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December 8, 2012 - Roller Girls, Birthdays and Ponies!

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Playlist

Badlands - Winter's Call
Trouble - Tragedy Man
Troubled Horse - Another Mans Name
Orden Ogan - Angels War

CJSS - Ready
Doro - Raise Your Fist In The Air
Druid Lord - Awaken By The Dead
Earthship - Old Widow's Gloom
Mammoth Mammoth - (Up All Night) Demons To Fight

Cult Of Luna - I: The Weapon
Hatebreed - Put It To The Torch
Hanzel Und Gretyl - Ironstar Outlaws
Children Of Technology - Mayhemic Speed Anarchy

The Gates Of Slumber - Blessed Pathway To the Celestial Kingdom
Erupted - Path Of Perdition
Death - Spiritual Healing
Dimmu Borgir - The Maelstrom Mephisto
Unleashed - Odalheim

Hate - Solarflesh
The Gardnerz - Transilvanian Hunger
Daemonicus - Inhabited
Bane - Light The Black Flame
Bane - The Truth Unleashed
Type O Negative - Black No. 1

Saxon - Broken Heroes
Sacred Reich - Ignorance
Corrosion Of Conformity - Strong Medicine Too Late
Mortiferous Scorn - Bottom Feeder
Audrey Horne - There Goes A Lady
Galadriel - Still Not Dead Enough

Wednesday 13 - Halloween 13-13
Postmortem - Falling From Hell
Dr. Living Dead! - Mental Warzone
Hellbringer - Bell Of The Antichrist
Die Hard - Sanctify The Morbid
Wintersfear - Black Dolphin
Aeon - Still They Pray
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Piled Up For The Scavengers

King Diamond - At The Graves
Sepultura - Desperate Cry
Slayer - Criminally Insane
Devo Spice - In The 80's
H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society - Harley Got Devoured By The Undead
Daemonicus - Nothing But Death
Abhor - Wings Of Chaos

Triumph - When The Lights Go Down




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Recap by The Metal Wulf

For the most part, it was a fun evening, but things got a little frustrating for me by the time the night was over. More on that in a bit, though...

So, we were celebrating three separate birthdays, as Lance, Josh, and Rick all had them during the course of the week.

A friend of Rick's was kind enough to provide a thoroughly delicious marble cake, complete with black icing and a red Pentagram design on top. Our kind of cake, without a doubt!

We had roller derby girls on the show, this time representing the newly formed Finger Lakes Lunachicks. In fact, we were only expecting a handful of girls to visit, but what was supposed to have been three turned into expecting a few more, and by the time it was all said and done, we had fifteen ladies in the studio, all there to support their team. Pretty damned cool, I must say.

I'm personally very excited at the prospects of actually having a team to represent our region, now. I'm even happier to say that these ladies seem more than content to have me represent as the team mascot.

Can you say WarWulf?




So, the evening took a turn for the weird after the arrival of Azkath.

Yeah, the moment finally arrived when he read the stupid "earthshaking" confession that was supposely prepared by me. I had no idea what to expect, but when it was all said and done, the the crap that started spewing forth was just plain ridiculous, even for OUR show...

So, according to this prepared statement that I was supposedly "too afraid to read", I am what is called a "Bronie"...

Honestly? What the FUCK is a Bronie? ** READ THIS FOR MORE DETAILS **

Apparently, a Bronie is a guy who is a fan of the My Little Pony cartoon series as well as the line of toys.

Apparently, it even goes beyond guys just being "fans", as in some extreme cases it crosses the border into fetishism...

Now, I'm not one to judge folks based on what turns them on, within reason. Hell, I could even understand the whole cartoon character thing...a HUMAN cartoon character, that is...say, a Wilma Flintstone fetish...or a Jessica Rabbit fetish...

Get where I'm coming from?

So, with that being said, take it from me. I've NEVER known anybody who even OWNED a My Little Pony...I've NEVER seen a single episode of the series...and, I don't find the stupid toys even REMOTELY CUTE!!!

End of story, no Bronies here!

