Metallic Onslaught Show Archive

So, this show has some issues. For some reason, the last half hour of the broadcast seems to have gone dead. The internet feed continued, and thanks to a loyal fan, we were able to get a copy of the last two talk breaks. However, being recorded poorly from the internet, they sound pretty awful. You can pretty much make out what is going on, but it sounds bad. The songs are fine. We re-added those. So when you get to those breaks, now you know why they sound so poor. If anyone has a better copy, please get in touch.

Listen to the Show

Playlist;
Pagan's Mind - Walk Away In Silence
George Lynch - Rattlesnake
George Lynch - Sun
Gentlemans Pistols - Midnight Crawler

Pentagram - Everything's Turning To Night
Pentagram - Gorgon's Slave
Pentagram - Burning Saviour

Saxon - Back In 79
The Godz - Cross Country
Rival Sons - All Over The Road
Diamond Plate - Tomb With A view

Design The Skyline - Crystal Swords Kill The Hordes
Mastodon - Curl Of the Burl
Evile - Five Serpent's Teeth
Wolves Like Us - Deathless
Chimaira - Scum Of the Earth
Black Pyramid - Warswine

ICS Vortex - Odin's Tree
Jorn - We Brought The Angels Down
Nader Sadek - Sulffer
Eat The Gun - Give Sight To The Blind
Fleshgod Apocalypse - The Imposition

Bride - Evil That Men Do
Powerwolf - All We Need Is Blood
Powerwolf - Dead Boys Don't Cry
Jasta - Mourn The Illusion
Icon In Me - Aspects Of The Unknown
The Quill - More Alive

Sepultura - Embrace The Storm
Alice In Chains - A Looking In View
Trivium - Drowning In Slow Motion
Jungle Rot - Their Finest Hour
Slayer - Behind The Crooked Cross

The Browning - Bloodlust
The Devil Wears Prada - Born To Lose
Santa Hates You - Fire The Cannon
Evile - Descent Into Madness
Century - Painting Leprosy

2Cellos - Hurt
Who Cares - Out Of My Mind
DC4 - People
Mercyful Fate - Desecration Of Souls
Ziltoid The Omniscient - By Your Command

Amon Amarth - For Victory Or Death
KISS - Watchin' You
Ringworm - Used Up, Spit Out
Order Of The Dead - Bullets
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Recap by Randy, aka Wulfie, aka The Hoax Formerly Known As MetalWulf

Well, it sure was cool as HELL to be back on the show after a brief departure. You may remember that I missed a week due to work scheduling, and then the following week when Rick, Bill, Erica, and myself went to Ithaca to catch Sorrow Of Batavia with Of Wrath And Ruin, LAW, and Neon Guillotine. Great show, by the way, had a killer time!
You may also remember that I'd departed the show rather abruptly the last time I was on, thanks to a strange concoction that Jeffie added to my gum. More on that later, though...

Speaking of killer, we played the title track to Evile's upcoming new CD, "Five Serpents Teeth", and it was AMAZING! Can't wait for that disc to make it into my player, along with some of the other new releases we'll be looking at in upcoming weeks. September and October are going to be pretty overwhelming, and I'm lookin' forward to it!

We did some heavy promotion for the slew of upcoming shows, some of which have come and gone as of this writing. Hagefest ran the entire weekend, and Rick got to host it on Saturday. I'm sure he'll have some fun stories to share on the next show. Oh, it had actually been mentioned by Jeffie that Rick should host the Hagefest naked, after taking his Viagra/Ecstacy mix. Rick declined, I'm happy to say. I'm sure Hagefest thanks him...

Let's see, some of you may have checked out the return of Hate Machine, a band that I never really got to experience, to be honest. I DID get to see a version of the band that came later, when they started calling themselves Omniblank, though. Still, I'm betting that was a pretty damned good time for those who checked it out!
Bill, Erica, Josh, and Joe made it to the Montage this past Saturday to see Pentagram, and feedback from them has been very positive, especially concerning openers Valent Thorr. Sadly, I had to miss out, due to my work schedule for Sunday.
That's cool though, because I WAS on hand for last nights' Amon Amarth show, and it was KILLER! I don't think Water Street's gonna be the same for awhile, they may want to investigate the foundations for cracking...
Got some pretty cool video from that show, which you can see on my Facebook page, as well as the Metallic Onslaught's Facebook.  You can also see them on YouTube under metalwulff, which is the channel I share with Bill. Feel free to check it out!
Yep, and that was just the weekend. We've got MORE shows coming within just a few more days. Gonna be an insane week!

