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September 25, 2010 - I-Dosing Jeffie

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Previously, the Onslaught had been pre-recorded as we all made our way to The Haunt in Ithaca to check out some great bands at a show that was hosted by our sister program, The Last Exit For The Lost. Gotta say, it was very cool that we all got down there to hang out with that crew, since it really doesn't happen very often. But, this week it was back to business as usual, meaning our usual mix of music and mayhem! Lance had dropped in for a bit, and once again we found ourselves discussing Jackyl's free show at the State Fair. I just can't seem to find a leg to stand on with this one, but at least Lance was able to try to back me up a bit. Hey, I'm of the mind that if something is pleasing to your ears, then more power to you. That's how I've always approached this kind of music. Not every genre or sub-genre is going to be to everybody's tastes, and I'm cool with that. Personally, my favorites fall into the categories of straight hard rock, shock rock, power metal, and thrash, plus a little bit of death and black metal. That is just how I'm wired, and I don't expect everybody to like the same things I get into. Besides, I've said before that it's our listening diversity that makes for a great little radio show! So, I just take the ribbing about Jackyl with a grain of salt, even if Joe seems to think I need to be sacrificed to Shagrath at the Dimmu Borgir show that's coming to Buffalo in December. Hell, I know he doesn't really mean it. At least, I hope he doesn't...

Now, in my previous recap I mentioned that Bill and I had paid a visit to The Last Exit For The Lost, where we approached the Demon Azkath about Jeffie and the fact that he totally ruined my perfectly good werewolf gimmick. Azkath had suggested a solution that would possibly make Jeffie stupider, and hopefully more tolerable and less annoying. Well, I'm glad to tell you all that it seemed to work! Yep, seems there's this cool little phenomenon called I-dosing. It uses audio stimulation to produce effects that are similar to drugs, be it marijuana, ecstasy, or acid. I'm sure there are others as well. Well, Bill acquired an i-dose version of ecstasy, which we then exposed Jeffie to. We'd explained to him that it would just make him more awesome, although he didn't seem to believe he could become any awesomer. In the end, we convinced him that it would work, and the end result was very much to our approval. Docile, quiet, not in the least annoying, and just dumb enough to be fooled by the wolf get-up! Yep, I'd have to say problem solved! I mean, what could possibly go wrong now?

September 18, 2010 - Prerecorded

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So this show was just Jeffie and Joe, pre-recorded because all involved were at The Haunt in Ithaca for a Last Exit for the Lost Show... They still managed to have a good time...  I believe Joe even admitted hosting the show with Jeffie was.... Fun. Listen for it.

September 11, 2010 -

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; We had a return visit from some of our Roc City Roller Derby friends on this edition, specifically Ja-Boodie, Izzy Normous, and Cuss Muffin, who incidentally had recently returned from Nicaragua. Yep, our Cuss is a worldly lady, and always has some cool stories to relate about her travels. They were, of course, on hand to promote last night's bout at the Dome Arena. Not sure how that went for them, but I'm sure the ladies skated their hearts out. At least those who aren't on the injured list, as part of this evening's discussion centered around the number of casualties for this season. C'mon girls, stay healthy!

Now, as those of you who listen regularly know, I'd acquired a very large plush version of Animal from The Muppet Show a few months back. Well, after Friday night, Animal is no longer in my care, and it's probably for the best. He'd taken a bit of abuse and was showing more than a little wear and tear. The new owner of Animal is none other than Cuss Muffin herself, who is a tremendous fan of The Muppets, and when she'd expressed interest in him awhile back, I'd decided that if she really wanted him, I'd hand him over the next time she paid us a visit. Let me tell ya, that was one happy Derby girl who left on Friday night! Hey, in the long run, I'd rather see Animal stay in one piece with somebody who'd be happy with him than see the poor thing get decimated during the radio show. Take care of him, Cuss!