** RANDY'S CONFESSION THAT HE HAD AZKATH READ ON THE AIR **

I, Randy Smith, have something to admit to all of you. This will be hard, but I do feel that it is an important part of my personality, and something that I wish you share with all of you. It means a lot to me, and it makes me who I am. In every possible way. It may be shocking, but in time, I feel that I can convert you all. So in conclusion, I Randy Smith, don't want you to look at me THAT differently because of all this. So, that's it I guess, oh, right, forgot to tell you. I am a Brony. That's right. I LOVE My Little Pony in the very best ways. The innocence. The love. The sexiness. So please, join me in my celebration of the greatness that is My Little Pony!

So, next week will probably be relatively calm, as Josh and Rick will be attending the Killswitch Engage/Shadows Fall show in Buffalo.

Joe and I, along with Lance, will still be on hand to entertain the masses! In fact, if I remember correctly, we should even see the return of Tim Binder, who will probably be back for a few weeks. Should be a good time, so tune on in!


December 1, 2012 - Abhor Visit

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Playlist

Black Country Communion - Afterglow
Mammoth Mammoth - Bury Me
Skalmold - Narfi
Finsterforst - Ein Lichtschein

Black Sabbath - Psychophobia
T&N - Slave To The Empire
Kiss - Wall Of Sound
Unleashed - Gathering The Battalions
My Dying Bride - Kneel Till Doomsday

Abhor - BAMFasaurus
Destruction - City Of Doom
Corrosion Of Conformity - The Vulture
Sons Of Aeon - Havoc & Catharsis

Abhor - Murder King
Maps Of War - Wake The Sheperd
Druid Lord - Baron Blood
God Seed - From The Running Of Blood

Abhor - Pathogen
Earthship - Iron Chest
Cradle Of Filth - Siding With The Titans
The Sword - Seven Sisters
Metal Church - Badlands

Venom - Black Xmas
Opium Warlords - Satan Knew My Secret Heart
Affiance - Righteous Kill
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Bow Down Before The Bloodcourt
Aeon - Die By My Hands

King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas
Mercyful Fate - Satan's Fall
U.D.O. - Up To The Limit
Baphomet - Broken Krypt
Incite - Retaliation

Bloodbound - Monstermind
CJSS - Too Hot
Death - Living Monstrosity
Troubled Horse - Don't Lie
Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Ritual Knife
Vicious Rumors - Don't Wait For Me
Paragon - Tornado
Orden Ogan - Land Of The Dead
Machine Head - Davidian

Ire Clad - Little Middle Man
Meathook Seed - My Infinity
Saturian - Aphotic
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Recap by Fire Eater Wizard

Rochester's Abhor joined us for a bit this week. Strongly recommend these guys, especially if you have a liking for progressive death metal. You can find them right here on Facebook, so check 'em out!



The Demon Azkath joined us once again, as Jeffie is supposedly still training his alligator to battle Joe. I'm guessing it's going to be awhile before he's ready to bring this critter to the show. As a matter of fact, I'm betting we will probably see him before he's ready to do so, since he's apparently raising this thing from a baby.

Makes you wonder how long it had been out of the egg when he found it.

Azkath DID have company this week, however, as Eric Rodriguez from Ire Clad accompanied him. Eric promptly challenged everybody on the show to arm wrestling matches, and of course we complied. Josh and I fell in quick succession, but Rick was able to hold his own for a fair chunk of time. Imagine Eric's surprise when Joe stepped up and, after some very touch and go moments, got the win! Eric is now awaiting his rematch, which may or may not ever happen.

Lessee...

I'd surprised Joe earlier in the evening by singing the chorus to an old Accept song after hearing only two or three notes of it, and this prompted Azkath to suggest we do something similar to Name That Tune, only using a selection of metal songs. I immediately jumped at the challenge. Honestly, I've just got an ear for that sort of thing, it's surprised people on a number of occasions over the years. So, bring it on, O Demon!

Further discussion about this whole Bouncy House Cake Battle thing degenerated further as somebody, (Eric I believe) suggested that Dave and I do a car wash instead. Yup, Dave and I, in our man-kini's, getting all wet and soapy.

As I recall, it was suggested that it be called "Chunkendales"...

Bunch of stuff going on next week, as we prepare to celebrate potentially up to four birthdays. Yep, Josh and Lance recently celebrated theirs, Rick's is on Saturday, and Eric's is coming up shortly as well. Apparently there will even be a pentagram cake, which is more than appropriate on a number of levels, considering it's also the holiday season!

