Metallic Onslaught Show Archive

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; First and foremost, we had Stone Soul Foundation in the studio. As I mentioned in last weeks' recap, these guys will be releasing their new disc, Electric Valley, very shortly. It will also be available to order from CD Baby, if you're of a mind. I've got to say, the disc is incredible. If you're a fan of Seventies hard rock, you'll probably love Electric Valley. For me, it brings to mind bands like Deep Purple and Humble Pie, without actually sounding like either. It's just got that kind of great vibe to it, a flat-out smokin' album from front to back. Definitely gotta give major props to vocalist Sean Muldoon, who has one of the best voices I've ever heard in all my years as a fan of this music. No bullshit, not an attempt to kiss anyone's ass, the guy is just THAT frickin' good! In my book, he's right up there in the same league as Robert Plant, Ian Gillan, Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler, you get the idea, I'm sure! Yeah, check 'em out, if you haven't already!

So, once we got past the midnight hump, birthday greetings were in order as Josh turned another year older! He even ended up on the end of a birthday spanking courtesy of Bill, along with The Last Exit's Azkath. Within the next week, Rick will be celebrating a birthday as well, so he can probably look forward to similar treatment!

Above and beyond that, things got very confusing for me. Something went oddly wrong toward the end of the evening, and I can't quite place what happened. I seem to remember dreaming that I pushed Jeffie into a wood chipper, but Azkath assured me that I had actually killed Jeffie by beating him with a soda bottle, disemboweling him with fragments of a broken record, and then tearing him in half. Reminded of this, I was overwhelmed with guilt and ended up strongly lamenting the loss of Jeffie. I mean, really, how could I have done that? He was my best friend in the whole world, and I killed him! The Onslaught will never be the same without him! Seriously, I was fully prepared to find a bridge and join Jeffie, I felt so bad... Somehow, I got calmed down, so things are cool. Besides, I remembered something that Azkath had mentioned. He said he wouldn't send us another Jeffie unless we asked for it! So, maybe if I ask Azkath nicely...