I'd taken a bit of abuse during the evening for going to see Jackyl's free show at the State Fair last Monday. I was fully expecting to take a ribbing over it, yet was completely unrepentant for having seen them. As I've said, we all have our favorite styles when it comes to heavy music, and some of my favorite bands are just straight up hard rock. The important part is that I had a GREAT time at that show. Besides, I'll have some upcoming opportunities to redeem myself as I take in upcoming shows from the Gruesome Twosome (Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie) on their Halloween Hootenanny tour, as well as High On Fire, Overkill, and quite possibly Dimmu Borgir in Buffalo! Sooooo many good shows coming up!

One of the cooler moments of the show, for me at least, came when we played a Sister Sin song for none other than The Hardcore Legend, Mick Foley, himself! "Wow, Wulfie, how did this come about?", you may ask. Well, it's kinda like this. Two weeks ago, Joe had played a Nasty Savage song that featured an appearance from Luna Vachon, a former WWE wrestler who had recently passed away. A day or so later, I was reading Mick Foley's blog, where he'd taken some time to pay his respects to Luna and relate some of his experiences with her over the years. I'd left a comment for Mick telling him about Joe's tribute, and Mick had actually responded with some interest in the show. I'd sent him a message via MySpace to fill him in a bit, and he responded with a thank you and a request for us to play some Sister Sin, as they're his new favorite band! Seriously, how damned cool is that? Or course we had to come through on this! Don't know if Mick was actually listening, but we delivered for him, by God!

I've gotta give myself a little credit, here. As I was relating that Mick Foley story, I had to attempt to ignore some distracting behavior from Jeffie, who seemed to think I'd appreciate a back massage at that moment... Then Cuss Muffin and Billiam joined him... Talk about grace under pressure. Hey, at least my back felt better! But, yeah, this led to some aggravation with Jeffie. Yep, I'd pretty much reached my limit of tolerance, and I actually told him I was going to make a trip down to Ithaca's The Last Exit For The Lost to have a discussion with the Demon Azkath. Jeffie, of course, was undeterred and wanted to come along with me. Seems Azkath doesn't really want Jeffie around either... That's okay, though, 'cuz I DID make that trip, and I think we've got a solution to make Jeffie less annoying in the coming weeks!

It won't, however, occur on the next show. Seems that next week's edition of The Metallic Onslaught will be pre-recorded as we all attend a very cool Last Exit For The Lost-hosted show at Ithaca's The Haunt. Yep, we are ALL going there to see Vindicator, Moore, Angels Beneath Me, and a special guest band who are coming down from Canada. If you like old-school thrash metal, this show may just be up your alley! Besides, how many opportunities do those involved with BOTH radio shows have to hang out on the same night? This is gonna kick ass!

September 4, 2010 - Off Kilter...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Seemed a little strange this week, I must say, not that there wasn't a valid reason. Bill, Rick, and myself had all taken a little pre-show trek to Suzy's Tavern in Auburn to check out Torment The Vein. This show also featured 9 Round and Caustic, and I'm sure if it weren't for the fact that we still wanted to hit the airwaves, we would have stayed for the other bands as well. There'll be other opportunities, though!


So, yes, it was a tad awkward walking into the show at about 11:30 to find Jeffie had beaten us! And he was in Rick's spot in the control room! On top of that, Josh hadn't joined us since he'd gone to the State Fair to see Coheed and Cambria's free show at Chevrolet Court. Yep, things definitely felt a little off-kilter, so to speak! It wasn't long after we arrived that I was petitioning strongly for Rick and Jeffie to trade to their usual spots. Nothing against Rick personally, at all, but Lordy, I don't think I want to know what that guy ate Friday! I even ended up visiting Joe and Jeffie in the control room, for the simple fact that it just smelled better in there! Of course, another visit was a little less pleasant for Jeffie. Seems someone thought he'd goad me into a chorus of Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name". Most other nights, with any other band, it probably would have worked. But, Wulfie's not a Bon Jovi fan... I ended up making my way into the control room, and those listening probably heard me slapping Jeffie around a bit as I yelled, "DO I LOOK LIKE A BON JOVI FAN TO YOU!?!?!?!?!?" Oh, Jeffie, Jeffie, Jeffie... I also asked him if he'd been into my mushroom collection again, because he started spouting some nonsense about unmasking me last week. Honestly, I had to ask him if he was on crack! Now, I have a feeling someone hacked my recap last week, saying some slanderous b.s. I wouldn't trust that at all! Nope, not in a million years! And if any video happens to pop up, well, don't trust that either... I am well and truly a wolf! Count on it! : )