On top of that, we'll have some girls from the recently formed Finger Lakes Lunachicks Roller Derby team, so I'm thinking that should be pretty darned cool, as well. Personally, I was glad to hear that we finally have a team to represent this particular region! Azkath also claims to have an "earthshaking announcement" to make on my behalf. Can't imagine what it's going to be, although, once again, I'm apparently supposed to know full well what it's all about.I assure you all, I am just as clueless about this as I was about the whole ridiculous "Pantsless Santa" dance thing that WON'T be happening on our End Of The World show in just over two weeks.



November 24, 2012 - Randy's Xmas Annoucement

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Playlist

Mammoth Mammoth - Bare Bones
Fozzy - God Pounds His Nails
Death - Low Life
Incubus - Beyond The Unknown

Kamelot - Ashes To Ashes
Overkill - Deny The Cross
Troubled Horse - As You Sow
Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Curse In The Trees
Anthem - Ghost In The Frame

Triumph - When The Lights Go Down
Megadeth - Good Mourning/Black Friday
Paragon - Bulletstorm
Destruction - Princess Of The Night
Bloodbound - Bonebreaker
Agony Lords - The Tree Of The Hanged

Abhor - Beating A Dead Horse
Incite - Exposed
Aeon - Blessed By The Priest
Chthonic - Takao
This Divided World - Unconditional
Druid Lord - Witchfinder

Helloween - Burning Sun
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Behead The Defense
Soundgarden - Into The Void
Skalmold - Loki
Finsterforst - Stirbt Zuletzt

Maps Of War - Charon's Decree
Pig Destroyer - Deny Everything
Sacred Reich - War Pigs
Destruction - City Of Doom
Quiet Riot - Resurrection

Herder - Mundane Affairs
CJSS - Red Handed
Butcher Babies - Jesus Needs More Babies For His War Machine
Burnt Offering - Slaughterhouse Grizzle
Diamond Plate - At The Mountains Of Madness

T&N - It's Not Love
King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas
Kiss - Hell Or Hallelujah
Aerosmith - S.O.S. (Too Bad)
Black Country Communion - Confessor
Machine Head - Davidian

My Dying Bride - The Poorest Waltz
Graveyard - An Industry Of Murder
Warlock - Touch Of Evil
Mammoth Mammoth - Sitting Pretty
Corrosion Of Conformity - Strong Medicine Too Late
Earthship - Athena

Abhor - Murder King
Cryptopsy - Red-skinned Scapegoat
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Recap by Fire Eater Wizard;

All in all, just a couple of points of interest to touch on, really.

There was a great deal of ball-busting about the possibility of me going to see Green Jelly this Friday night at The Bug Jar in Rochester.

Now, the deal with this show is that there is only one actual remaining member of Green Jelly. Vocalist Bill Manspeaker has actually been recruiting from city to city to fill out the remaining band, relying on local talent everywhere he goes. Actually, to me, that sounds pretty damned cool!

Still, it IS Green Jelly we're talking about here, not necessarily a band that was really meant to be taken seriously. But, keeping that in mind, I honestly thought their first album was hilarious. Well, better than half of it, anyway...

Anyhoo, my attitude toward this show is that, while it MAY suck, it most definitely will NOT be boring and might honestly be worth a laugh or two by the end of the night. We'll see how it goes, should I decide to attend...

Definitely had some weirdness goin' on, as Azkath made an announcement based on something I supposedly told him. Claims that I made him write this particular proclamation, which I can assure you certainly did NOT happen...

So, the deal here is, according to this announcement, I'm supposedly so depressed about the upcoming END OF THE WORLD (based on this misconstrued Mayan silliness...) and the fact that it's going to ruin a yearly Christmas ritual of mine.

This ritual apparently involves me doing the Pantsless Sata Dance, whatever the hell that is supposed to be...

*** HERE IS WHAT RANDY HAD AZKATH READ ON THE AIR **
I, Randy Smith, being of mind and body, have come to the conclusion that there will not be a Christmas this year. The world will end on the 21st of December and thus I will not be able to celebrate my typical Christmas tradition. Thus, this year I shall be celebrating this tradition at the end of the world, here on The Metallic Onslaught. You see, every Christmas day, at the end of the day, when I am alone and full of food and merryment, I perform the majestic rite of The Pantless Santa. Normally a private ceremony, but this year, due to the world ending, I will celebrate, here, at the Metallic Onslaught. with all of you.
Yup, no clue as to what this is about, and I can strongly assure all of our listeners that, despite any of my actions over the past couple of years on No Pants Day, there will be ABSOLUTELY NO Pantsless Santa Dance.