Anyway, moving along...

I got the guys laughing over my exploits with the cable company. Seriously, have you ever attempted to discontinue a service? Now, I understand they don't want to lose customers, but quite frankly I just didn't watch enough television to warrant paying the outrageous amount this particular company wanted. Believe me, I'm quite happy with my phone and internet, not to mention my growing library of DVD titles. Not to mention I like to read! I highly doubt I'm going to have a hard time finding entertainment.
But yeah, it was like pulling teeth convincing these people that I didn't need television. What got the guys laughing though, was my story of the package that was offered to me, which was better than the one I already had. Shouldn't be too hard to guess where certain minds went from there...
And as I said, I may have passed up a once in a lifetime chance for a permanent upgrade...damn...

So, onto this weeks' Jeffie antics. I'd been lookin' forward to seeing Jeffie. Needed to have a few words with him. Still need to reconcile a certain issue, and then some.
Before getting into that, though, I should mention that we'd had a visit from Lance. Yeah, believe it or not, Lance was on hand again! And it was his second week IN A ROW! Seems we'd missed out on hanging with him and Tim Binder on the previous week while we were in Ithaca.
Anyhoo, Jeffie didn't seem to know who Lance was. Kinda strange, because most Jeffie's retain their memories from clone to clone, or at least I always got the impression that they did. But, this one seemed to think Lance's name was actually Prance. And when Lance left, Jeffie escorted him out, and returned with a strange tale of a Puddle Monster that came up and dragged Prance...er, Lance...away.
We, of course, had to assure Jeffie that there were no Puddle Monsters and that Pra-..., um, Lance...was fine. Of course, you really can't convince Jeffie of anything, so what are ya gonna do?

Oh, and believe it or not, we at one point actually had TWO Jeffie's in the room. Yeah, go figure, it seems that Josh was right and that there really was a time-travelling Jeffie, who just happened to take a moment to come and meet with the Jeffie that's been hanging out with us recently.
Sorry, I'm getting a brain cramp...
Anyway, one Jeffie left, the other stayed, I'm not really sure which was which, so enough of that. It's all just really confusing...

So, I eventually told the tale of my experiences after being dosed with Jeffie's Viagra/Ecstacy mix. Which, by the way, had more than just Viagra and Ecstacy in it. Honestly, he mentioned some hallucinogens I had never even HEARD of...
Damn him...
So, here's the deal: Poor Bill had to follow me around Geneva as I suffered the effects of this hellish concoction. I don't think I've ever been that...uuuuummmmmmmmm...
oboy...
...AROUSED! Alright, what did you expect this stuff to do? Bad enough to be suffering the effects of Ecstacy, which I'd NEVER DONE BEFORE, but then he'd mixed it with Viagra!
VIAGRA!!!
Remember when I'd joked around the "package upgrade"? Well, guess what? THAT SHIT DID IT! It was freakish!
And of course, thanks to the hallucinogens, I apparently couldn't tell human from plant.
Dammit, that tree looked like it had a nice little ass, too...I mean, it was SHAPED kinda like a woman...
In the end I'm kind of grateful that the squirrel saw me coming. Boy, was he PISSED! But, it's all well and good. Nothing like an angry squirrel gnawing on your nuts to bring you back to reality, and QUICK!
Of course, that was about the time the police arrived. I've now been labeled a dendrophiliac, not to mention a threat to the natural order...

So, that was the story that was shared regarding THAT night...

Before the show finished, however, Jeffie poured a different concoction down my throat. Honestly, I did my best to convince him that there wasn't a drink in front of me, he couldn't possibly have tampered with it.
Like I said, you can't convince Jeffie of anything, and it was my undoing. Down the hatch it went, with Jeffie telling me I was gonna feel like a super-hero...
Riiiiiiight...
So, I'm taking a moment right now to apologize for the "birth" of Divot Man. Especially to the other guys on the show, who were subjected to the attempted investigations of their "divots" by me...trust me, it wasn't pleasant on either end. One of the last things I heard before departing as Divot Man was Joe saying something about getting a Deep Divot Pizza...

More on the repercussions of THAT on the next show...