Now, there was some speculation on this particular evening that had to do with the theory that all the stupid on the show seems to hover in the "other room", where Bill, Josh, Lance, myself, and most recently Tim, hang out. Hell, I figured it would be a little more sane in there, since Jeffie was in the control room. I mean, it stood to reason that all the stupid should have followed Jeffie in there, right? Wrong... I think I can categorically say, after an evening of Rick (yes, and me, too!) playing the "butt trumpet", and Bill playing some crazy sound bits off of his Droid-X, we have plenty of our own stupidity going on! Which is why, during the final talk break, we admitted that "WE NEED A MOMMY IN THE STUPID ROOM"!!!!

August 28, 2010 - Sorrow of Batavia

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Featured a lot of new music this week, with tracks from Accept, Death Angel, and former Nightwish vocalist, Tarja. From what I heard, you probably can't go wrong with any of them, although I'd personally say that the new Accept material seemed to stand out a little more. I definitely need to hear some more of that one...

Elmira death-metallers, Sorrow Of Batavia, had joined us in the studio. We'd been wanting to get them on the show for some time, and it proved to be well worth the wait. These guys flat-out blew us away when we first started playing their material on the show a few months back, one of those cases where our ears perked up and we said, "This is great, who the hell is this?" Further proof that there are some great bands throughout the area, if you look hard enough! The guys were a great deal of fun to hang with. Hell, one of the members even joined Bill, Rick, Josh, and myself on a run to Cold Stone Creamery in between talk breaks. Seems Bryan LOVES Cold Stone just as much as we do, and told Bill he'd even ride in the trunk if he had to. Bill had told him, jokingly, that there was probably room for him in the trunk. And he was right! Yes, I bullshit you not when I say that Bryan rode with us IN THE TRUNK of Bill's Nissan! We squeezed him into the back seat on the way back, though. Would've been a little difficult for him to eat his ice cream if he went back into the trunk...

Anyhoo, on to some of the craziness of the evening.

I got into a bit of a tussle with Jeffie. Can't seem to remember what sparked it, but things eventually got out of hand with his continued insistence that I'm not really a wolf and his belief that I wear a mask.Well, things came to a head during a talk break. Yep, Jeffie'd been slapping me on the snout all night, and I'd had enough! However, during one of our tussles, he got one hand on my snout and one hand on the back of my head, and then he started to twist...For those listening, you probably heard me yelling, which led to a blood-curdling scream as Jeffie twisted my head until it faced backwards.Then, you probably heard a thud as I hit the floor...Then, you probably heard me yell "THAT DOES IT!!!"And then, you probably didn't hear anything, 'cuz I accidentally hit the "on/off" switch on the surge protector that was lying on the floor. You probably did hear some confusion from Joe and Rick in the other room just before going to the next music break! Now, what you DIDN"T get to hear was me confessing that I'm NOT REALLY A WEREWOLF AFTER ALL!!!!!(GASP!!!!) And yes, it was REALLY A MASK ALL ALONG!!!! (DOUBLE GASP!!!!) Of course, if you were still tuned in after the talk break, you got to hear that confession anyway, along with Jeffie's boasting about knowing it all along! C'mon Jeffie, I had you fooled, and you know it! It took you over a year to even get a LITTLE suspicious! The joke was all on you, bro! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!Of course, I have to admit something else that was addressed on the show. I may not actually be a real werewolf, but I DID eat Jeffie's Llamas a couple months ago...EWWWWW!!!

So, yeah, for the record, let me introduce myself: My real name is Randy, and I only PRETEND to be a headbanging werewolf! But I'm sure you were all smart enough to put that together, anyway...One thing's certain: It's only gonna get crazier from here! I mean, eventually somebody else has to hear what God's message was, don't they?