Relax folks, nothin' to worry about here. We might have ourselves an End Of The World show on that particular night, but it won't involve me running around without my pants!

To cap things off, Josh pulled something that nobody else had ever managed to do on the show, at least to my knowledge...

He fell asleep on the air!

But, thanks to Azkath, not for long...

Amazing how that boy can scream like a twelve year old with skinned knees, isn't it?


November 17, 2012 - Jayne Dracula

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Playlist
T&N - Into The Fire
The Sword - Eyes Of The Stormwitch
My Dying Bride - Within The Presence Of Absence
CJSS - Ready For War

King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas
Death - Genetic Reconstruction
Troubled Horse - Bring My Horses Home
Helloween - Heavy Metal (Is The Law)
Orden Ogan - Dying Paradise

Druid Lord - Witchfinder
Manowar - Black List
Morgion - Nomads Of The Dawn
Aeon - Dead Means Dead
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Circus Of Mass Torment

Sons Of Aeon - Enemy Of The Souls
Hanging Garden - Ash And Dust
Burnt Offering - Snow Death
Corrosion Of Conformity - Priest Brains
Galerna - Chemical Warfare

Dethklok - Killstardo Abominate
Pig Destroyer - The Diplomat
Incite - Feel The Flames
Axewound - Cold
All That Remains - Sing For Liberty
The Bronx - Ribcage

Doro - Rock Till Death
Neurosis - All Is Lost...In Time
The Sorrow - Dead Home
Black Country Communion - Common Man
Kiss - Long Way Down

T&N - It's Not Love
Michael Angelo Batio - Tribute To Randy
Like Moths To Flames - Some Nights
Machine Head - Halo
Tiamat - Winter Dawn

Jayne Dracula - Land Of Transilvania
Butcher Babies- Mr. Slowdeath
Herder - The Invisible Hand
A Perfect Day - Long Road To Ruin
Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Withered Hand Of Evil

Jayne Dracula - Saturn Under Sunset
Maps Of War - Prescription 666
Death - Defensive Personalities
Revocation - Maniacally Unleashed
Sacred Reich - Ignorance
Aeon - The Glowing Hate
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Recap by The Metal Wulf;

We were joined in the studio by Azriel Mordecai, former bass player for Zadoc...and The Nightmare!, now currently playing in Jayne Dracula. Hadn't hung with Az in awhile, and it was extremely cool to have him on hand to bring us up to speed.

As a matter of fact, if you were listening you got to hear Azriel come up with an idea that pretty much has made this cake battle with Dave a done deal. Yeah, I know, I've been denying for weeks that I would succumb to this silliness, but the truth of the matter is, Azriel came up with an idea of how to present this event that's just too damned amusing not to attempt.

So, let me submit this for consideration: David Gee (from The Last Exit For The Lost) and little ol' me, in a wrestling match featuring cake. This match is to take place in a Bouncy House (Azriel's idea), and with the right strings pulled, will be refereed by Crappy The Clown (of Stool and Punch Drunk Monkeys fame...or infamy...those who are familiar know where I'm comin' from...)

Seriously, I'm in, assuming we can get Crappy to referee.

Of course, it's easy for me to agree to this, because there's probably no chance in Hell we'll get this to come together anyway. So, unless some serious alignmenmt of the stars takes place, I still wouldn't hold your breath for this particular event.

Just picture the silliness in your head for now!

Let's see...

Not much else really note-worthy that I remember.

However, there was a particularly amusing discussion of the whole Hostess bankruptcy debacle that led to a further discussion of other sweet snack foods that we've liked or disliked over the years.

In a nutshell, the conversation focused on our favorite combinations of chocolate and other things...marshmallow, coconut, nuts in general...

Of course, once nuts came into the equation, the conversation proved to be an example of just how dirty our minds can get sometimes, not to mention how quicly things can just plummet into inappropriateness.

Funny...it didn't occur to me until just now that we never even brought cherries into the mix... that would have been oddly fitting, all things considered... 


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