensryche - X2
Queensryche - Where Dreams Go To Die
Zed - Settle The Score
Megadeth - Kingmaker
Demon Lung - Eyes Of Zamiel

Pasadena Napalm Division - 100 Beers With A Zombie
Svartcrown - Genesis Architect
Colossus - Beacons
Disfigured Dead - Deranged Concecration
Yellowtooth - '75 Black Pontiac
Venomous Maximus - Father Time
Venomous Maximus - Dream Again

Revelation's Hammer - Buried As Filth
Kalmah - Windlake Tale
The Black Dahlia Murder - Control

Havok - Living Nightmare
   


 Recap by The Metal Wulf
Birthdays are a sure guarantee of carnage and chaos on the Onslaught, with our long-suffering host Joe Wyatt being the most recent celebrant.
Joe had mentioned the previous week that he'd like a visit from Sloth for his birthday, and Sloth didn't disappoint. Of course, in addition to Sloth, Seriah Azkath, Arydaea Insanity, and JustJoe (from The Last Exit For The Lost) had also joined us for the evening. 
As a matter of fact, according to Azkath, Arydaea was supposed to emerge from a cake. Joe was unconvinced, however, insisting that the cake probably had Jeffie in it. Azkath countered with assurances that the cake was too small to have Jeffie in it...but in the end, that's exactly who was in it...
Odd, I would have sworn Jeffie NEVER would have fit inside that thing...yet, he did...sort of...
Truth is, he almost made it out of the cake before he got stuck...and I mean FIRMLY stuck. There was absolutely NO getting him out without a lot of effort on our part.
Which, in the long run, really felt like way too much trouble and energy to expend on his stupid ass, so we just relocated him to another room and let him fend for himself. Truth is, last time I saw him, he'd somehow repositioned himself in the cake so that only his feet were sticking out. I think he may have been trying to eat his way free.
He's fine, though, no worries! I'm almost positive he'll be back without needing to clone him again...

 Thanks to Bill throwing me under the bus, word got back to Azkath that I had once again snuck in a cigarette. This led to an attack with the Pooh stick. That didn't sit well with me, because anybody who saw the last video segment to feature the Pooh stick knows where the thing had ended up. Yep, that same Pooh stick that Sloth violated himself with months ago on The Last Exit ended up getting shoved in my face, in and around my nose and mouth area, among other places that I'd rather not discuss.
Yeah, it was pretty bad... 

Further birthday shenanigans included a mouse trap toss. Literally, taking loaded mouse traps and tossing them at Sloth's tush. This eventually led to covering a portion of the floor in loaded mouse traps and tossing Sloth into them. 

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