August 21, 2010 - Lance's Return

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Had a couple of surprises on this particular evening, as we were paid a visit not only from Lance, but also Lance's friend, Tim.Now, Tim's been on the show before, and I'm not 100% sure what he's involved with now, but I know as of his last visit, he was employed by Century Media. So, here's a guy who's got some closer insight to the business than we'll probably ever have. Not that I'm complaining about my little niche in all this fun, but it's kinda cool to have that extra perspective on hand from time to time. Looks like he might be hanging with us a bit more in the coming weeks, and I say the more the merrier!

Probably the funniest discussion of the evening centered around a tattoo idea for Josh. Lance suggested we all kick in for Josh to get the Helloween pumpkin design for his first tat, with the stipulation that the tat has to go on his lower back.Josh really wasn't down with the idea of a Helloween tramp stamp so to speak, but if he wants it someplace else, he's gotta pay for it himself.Of course, this concept went further as we discussed an old 80's band called Rail, who I'd remembered had a video for a song called "1,2,3,4 Rock N' Roll", and I never heard much of them since then.Well, somewhere along the line it was mentioned that maybe Josh could get a Rail tramp stamp. I went so far as to suggest that it wouldn't be so bad, as long as it wasn't a prison tattoo, because then it would give new meaning to the term "running a train"...Which led Joe to mention something about Josh's cellmate would be someone named "Gerbil"...Yeah, things spiraled down pretty low, I must say!

Possibly one of the more uncomfortable moments of the evening came when Joe went to play an Exodus song, and decided to share a couple of terrible covers from the disc in question. He didn't play the full songs, just a minute or two from each, but even that much of listening to Exodus doing versions of "Bitch" by The Rolling Stones and "Pump It Up" by Elvis Costello proved to be almost unbearable.But, we got through it only slightly worse for wear.

Also got into a little discussion about some upcoming shows (they're still teasing me about wanting to see Jackyl...), which led into a further discussion about the future of the Penny Arcade in Rochester. Now, it's been close to a year since this place hosted any shows, and it's really heartbreaking to think that it may never open it's doors again. Place has way too much history to just sit there empty, but it seems that Joe and Bill said it best when they mentioned that the current owners just seem content to run it into the ground... Now, as far as other venues go, we've got some GREAT shows coming through to the Water Street Music Hall, who'll be hosting Gwar in October, as well as High On Fire. Not to mention the Montage, who not only just hosted Devildriver and a number of others last weekend, but who will also be hosting Overkill in November, as well as Epica.Good times, good damned times!

August 14, 2010 - Jeffie Goes Nuts

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Focused a lot on music, as Joe played a few tracks from the Murderdolls latest disc, "Women And Children Last", as well as "The Order Of The Black", from Black Label Society.Both of these discs are already among my favorites for the year, needless to say.
As far as the usual insanity went, Billiam pretty much received his official initiation to the show, as he was the subject of some Jeffie abuse.Can't remember if I've ever mentioned these pants that Bill has had for awhile. Think of the most ridiculously flared bell bottom jeans you've ever seen, then add about ten inches in diameter. There's a reason we refer to them as the "Holy Shit Pants", I assure you...Well, Jeffie decided to try sticking his head as far up Bill's pant leg as it would go, and he made it a pretty good distance. Amazingly enough, Bill managed to handle the experience with a surprising lack of hysterics.Of course, that wasn't all. Bill's new Droid-X became the subject of a game of "Guess What's In Jeffie's Pants", as did a Jester's cap that he's fond of wearing for offbeat occasions. I think his car keys may have been involved at some point as well.Poor Bill, it was bound to happen eventually! Of course, things just deteriorated from there. Got to be a bit of a mess, actually, as cases of CD's were upturned over Jeffie's head, and a Frisbee was broken over his head...Honestly, I didn't mean to break the poor Frisbee! I didn't think I'd hit him that hard, I swear!!!!Somewhere in all the chaos, I ended up nipping Jeffie. I don't think it was a full-fledged bite, but things got our of hand. He seemed to think he was going to become a werewolf, and eventually he put on this really cheap-looking vinyl wolf mask.I mean, really, it looked like something you'd buy at the zoo...Well, we called his bluff soon enough, and further carnage ensued.All has been recorded for posterity, so keep your eyes open for the impending video footage. I have a feeling it's gonna be worth more than a few chuckles!

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